my nascent thoughts

Till I was in 10th, I don’t remember a single day I traveled alone. Okay I am not talking of traveling from India to Afghanistan but like from machua toli to macharhatta. The two Ms are places in Patna. …and my knowledge about different places here was same as that of a three year old’s or you can say worse than that. I mean even if I were kidnapped I could be safely kept in the fifth building to mine’s, I’d be wondering where on earth am I. Basically, I spent half of my day at school and rest at home. Life is different now. I mean I go out alone, that too on my own. It might sound silly but it’s quite an achievement for me. From coaching to everywhere I do the traveling without any known company. It’s interesting.

There is a rush for autos when 100s of students come out of coaching centers. Mostly jumping, skipping, dancing or somehow boys manage to attack autos. The one who are left are the girls or at least I am the last one left anyway unless the autowala with a heart as big as hippopotamus refuse the boys and offers the seats to girls. Yesterday, a person came next to us[me and a friend],-“kaha jana hai madam?” “X road!” “Toh aayi ye na, mera auto aage hai.” My friend-“cool yaar, itni jaldi!great luck, C’mmon.” My detective mind came to play. Kidnapping? :O I mean how can it be so easy, when there are so many passengers still waiting, you are invited as if Rabri devi is your mami. But before I could resist, my friend dragged me, I had no time to explain her. But 15 steps ahead an auto was waiting. We sat. The autowala started, two more boys(students) came, the autowala made them sit on his either side. Another came, he was about to sit next to us when autowala screamed-“ A A A idhar aao bhai! ” …and he sat next to where 3 people were already sitting. For those who’ve never seen what’s an auto is like let me tell you 4 people were sitting on seat which was meant for one.

Both of us exchanged glances. “Whats going on, exactly!” Till the time in the auto there were 6 people. 2 girls sitting comfortably on 3 seats and 3 boys with autowala on a single seat were hanging like guavas from mango tree. Okay, we weren’t dropped at fifth building to mine’s but to exact place where we had to. When we came out and paid the fare, the autowala asked with a pleased smile on his face-“ koi taqleeef nahi hua na madam? Hum sambhaal kar chala rahe the!” He meant he drove minimising the jerks on smooth roads of Patna. I frowned but could not help smiling, -“thank you, bilkul nahi.” The three guavas…err…I mean boys sat finally on 3 different seats and the auto was on its way. We exchanged glances nth time and burst into laughter scaring away the street dog who was comfortably asleep.

Girls do have advantages. Nahi? Well at least this incident made me feel so. Safe and sound I was at home. No I am not obsessed by ‘kidnapping’ but this incident is still fresh in mind.

Anyway…I hope we come across such autowala everyday. :D

Love is like a butterfly.
The more you chase it, the more it eludes you.
But if you let it fly, it would come to you when you least expect it.

No no...I am not in love. Relax. I was just looking for something to begin this post. Liked this quote, found it good, so pasted it here.Anyway.

Its been a long time since I stepped into this blog world. Thanks to nitin. Well actually I owe him a lot! Blogging has been quite an experience for me.

And another year is at its verge. 2006 was of okay types. I mean this year was completely different. Everything has changed. I mean my routine was nearly same for past 10 years, and its pretty different now. This was the year of many' firsts' and 'frusts'. First time appeared for board examination. First time discovered what's co-ed is like. First time I was away at some other school, where there were none of my dear pals namely Silky, Smriti, Surabhi , Priya, Jayanti, Sneha. But I have Lekhi here. First time somebody proposed me. [It was this day when I felt ...err...I'm not a kid] First time I rejected my first proposal. :P I don't believe in gf and bf thing! First time I felt good about myself, I mean...forget it.

Well, look how competitive things are. I discovered yesterday my cousin brother has got AIR 1 in NTSE or some competition. Cool. Mindblowing. I am so happy for him& have just received his new year card with wishes-"Aim for the moon"! *wipe off the perspiration* .I hope am not getting competitive at all but these things build a lot of pressure, when you are told look everybody's performing. Papa expects a lott. I am never compared but competitons develop automatically.I just hope I'd fulfill everybody's expectations. kambhakt life mein bott tension hai, yaar! Btw, he won a digi-cam. I am envious, you know. :P Hey I hope amitanshu isn't reading this. If you are, don't take it in negative sense. Mis-understanding is the worst thing, which hampers every relationship. Life wasn't smooth in past few months.I have just overcome some serious problem which is not worth mentioning here.

Something I learnt this year. You just can't make things happen the way you want. Be patient, be your true self, you'll always get the positive output.

Whoa! Am I sounding like someone suffering from OCD or something? Nah! I am in no dilemma. Now while I am typing this I have such a serious expression on my face as if it has been ages since I smiled. anyway anyway anyway. Ab hamara jaane ka time shime ho gaya. Bole toh mere ko jaane ka hai.

Wish you all a VERY VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR, 2007!

Examination time! Ended up with my chemistry paper[ which I obviously screwed up], and landed here in cc, after a long long time. This time I was asked if I want my net connection back, but I refused. I am still wondering what made me say so... . I have got to get back home, but after I finish writing this. Its pretty difficult, I mean I never feel comfortable in cafes, anyway, I have lot of things in mind..so much is happening around, my life has incredibly changed and so have I.

I am in a bit of hurry. This cafe is pretty dark. DAV is ridiculous yet 'cool'. There is so much bf and gf kinda things here,its fun.

What Sarjana did was...was really interesting. There's a guy T, god damn good looking and has mind blowing personality[according to her].Everytime she sees him around she'd start jumping like anything in excitement. T discovered, obviously he had to, and yesterday approached her. Actually I am skipping few things which happened before yesterday.

T approached her. She was with her friends then[I had left when it all happened] and he walked up to her. "Can I have a word?"

Rest left. Obviously the girls were giggling.[..err..thats my imagination], am surprised Sarjana didn't faint. :P

T: Is it true what A and T told me!

S: YES!

T: I mean...you don't know me, do you? And in fact never knew my name..

S: Love @ first sight. [She was 2 the point, and now I am sure and certain she's mad. Are you reading this...miss??]

T: I don't believe in such things.

S: Your problem! I do.

T: Anyway...well..all I can say is...friends?

They shook hands and they're friends.[She told this to me with utmost zeal] :))

So, this is all which happens everyday here. Pretty interesting. I find. As for myself ...ummmm...next post. Its already too late. Mom will kill me if I don't get back on time.

As for me. Mon to Sat- school. Plus monday alternate maths separate classes and Tuesday alternate Physics. So I am left with Sunday which is litrally free. Still wondering where should I adjust chemistry. 9 days a week could have made things easy. Anyway, I have become a bigtime sucking. I have read some 10-12 novels so far which I hated @ some point of time. Silky is back for two months from dehradun. I met her. Thinner and prettier. Smriti and Priya getting beautiful'ler'. ...Life is a bit busy but cool unlike me.

Would boast something before I conclude: Guess what?? I got two proposals so far. :D:D. I think its like a competition how many proposals do you get...phew...anyway will give a detailed a account of all these 'silly' things next time. Time to leave.

PS: sorry lekhi. next time. You are so cute, sweet, great. please!!:D

Another post-midnight post! [12:45 a.m.] :D

Right now my sis is standing right in front of the mirror and can see she is pretty scaringly[not sure if this word exists] scolding her image since past 20 minutes. Actually she is busy with her debate practice. I think only mad people practise debate at 1am. Anyway, thats boring, I am trying to disturb her by enrique's "love to see you cry!". and and and and and..what else to write...? ummmm..

Yes. Actually I am very stubborn and obstinate type girl.[..and I am boasting? silly me.] This attitude of mine always makes me fall into trouble. I fought with mommy today. :((( I don't know how can I be an obediant and good mamma's daughter. I'll have to work hard on this. By the way, classes are suspended tomorrow, and I don't know why. I think they'll remain suspended this complete week.

How are practical exams and viva taken? My god I never knew it would be so interesting. In my previous school I used to be so apprehensive about viva and practical and here its absolute fun. Boys really do have tremendous sense of humour. I am a actually a product of convent school and now in DAV. So when a friend saw the pic of my ex-school's pricipal in her formal uniform of nuns, he was like -" arre yeh toh gadar waali hai!"

My new school has very relaxing environment. No strict rules for discipline and all, as it was in convent. We have lots of free periods, one can easily bunk classes [btw, i haven't any yet. conclusion: I am good girl], library is good enough for time-pass, every class has almost one gulabo and a group of munna bhai type gang. Munna bhai type must be clear but from gulabo I mean...actually, there is a guy in our class, spherical in structure. Even before the teacher throws the question he jumps up with some answer which never makes sense. He stands with one of his hand bent near his abdomen and palm hanging down..well..due to gravity. It's pretty difficult to explain in words actually. He has approx 10000 doubts in every chapter. He walks like a she-model walking the ramp, what you call cat-walk! That's brief description of gulabo. I know its bad to make fun of somebody, I sometimes feel sorry[yeah, I am saint type] for the poor guy as well, but I bet he never does for hiself. He is actually a chipku type.

OK. leave gulabo aside. It's so much fun here in this school. Teachers are very very very friendly[exceptions exixts]. Two months have gone by and my new friends have discovered a lot a about myself- "Neha, how can you be so careless?" "You are crazy!" "You, IDIOT" I am obliged, I am pretty known here by my virtues, you know.

Papa has been giving long big huge gigantic lectures-"nobody will ever respect you unless you stand on your own feet and all by your own..blah blah..."[I am sure though I don't use wheel chair]. Well the ultimate conclusion of his theories is - Study hard, study study and study else you'll regret later in life." Yaaaaawwwnn!! I am feeling sleepy now. My god I had nothing to write and still I wrote so much? :O

“You know, apka face Kisi se milta hai?” Fifth time. Fifth time somebody told me this in past one month. Can it be a mere co-incidence? I never knew my face is as common as my name itself…

By the way, its past mid-night and after a long time since my net connection has collapsed, I am up at this hour and sitting here typing something. Exams are over. Damn classes once again begin from tomorrow.

...And including them even I have failed to figure out who this ‘kisi’ is, who has this misfortune of having similar face to that of mine. My friends say we sisters have similar looks, so I think we have. Yet it’s obvious those who pointed out aren’t talking about my sister. Okay. It looks like I am making this an issue as alarming as if it’s a case of identification of any terrorist. Fine. Coming over it.

And I have not been able to get over my absent mindedness. My dad asked me to fetch his calculator from the other room. Next, I found myself in the dining room and with the refrigerator’s gate opened, looking for calculator!!

I said my exams just got over. Before my physics exam I was up till 1 am and again woke up at 4 in the morning. I was at my bus stop by 7 and waited for the bus, which turned up. I took my seat and the bus was on its usual way, I found nothing strange till a senior sitting on the adjacent seat fortunately saw me and yelled. “ Nahiiiiiii….BUS ROKIYE”! For a fraction of second school-bus-kidnapped kind of thing flashed in my mind. Bus came to a halt. I was sitting there with a stupid face, completely bewildered. She said in a vigorous tone-“Get town, 11th std has no paper today.” I bet I never had more stupid expression ever, how could I be so reckless? I immediately got down feeling glad-“ Thank God I didn’t land at school, only to make more fun of myself ” and wondering “ how come she remembers 11th ers time-table? I never remembered even my board examination ones” and “three hours of sleep for this?”. Next, I had to seek a rickshawala’s help to my way home. Would you believe it, if I say that it was the first time I was actually traveling alone, on my own. I found it a bit funny.

I’ve something like more than 20-30 new friends [not actually friends though]. I’ve met people with a variety of disposition and some with particularly weird attitude off late. Most of the girls in my tuition use respectful terms like “aap”. Its fine when you talk to your aunt or mom or any senior citizen but it sounds weird if your own batch mates calls you so. When I said, “why don’t you call me “tum”, we belong to same class if I am not wrong.” They hit back-“No, aap sounds good rather pleasing. Don’t you think? No harm.” I gave a confused smile with “okay” wondering the respect I have displayed for people elder to me by “ages”. “Tum” for my elder cousins is very common and yes if I use “Abe, tu, stupid etc” for this elderly responsible citizen of the country particularly, I wonder they’d shoot me by their glances once they ever find me talking in such tones.

… I can go on and on with my silly talks. Actually I still have lots to talk of but I can see its 1 am by now and certainly I have to get up at 5 tomorrow. I’ll be at school tomorrow and I may get to hear – “ Yes. Yes. Got it!!!! You resemble Aishwarya Rai”! No harm in hoping. What say? * blush *

Anyway, guess what winamp is playing. “Ladki badi anjani hai..” of KKHH. I remember the movie was released in late 1999…I was a big girl then, you know.

I guess I need a break! So a post at intervals is just enough for the time being! Let’s not get into the details of why am I not Blogging etc and simply come to my new school. So as said I am a lil’ grown, mark, I said ‘little’ because I have always been a poor kid among my group of GROWN UP friends! [I’ll include Silky in my set too.]

Anyway the fact is DAV has good things about it. First- its co-ed! And second it has a gym! From co-ed all I mean is ‘for a change’ and from gym I don’t mean I have indulged in some body building activity or something! So relax! Btw, is anybody really reading this post? I thought of resuming Blogging chupke se...Nevermind. Let’s not get astray! I was talking of Gym. So I have opted for physical education as the optional subject and the funny thing is that I am now NCC cadet Miss Neha Sinha! AH! Sounds good, no? Advantage of taking physical education is easily scoring marks without much effort and if you’re getting advantage of playing volleyball etc, it’s just icing on the cake!

For the first few days I was like a girl in the land of aliens. Now this only means I had never seen how a co-ed is like! Boys-girls ratio is something like 5:2 in my class! As for my first day experience I can sum up and say “poor me”! I’ll put few interesting incidents to justify this!

But I was extremely surprised to know boys out here are extremely shy! Now even I am shy-ish type girl but unexpectedly they’re far more than me! Now I don’t mean all of them but yes most, otherwise we have spiked hair guys here as well who appears to be fond of shocks, I mean electrical ones! One biggest positive I have found in boys is that they’re not just helpful but extremely helpful. Err…well at least when it comes to helping girls!

Anyway, what happened is, my mom later in the evening came up to me saying I have a cousin brother in my own class whom I had never seen all my life! Now that really made me wonder how big family is of ours! Anyway, she gave a brief description of his! My father and uncle [his father] often meet but we’ve never. Though he knew me because he knew my name but it wasn’t so either way! I thought its good to have a brother in my own class and it would be interesting to meet him. Unfortunately mom had no idea of his name! Now that made it a bit difficult. So I made a guess! Actually there was this guy who from the very first day kept looking at me at intervals during class hours ,always making me uncomfortable. I concluded either something is wrong with me or definitely with him! Now I thought may be he is my so called cousin! Wonder why I always look at every guy as my brother. : P anyway, I managed to reach him when the last bell rang. Surprisingly though the school is said to be co-ed but the rules keeps boys and girls always away from one another! Wonder why girls and boys can’t interact! Anyway, I went up to him after the last bell.

Me- excuse me!

The guy turned back. Eyes wide open as if in shock! [Am I that scary?]

Me-okay....tum Amar uncle ke bete ho kya? [I was a bit nervous, not sure why! perhaps that was the first time I really spoke to some guy face to face]

Now can you guess how he reacted? He actually blushed. Looked at ground! I kept staring him!

He-No.

No, he didn’t say so. He actually shook his head!

I continued!

What? Nahi??? [As if you accept else I’ll shoot you]

Shook his head again and rushed…blushing.

First I was embarrassed of making the wrong guess! Second I was shocked. Do boys blush like this?! I mean this doesn’t suit them at least! ..but mind you he was just too good looking. :P

But the most funny thing is what happened next! He appeard to be some nerdy good looking seeda sada type guy. Okay. my first impression about him. You know what since then[i mean since that day] everytime my eyes scroll the boys side during class hours I am surprised to find him staring me. In morning he enters the class..and one glance at girls side is for sure! The dav ridiculous and frustrating rule is that boys go downstairs during recess and girls have to stay upstairs ! so he'll be the last one two leave the class and will definitely ....you know! This is absolutely funny! ..I barely control my laughter with my new friends always commenting.."look your bhai!" now thats funny!

Anyway, guess I wanted to write something and I did so! Will end up here with mere one incident but there are number of them. I need a break from studies seriously! LIfe is too dull at present. I miss my SJC a lot! Silky is hating life there in dehradoon and so are swasti and ritu in andhra! In mere 3 months how have things changed! anyway..I'll have to wrap this up immediately..actually I have a DATE with calculus today, unfortunately! ;)

PS: now making grammatical mistakes is my virtue!