My nascent thoughts

So, when life gives you lemons, make lemonades. Nobody is throwing lemons at me. I just wanted a line to start this post with. It has been pretty long since I have quit my job. I wake up with nothing to worry about and sleep with, well, without an alarm. What more can anyone ask for? You will enjoy this life only when you have a plan in life. At least that is true in my case. Had it not been for my masters plan I would have been hating every single second that is spent aimlessly. Patna. It is almost same as the way I left it. You may exclude some newly constructed bridges. I mean the people. All of them drive with boiling blood. They are all ready to knock any one down, any minute. Bank officials are too slow. Or it is too early for me to judge. Yes. My dad is really very proud. I know. How do I know? Every single uncle he meets, he introduces me as my-daughter-who-is-going-to-California. I am like – “yes uncle, that’s true!” . So every time he promises me that he will not ...

4:34 PM! Friday. May 8th, 2015. I should be happy. Now everyday will be a weekend and damn I have severe headache and I am crying! I was super excited at office. I was all giggling and talking. There wasn't a farewell feeling even for a second. Now that I am home. All alone and re-re-re-reading the framed messages. Mail replies. I realize no more Monday. Not that meditation cubicle anymore. While Astha was crying, I was watching her like a potato in coma (that is the effect of the disney shows I was watching yesterday) with my brain and heart knocking my stone hearted soul "dude-do-you-realize-now-that-you-are-leaving"! I am here lying on my bed and feeling like a shit. I touched my eyes, tears! I was under the impression that its just the boy friend that makes you cry. I will miss office. I will miss you Manjunath. I will miss you Astha. I will miss you Santosh. I will miss working and chit chatting with all of you. If only I could express. I opened email.microchi...

Alright. So a lot has been happening in my life off-late! I got an admit(unexpectedly) from UCSD. One of the best college in the world. Delighted. I have so many people to thank to. I will not list out their names but everyone made a difference- whether big or small. I am glad I belong to such a milieu. Well, I am blurting out here which means either it was an excellent day or a rough day. Rough day today!  People say I am a very emotional person and take things to heart. I am advised to stay practical. Difficult. I do not make many friends. I choose few and cherish them for lifetime. I think I possess all the traits of a Scorpion. I had a huge brawl with one my teacher at school because she came and hit me saying 'Don't  talk", in the assembly when entire school was involved in some kind of discussion. I raised my voice : "A student in 11th standard should not be hit. My parents never raised their hands to hit me". I was humiliated and my response humiliate...

Hello world! I am in an inevitable state of mind. Life is pretty challenging. No, not because I have piles of things to be concerned about-transcripts, application, SOP, LOR, Bank statement. I can get them done. Not even because there was some tension at home. It is resolved . My personal life is screwed. What do I want to do? Go out on a trip all alone. With nobody around. No human company! Its an ugly world out there. Or perhaps my heart is not pure enough to visualize the beauty of the world. So to get the frustration out of my mind, I though blabbering here might help. You know what? Stay single! Chase your dreams. Do what you like! Be proud of yourself. Never let yourself down in your own eyes. Maintain your self respect! Respect yourself, the world will respect you. Be strong. People judge you? Let them. They have no clue what you have been through. So forget everything. Don't let your heart rule you. Listen to your mind. It is smart. It knows and always tells you the ri...

Kerela trip was a refreshing break from the monotonous office life. I had always wished to wake up to the sounds of waves clattering against the shore. Sit in the balcony and watch the view for hours. I love to spend some time with myself, alone, at times. It was beautiful. Then there was a small celebration. Cake said "7 years of love and togetherness"! Cheers. I have developed a new craving. I want to have a pet dog. They make wonderful friends. Last week when I was waiting for a friend,a street dog came and sat next to me. I started conversating with the dog. Me: "Hello" He looked up at me with Are-you-really-talking-to-me expression. His eyes were dull. I resumed "Do you have any worries in life? Worrying about masters? Worrying about shaping up your career?" He sat down with his eye resting on ground and ended up feeling sorry for me. Me: Oh yeah! Now you don't even care. Why would you? Your life is all about sleeping and eating. I a...

Okay I am really pissed of with myself. I actually do not understand, why I am not able to update my blog. I mean I have opened the page some 10 times, drafted 4 and deleted rest. Enough of this shit. I am posting whatever is occuring to me.  With every passing day you you learn a lot of things. I figured out that one must not solely rely on anyone for his happiness. I mean it is your life. Do whatever you get pleasure in. Of course, do not end up hurting anyone around. But then why hurt yourself, for anybody else? Everybody have their priority in lives. Set yours and move on. Being ambitious is good, but if you place your loved one in the same priority index as your work, if not top then you  really are an amazing personality and an adorable one.  Things change. Nothing is constant. Beauty fades. But you discover new things.If talking to few people cheer you up. Chat. How does it matter if others despise them. Do not worry about being judged. Life is too short fo...

It has been a huge journey here on this blog. From teen-age to office-going-girl. How smartly time has cruised along! I remember reading somewhere- "Do not grow up, it's a trap!"  It is not. It is totally one's own discernment and what they fabricate out of their lives. Of course life is not commensurate with how long one lives but by making most of the moments count. I have been raised in a milieu where I was given most of the liberty and perhaps that accounts for my irascible attitude and obstinacy.  I was in school when I fell in love. I did not know what is love then. I know now. If I am a better person today, it is because of him.This July it will be the completion of 7 most beautiful years. 07/07/07 is still fresh in my mind. Like it was yesterday he was crossing the road to say his first "hi" and I was nervously glancing him from the other side with somebody-make-me-disappear-now expression. I still remember for the first time he asked me ou...

Dadaji is no more with us. It was a strange feeling. He was the fittest person I had seen in my entire life. When I was dialing a number suddenly "Dadaji" as contact name popped up. I had this sudden urge to dial and talk to him. One last time. I wish I had done that some days back. I miss you now. I will miss the compliments you give to the food I prepare. I will miss you saying "Bahut sunder chai hai". I will miss your french-fries-and-alu-bhujiya comparison. I will miss the stories you narrated . But, I am happy you left us without pain and illness. Now,you can even meet dadi. :)  You might not be physically present but in our hearts you will always be alive dadaji. You were always proud of me. I will make you prouder. Love you. Rest in peace. 

When I was a kid(Yeah I am 99 now) I thought the most boring place on earth is attending your mother's uncle's grand-daughter's brother's wedding. Now my view has changed. I feel it's my office! I feel like I am meditating in my own cubicle. But, I still like my office. I have no complaints. When people ask me "Hows your office life?" I say "good". I guess it is good, because other than getting bored and meditating there's nothing I do not like. Perhaps a greater number of new join-ees would have helped. Of course you cannot expect your office to be like college. They organized some campus-to-corporate induction program which scared the hell out of me. I do not like to go home. Not that I have a step mom and drunkard dad, but I do not like to go home because when I do go, I feel terrible while coming back. Just to avoid that terrible feeling I avoid going home. That means I am dumb. I know. Last time my mum left, Swati had a real tough j...

Okay, you will get the feel of the title only if you've seen friends(serial). I have changed! So much. I was reading my posts of 2005! :O Every birthday was "best of my life", every year was "best of my life". I mentioned I hate people with serious grave look! I was a chatter box! Where the hell is that part of me! Yuck! I suck! I have changed so much? OH-MY-GAWD!

It was a normal day, in fact a good day till I got off the cab. Distance from my home to where cab drops me(at 4:40 pm) is 700m ! I was walking, like my usual self,I was lost somewhere, when I heard somebody singing behind me. I gave way for the person to overtake but he did not. That rung a bell-"Stalker?" :O I paused for a while, and he moved ahead only to pretend to buy something from a shop and be behind me again. I did not realize this till I saw him actually following me and staring, again. Enough, I stood there. Still! I stared back at him. He moved on 10 steps ahead and stood there waiting for me. I did not move. Not able to see me pass, he turned back to look for me. There I was still staring and very sure this time. It is not an accident. This time I moved ahead and started screaming at the top of my voice, I was about to pick up a stone. He ran away! Honestly, this wasn't me. I have never been like this. I thought I can shout at nobody other than my Sis an...

Now that you are a regularly visiting this place, I want to say that I understood (almost)everything in the weekly meeting today. I wasn't sitting with blank expression on face. :P Thank you, Sir. :P PS: Waiting to see the bald you. :D

Wow! I was in a cricket stadium watching the "history to be" of cricket! I got to burst crackers with people(friends. I missed mum,dad and dear lil' sis though) I love to be with! That to crackers worth 15k! whoa! I was part of the crowd in stadium and part of the Mexican wave pool which would make my heart jump with enthrallment every time I saw it on TV! Cooking more than 60 puris with friends! Watching men in blue under lights was so soothing to eyes! Making rangoli for the first time was another experience! I gather, all my sentences are ending with exclamation mark! :P I am so thrilled. I was. Vacation over. :( Back to normal life . :( PS: I will put up the detail of cricket match and diwali some other time. I have to.

It's my birthday today. I never look forward to birthdays usually, I mean I don't get thrilled "yeyy my b'day is coming"! But, everybody made me feel really special today. Swati your puri, alu sabzi and kheer was the most wonderful gift. I was delighted. I am sorry I slept off in the movie, I was reallyy tired. :P Thank you AJ , Rasu and everyone for everything. I am happy. Really. Lying in bed. Extremely tired. Yawning. That is me at the moment. Of course listening to my favorite song - Tu Jahan(Salam Namaste). I have special attachment to this song. I don't know why. I have been listening to this song ever since I was in school, and totally in love with it. Dil sochta tha koi apna ho koi raaz na ho, jo usse rakhna ho aankhein na kholun main, shayad sapna ho... End of the post on this note. Good night people. Love your life! I do. :)

Guess what happened yesterday! I told my dad, I want to drive to office without breaking my legs. He asked "you want to buy a car?" I said "yes" . He said "go ahead"! :O I could not believe me ears. I got the permission to buy a car! OMG! I was soaring in my house thrilled shouting "make a wish, granted!" , "make a wish, granted!"  :P Now, after my exuberant moment, when I got to normal, I realized I have to join driving classes. :P I am now worried, will I be able to ? Can I do it? Should I? Is this a sane decision considering it's been just 3 months I have been to office. Somebody help me decide!! Scooty. there is a huge possibility of me landing to hospital with broken legs or anything. Recent one my friend's sister had to face this. So, that scares me. Now should I buy the car or not? I went to see doctor yesterday. He said "You don't drink water and you're anaemic"! He has asked me to see him again on...

It was an awesome weekend! I really look up to you. I adore the way the way you make everything look so simple. I adore the way you look at life. I love the way you pamper me. I feel blessed to be the part of your life. I am not fighting with you again. :D At least I'll try my level best. No more to say.Actually , a lott to say! Doctor said I have less hemoglobin and slightly lesser BP. Don't worry. I'll take care of myself. You're awesome!  

Okay! I want to say that I have nothing to say again.  I hate getting up early in the morning. I skipped many of my first hour class in college which started at 9 to get, little more sleep! Nowadays, I wake up at 6:30! Thanks to office! :D When my dad discovered my office timing is 7:30 to 4:30. He was like: 7:30?? 7:30?? Amazing! See, this is what I wanted. Now, you'll know! He was enthralled by the fact that I have to go to office at 7:30! I hate getting up early. :( Everyone(My friends) has their problems. Some are worried about getting job, some about work pressure, some about career, some wants to get married(seriously?Btw, some are already married too!), some about their increasing weights and some about higher studies! I fall in the last one. Actually, I am not sure if I really do. I don't know if I want to go for higher studies or simply I want go out of India. I want to experience, explore new places. Never mind, my wish keeps changing. When I was in school, m...

Date: 01/10/13 I am in office. I don’t have work right now. I am getting really bored. I am having slight trouble to breathe(No, not because I do not have work. I am not a geek . Ok, I am a little! :/). I always wanted to resume blogging like the way I used to, when I was in school(I can picturize myself with a water bottle around my neck), I am not able to. I always have this disposition of getting too much into anything. Like, when I was in school, I was crazy about cricket. Later, I was so much into blogging and chatting thing that at one point of time I had more virtual friends than real ones! If I accidently woke up at 4 a.m, I wouldn’t go back to sleep.Instead I would hang on to the 512 or 256 mb RAM(can’t recall) compooter with windows xp and write a post and then go back to sleep again!(Did I just specify the technical detail of my the then compooter?) .Then, I fell in love. I left everything from cricket to blogging to internet!I was in 11 th . Now I don’t want to get s...

Okay, guess what it's 4 am! I haven't gone to sleep. After ages i am up till this hour. Didn't had a very good start of the day, but it ended well actually perfectly well. I mentioned in my previous post about the cloud computing workshop and I bunked it! Lazy me! Good news is that it's Sunday today and I have a choice to get up late! Monday too, is a holiday. I am planning to fast for Shivaratri. Fasting, for the first time in my life! Swati(my ROOM MATE, actually she pretty attached to the word "room mate") is sleeping! Yeah, she's human and if my mommy is reading this post I am sure she'll definitely bombard me with her questions! I have to wrap up this post. It's very late. goodnight neha! off to sleep. :)

Its been long long long time since i have updated my blog. I often visit my blog and some other blogs which i used to visit way back in 2005-2006! Whoa! 2005? Seriously its 2012 now, right? When i scroll through my posts which i used to post in my school days, and when i read the comments, it brings smile on my face. I miss that life, my school life, my school friends particularly Smriti, Silky, Priya, Surabhi and all. Two days back, I made an attempt to contact Priya, but her numbers are not available. :( We all had promised we'll stay in touch, but things change. I miss them a lot at time. Okay, I am just another "engineer to be", 3 more semesters and college life will be over! Well presently, I want it to get over, but I am sure when it actually happens I am definitely going to miss my college life. I have made new friends here. Swati, Ruchi, Roshni, Shiwani and all. Swati, well on her, I can write a book. She a girl of that disposition which every person on earth wish...