aap bade hokar kya banoge..??

I slept this afternoon thinking when last I really spoke to my papa about my neighbour's dog rocky and if I have added adipose tissue or how was the last movie nagin which I was watching? Well, my papa is again out of city! Its okay. Work is worship! I fell asleep this afternoon thinking and entered the dreamland. I dreamt I was on a trip to some place out of this patna with my papa and scene is so acutely beautiful. I wonder why did I see two snakes there.My father was pointing it out and me watching two snakes very closely. It was a nice trip..only when my younger sis shook me -"uthti ho ya nahi!?! where did you keep my black pen?" Her God damn assignment!!

anyway, everybody around is too serious regarding their career. It reminds me of my stabilty regarding taking decisions. First time ever when I was asked a question like-"beta, aap bade hokar kya banoge?" My answer would be "cobbler"with a big smug. I had newly learnt the word and I found it extremely funny. Though I had no idea what does a cobbler do.

I was in class three, my elder cousin sis had recently learnt of astronauts! I liked this word again. It was the first day of our class three and we were asked anybody who wants become anything beside engineer and doctor? Many had their answer. I was all silent. Teacher-"any other?". I remember I was the only one in the end with a raised hand in class as high as I could. With a smile she asked "yes?" I stoop up proudly and answered in the tone as if I am on the top of the world with full pride because I knew none would have ever heard of this word. I proudly said it aloud "Astronaut". And I can still remember that teacher was like-"astronaut?" and started laughing and to which the whole class started laughing as well. I was still smiling and prepared my mind to kill my cousin next time on our meeting, what joke did I crack?

I changed my idea again. Not because my class laughed at me but because my cousin sis had been collecting information on computer engineers by then. So India will miss a kalpana chawla in near future. And I was busy announcing-"main badi hokar na, compute engineer banungi!" Then from basket ball player to a doctor to a teacher to....it kept changing! Now when everybody around have already decided in what field they would like to make their career. I am making chits and picking up one..umm...engineering? while my cousin sis has given her medical examination!

So life is running at the speed of light. I never realised I am 10th passed. Only a few days ago I had stepped in this school for the first time and my papa following me. With myself weeping and repeatedly saying- I'll be lost here[I found the school too big and a cross sign at the top of building scared me like anything.] Life from envying friends' pencil boxes and demanding a better one.. to buying stickers.. to my parents' smiling face while watching me first time in saari[in our farewell party]... to myself getting the certificate of 10th passed has been a long way. The first degree...Hmm..I have a long way to go , this is just a beginning after another end. Few days from now new school, new freinds, new environment, new ......everything would be new. aahhh

anyway.anyway. anyway. coming back to life! I have decided what am I aiming for! Hope I'll achieve that, otherwise nevermind I have one door still open for me. Cobbler!! :))

Whatever. I am looking forward to meet my papa, and talk of this lizard which has entered my room. We both used to get these ugly creatures out with a stick jumping all over the walls and the two bravo on prowl.

Things are changing...life is moving on...and I hate being philosiphical ! Let me get over all this and join school and get busy. Kambakht...itni holidays kyun milti hain? Life mein badi tension hai!