my nascent thoughts

ridiculous

2010-07-11T22:50:00.000-07:00

A father passing by his teenage daughter's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was neat and tidy. Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the centre of the pillow. It was addressed "Dad".With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:-

Dear Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you, but I'm leaving home. I had to elope with my new boyfriend Sandy because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you. I've been finding real passion with Sandy and he is so nice to me. I know when you meet him you'll like him too - even with all his piercing, tattoos, and motorcycle clothes. But it's not only the passion Dad, I'm pregnant and Sandy said that he wants me to have the kid and that we can be very happy together. Even though Sandy is much older than me (anyway, 42 isn't so old these days is it?), and has no money, really these things shouldn't stand in the way of our relationship, don't you agree?Sandy has a great CD collection; he already owns a trailer in the wood-sand has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. It's true he has other girlfriends as well but I know he'll be faithful to me in his own way. He wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of my dreams too. Sandy taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and he'll be growing it for us and we'll trade it with our friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Sandy can get better; he sure deserves it!!Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.

Your loving daughter,

Rosie.

At the bottom of the page were the letters "PTO". Hands still trembling, her father turned the sheet, and read:

PS: Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbour's house.I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card that's in my desk centre drawer. Please sign it and call when it is safe for me to come home. I love you!

autowale bhaiyya

2007-01-05T23:24:00.000-08:00

Till I was in 10th, I don’t remember a single day I traveled alone. Okay I am not talking of traveling from India to Afghanistan but like from machua toli to macharhatta. The two Ms are places in Patna. …and my knowledge about different places here was same as that of a three year old’s or you can say worse than that. I mean even if I were kidnapped I could be safely kept in the fifth building to mine’s, I’d be wondering where on earth am I. Basically, I spent half of my day at school and rest at home. Life is different now. I mean I go out alone, that too on my own. It might sound silly but it’s quite an achievement for me. From coaching to everywhere I do the traveling without any known company. It’s interesting.

There is a rush for autos when 100s of students come out of coaching centers. Mostly jumping, skipping, dancing or somehow boys manage to attack autos. The one who are left are the girls or at least I am the last one left anyway unless the autowala with a heart as big as hippopotamus refuse the boys and offers the seats to girls. Yesterday, a person came next to us[me and a friend],-“kaha jana hai madam?” “X road!” “Toh aayi ye na, mera auto aage hai.” My friend-“cool yaar, itni jaldi!great luck, C’mmon.” My detective mind came to play. Kidnapping? :O I mean how can it be so easy, when there are so many passengers still waiting, you are invited as if Rabri devi is your mami. But before I could resist, my friend dragged me, I had no time to explain her. But 15 steps ahead an auto was waiting. We sat. The autowala started, two more boys(students) came, the autowala made them sit on his either side. Another came, he was about to sit next to us when autowala screamed-“ A A A idhar aao bhai! ” …and he sat next to where 3 people were already sitting. For those who’ve never seen what’s an auto is like let me tell you 4 people were sitting on seat which was meant for one.

Both of us exchanged glances. “Whats going on, exactly!” Till the time in the auto there were 6 people. 2 girls sitting comfortably on 3 seats and 3 boys with autowala on a single seat were hanging like guavas from mango tree. Okay, we weren’t dropped at fifth building to mine’s but to exact place where we had to. When we came out and paid the fare, the autowala asked with a pleased smile on his face-“ koi taqleeef nahi hua na madam? Hum sambhaal kar chala rahe the!” He meant he drove minimising the jerks on smooth roads of Patna. I frowned but could not help smiling, -“thank you, bilkul nahi.” The three guavas…err…I mean boys sat finally on 3 different seats and the auto was on its way. We exchanged glances nth time and burst into laughter scaring away the street dog who was comfortably asleep.

Girls do have advantages. Nahi? Well at least this incident made me feel so. Safe and sound I was at home. No I am not obsessed by ‘kidnapping’ but this incident is still fresh in mind.

Anyway…I hope we come across such autowala everyday. :D

Changed scenario

2006-12-27T01:35:00.000-08:00

Love is like a butterfly.
The more you chase it, the more it eludes you.
But if you let it fly, it would come to you when you least expect it.

No no...I am not in love. Relax. I was just looking for something to begin this post. Liked this quote, found it good, so pasted it here.Anyway.

Its been a long time since I stepped into this blog world. Thanks to nitin. Well actually I owe him a lot! Blogging has been quite an experience for me.

And another year is at its verge. 2006 was of okay types. I mean this year was completely different. Everything has changed. I mean my routine was nearly same for past 10 years, and its pretty different now. This was the year of many' firsts' and 'frusts'. First time appeared for board examination. First time discovered what's co-ed is like. First time I was away at some other school, where there were none of my dear pals namely Silky, Smriti, Surabhi , Priya, Jayanti, Sneha. But I have Lekhi here. First time somebody proposed me. [It was this day when I felt ...err...I'm not a kid] First time I rejected my first proposal. :P I don't believe in gf and bf thing! First time I felt good about myself, I mean...forget it.

Well, look how competitive things are. I discovered yesterday my cousin brother has got AIR 1 in NTSE or some competition. Cool. Mindblowing. I am so happy for him& have just received his new year card with wishes-"Aim for the moon"! *wipe off the perspiration* .I hope am not getting competitive at all but these things build a lot of pressure, when you are told look everybody's performing. Papa expects a lott. I am never compared but competitons develop automatically.I just hope I'd fulfill everybody's expectations. kambhakt life mein bott tension hai, yaar! Btw, he won a digi-cam. I am envious, you know. :P Hey I hope amitanshu isn't reading this. If you are, don't take it in negative sense. Mis-understanding is the worst thing, which hampers every relationship. Life wasn't smooth in past few months.I have just overcome some serious problem which is not worth mentioning here.

Something I learnt this year. You just can't make things happen the way you want. Be patient, be your true self, you'll always get the positive output.

Whoa! Am I sounding like someone suffering from OCD or something? Nah! I am in no dilemma. Now while I am typing this I have such a serious expression on my face as if it has been ages since I smiled. anyway anyway anyway. Ab hamara jaane ka time shime ho gaya. Bole toh mere ko jaane ka hai.

Wish you all a VERY VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR, 2007!

......am alive.

2006-12-14T02:00:00.000-08:00

Examination time! Ended up with my chemistry paper[ which I obviously screwed up], and landed here in cc, after a long long time. This time I was asked if I want my net connection back, but I refused. I am still wondering what made me say so... . I have got to get back home, but after I finish writing this. Its pretty difficult, I mean I never feel comfortable in cafes, anyway, I have lot of things in mind..so much is happening around, my life has incredibly changed and so have I.

I am in a bit of hurry. This cafe is pretty dark. DAV is ridiculous yet 'cool'. There is so much bf and gf kinda things here,its fun.

What Sarjana did was...was really interesting. There's a guy T, god damn good looking and has mind blowing personality[according to her].Everytime she sees him around she'd start jumping like anything in excitement. T discovered, obviously he had to, and yesterday approached her. Actually I am skipping few things which happened before yesterday.

T approached her. She was with her friends then[I had left when it all happened] and he walked up to her. "Can I have a word?"

Rest left. Obviously the girls were giggling.[..err..thats my imagination], am surprised Sarjana didn't faint. :P

T: Is it true what A and T told me!

S: YES!

T: I mean...you don't know me, do you? And in fact never knew my name..

S: Love @ first sight. [She was 2 the point, and now I am sure and certain she's mad. Are you reading this...miss??]

T: I don't believe in such things.

S: Your problem! I do.

T: Anyway...well..all I can say is...friends?

They shook hands and they're friends.[She told this to me with utmost zeal] :))

So, this is all which happens everyday here. Pretty interesting. I find. As for myself ...ummmm...next post. Its already too late. Mom will kill me if I don't get back on time.

As for me. Mon to Sat- school. Plus monday alternate maths separate classes and Tuesday alternate Physics. So I am left with Sunday which is litrally free. Still wondering where should I adjust chemistry. 9 days a week could have made things easy. Anyway, I have become a bigtime sucking. I have read some 10-12 novels so far which I hated @ some point of time. Silky is back for two months from dehradun. I met her. Thinner and prettier. Smriti and Priya getting beautiful'ler'. ...Life is a bit busy but cool unlike me.

Would boast something before I conclude: Guess what?? I got two proposals so far. :D:D. I think its like a competition how many proposals do you get...phew...anyway will give a detailed a account of all these 'silly' things next time. Time to leave.

PS: sorry lekhi. next time. You are so cute, sweet, great. please!!:D

title is...pata nai...

2006-09-12T12:26:00.000-07:00

Another post-midnight post! [12:45 a.m.] :D

Right now my sis is standing right in front of the mirror and can see she is pretty scaringly[not sure if this word exists] scolding her image since past 20 minutes. Actually she is busy with her debate practice. I think only mad people practise debate at 1am. Anyway, thats boring, I am trying to disturb her by enrique's "love to see you cry!". and and and and and..what else to write...? ummmm..

Yes. Actually I am very stubborn and obstinate type girl.[..and I am boasting? silly me.] This attitude of mine always makes me fall into trouble. I fought with mommy today. :((( I don't know how can I be an obediant and good mamma's daughter. I'll have to work hard on this. By the way, classes are suspended tomorrow, and I don't know why. I think they'll remain suspended this complete week.

How are practical exams and viva taken? My god I never knew it would be so interesting. In my previous school I used to be so apprehensive about viva and practical and here its absolute fun. Boys really do have tremendous sense of humour. I am a actually a product of convent school and now in DAV. So when a friend saw the pic of my ex-school's pricipal in her formal uniform of nuns, he was like -" arre yeh toh gadar waali hai!"

My new school has very relaxing environment. No strict rules for discipline and all, as it was in convent. We have lots of free periods, one can easily bunk classes [btw, i haven't any yet. conclusion: I am good girl], library is good enough for time-pass, every class has almost one gulabo and a group of munna bhai type gang. Munna bhai type must be clear but from gulabo I mean...actually, there is a guy in our class, spherical in structure. Even before the teacher throws the question he jumps up with some answer which never makes sense. He stands with one of his hand bent near his abdomen and palm hanging down..well..due to gravity. It's pretty difficult to explain in words actually. He has approx 10000 doubts in every chapter. He walks like a she-model walking the ramp, what you call cat-walk! That's brief description of gulabo. I know its bad to make fun of somebody, I sometimes feel sorry[yeah, I am saint type] for the poor guy as well, but I bet he never does for hiself. He is actually a chipku type.

OK. leave gulabo aside. It's so much fun here in this school. Teachers are very very very friendly[exceptions exixts]. Two months have gone by and my new friends have discovered a lot a about myself- "Neha, how can you be so careless?" "You are crazy!" "You, IDIOT" I am obliged, I am pretty known here by my virtues, you know.

Papa has been giving long big huge gigantic lectures-"nobody will ever respect you unless you stand on your own feet and all by your own..blah blah..."[I am sure though I don't use wheel chair]. Well the ultimate conclusion of his theories is - Study hard, study study and study else you'll regret later in life." Yaaaaawwwnn!! I am feeling sleepy now. My god I had nothing to write and still I wrote so much? :O

Presence of 'absent' mind

2006-09-01T06:08:00.000-07:00

“You know, apka face Kisi se milta hai?” Fifth time. Fifth time somebody told me this in past one month. Can it be a mere co-incidence? I never knew my face is as common as my name itself…

By the way, its past mid-night and after a long time since my net connection has collapsed, I am up at this hour and sitting here typing something. Exams are over. Damn classes once again begin from tomorrow.

...And including them even I have failed to figure out who this ‘kisi’ is, who has this misfortune of having similar face to that of mine. My friends say we sisters have similar looks, so I think we have. Yet it’s obvious those who pointed out aren’t talking about my sister. Okay. It looks like I am making this an issue as alarming as if it’s a case of identification of any terrorist. Fine. Coming over it.

And I have not been able to get over my absent mindedness. My dad asked me to fetch his calculator from the other room. Next, I found myself in the dining room and with the refrigerator’s gate opened, looking for calculator!!

I said my exams just got over. Before my physics exam I was up till 1 am and again woke up at 4 in the morning. I was at my bus stop by 7 and waited for the bus, which turned up. I took my seat and the bus was on its usual way, I found nothing strange till a senior sitting on the adjacent seat fortunately saw me and yelled. “ Nahiiiiiii….BUS ROKIYE”! For a fraction of second school-bus-kidnapped kind of thing flashed in my mind. Bus came to a halt. I was sitting there with a stupid face, completely bewildered. She said in a vigorous tone-“Get town, 11th std has no paper today.” I bet I never had more stupid expression ever, how could I be so reckless? I immediately got down feeling glad-“ Thank God I didn’t land at school, only to make more fun of myself ” and wondering “ how come she remembers 11th ers time-table? I never remembered even my board examination ones” and “three hours of sleep for this?”. Next, I had to seek a rickshawala’s help to my way home. Would you believe it, if I say that it was the first time I was actually traveling alone, on my own. I found it a bit funny.

I’ve something like more than 20-30 new friends [not actually friends though]. I’ve met people with a variety of disposition and some with particularly weird attitude off late. Most of the girls in my tuition use respectful terms like “aap”. Its fine when you talk to your aunt or mom or any senior citizen but it sounds weird if your own batch mates calls you so. When I said, “why don’t you call me “tum”, we belong to same class if I am not wrong.” They hit back-“No, aap sounds good rather pleasing. Don’t you think? No harm.” I gave a confused smile with “okay” wondering the respect I have displayed for people elder to me by “ages”. “Tum” for my elder cousins is very common and yes if I use “Abe, tu, stupid etc” for this elderly responsible citizen of the country particularly, I wonder they’d shoot me by their glances once they ever find me talking in such tones.

… I can go on and on with my silly talks. Actually I still have lots to talk of but I can see its 1 am by now and certainly I have to get up at 5 tomorrow. I’ll be at school tomorrow and I may get to hear – “ Yes. Yes. Got it!!!! You resemble Aishwarya Rai”! No harm in hoping. What say? * blush *

Anyway, guess what winamp is playing. “Ladki badi anjani hai..” of KKHH. I remember the movie was released in late 1999…I was a big girl then, you know.

blogging resumes..partially!

2006-08-25T04:05:00.000-07:00

I guess I need a break! So a post at intervals is just enough for the time being! Let’s not get into the details of why am I not Blogging etc and simply come to my new school. So as said I am a lil’ grown, mark, I said ‘little’ because I have always been a poor kid among my group of GROWN UP friends! [I’ll include Silky in my set too.]

Anyway the fact is DAV has good things about it. First- its co-ed! And second it has a gym! From co-ed all I mean is ‘for a change’ and from gym I don’t mean I have indulged in some body building activity or something! So relax! Btw, is anybody really reading this post? I thought of resuming Blogging chupke se...Nevermind. Let’s not get astray! I was talking of Gym. So I have opted for physical education as the optional subject and the funny thing is that I am now NCC cadet Miss Neha Sinha! AH! Sounds good, no? Advantage of taking physical education is easily scoring marks without much effort and if you’re getting advantage of playing volleyball etc, it’s just icing on the cake!

For the first few days I was like a girl in the land of aliens. Now this only means I had never seen how a co-ed is like! Boys-girls ratio is something like 5:2 in my class! As for my first day experience I can sum up and say “poor me”! I’ll put few interesting incidents to justify this!

But I was extremely surprised to know boys out here are extremely shy! Now even I am shy-ish type girl but unexpectedly they’re far more than me! Now I don’t mean all of them but yes most, otherwise we have spiked hair guys here as well who appears to be fond of shocks, I mean electrical ones! One biggest positive I have found in boys is that they’re not just helpful but extremely helpful. Err…well at least when it comes to helping girls!

Anyway, what happened is, my mom later in the evening came up to me saying I have a cousin brother in my own class whom I had never seen all my life! Now that really made me wonder how big family is of ours! Anyway, she gave a brief description of his! My father and uncle [his father] often meet but we’ve never. Though he knew me because he knew my name but it wasn’t so either way! I thought its good to have a brother in my own class and it would be interesting to meet him. Unfortunately mom had no idea of his name! Now that made it a bit difficult. So I made a guess! Actually there was this guy who from the very first day kept looking at me at intervals during class hours ,always making me uncomfortable. I concluded either something is wrong with me or definitely with him! Now I thought may be he is my so called cousin! Wonder why I always look at every guy as my brother. : P anyway, I managed to reach him when the last bell rang. Surprisingly though the school is said to be co-ed but the rules keeps boys and girls always away from one another! Wonder why girls and boys can’t interact! Anyway, I went up to him after the last bell.

Me- excuse me!

The guy turned back. Eyes wide open as if in shock! [Am I that scary?]

Me-okay....tum Amar uncle ke bete ho kya? [I was a bit nervous, not sure why! perhaps that was the first time I really spoke to some guy face to face]

Now can you guess how he reacted? He actually blushed. Looked at ground! I kept staring him!

He-No.

No, he didn’t say so. He actually shook his head!

I continued!

What? Nahi??? [As if you accept else I’ll shoot you]

Shook his head again and rushed…blushing.

First I was embarrassed of making the wrong guess! Second I was shocked. Do boys blush like this?! I mean this doesn’t suit them at least! ..but mind you he was just too good looking. :P

But the most funny thing is what happened next! He appeard to be some nerdy good looking seeda sada type guy. Okay. my first impression about him. You know what since then[i mean since that day] everytime my eyes scroll the boys side during class hours I am surprised to find him staring me. In morning he enters the class..and one glance at girls side is for sure! The dav ridiculous and frustrating rule is that boys go downstairs during recess and girls have to stay upstairs ! so he'll be the last one two leave the class and will definitely ....you know! This is absolutely funny! ..I barely control my laughter with my new friends always commenting.."look your bhai!" now thats funny!

Anyway, guess I wanted to write something and I did so! Will end up here with mere one incident but there are number of them. I need a break from studies seriously! LIfe is too dull at present. I miss my SJC a lot! Silky is hating life there in dehradoon and so are swasti and ritu in andhra! In mere 3 months how have things changed! anyway..I'll have to wrap this up immediately..actually I have a DATE with calculus today, unfortunately! ;)

PS: now making grammatical mistakes is my virtue!

fresh start ...

2006-06-09T18:23:00.000-07:00

Recently I had been orkutting too much and it looks like I am irregular in blogging. Well, I wrote a number of posts but they are still saved as draft.Too personal to be displayed here. In past few days I was in some resigned mood. There are a number of things in life which I want to UNDO, number of things I want to erase from memory. However its not that simple as pressing the delete button or clicking the undo icon! The harder I try to get rid of them the deeper it gets engraved!The human and computer memory!

Anyway, on brighter side , in fact on brightest side, I am in love with my city! I guess its absoultely right time when one can visit us. I mean one don't need summer camps[ okay. I know summer season is over] but to hell with the swimming pools of new patna club and hotel maurya etc.!The roads are perfect place for this. I mean you go out and just have a look, every street looks like another swimming pool! News says a number of people fell in manholes! Vehicles can hardly ply in certaing areas. ..and though a good number of fly overs are being constructed here in the city the negative aspect is all of them are being done simultaneouly..so damaged roads, water logging, slippery groud etc. I mean the sight in 2-3 years will be different I am sure. It will be different place 3-4 years hence but presently things have become so difficult to move out of house.

One more test to go. Few more days , life will be busy thereafter!Ummm.. I am looking forward to challenges ahead! Why do I keep saying so? I need to charge my self every now and then, certain things discourages me but I am an ambitious girl with big dreams and big goals. Challenges are interesting to take up and feels great when you get all kind of support. I mean I may not get what I am aiming for. I may not be what I dream of! ..but no loss in trying! Money always being the last concern, certain things I'd like to prove to certain people who actually prays hard for my failure[yes, there are! ..and I know some.].

All right, looks like my battery isn't working properly! Gets discharged every now and then. 7 o' clock and my sis is asleep. Now I am going to start committing untold attrocities on her. Kick her out of bed and have a fresh start of the day with another fight with her. Aha! thats refreshing! ;)

good morning INDIA

2006-05-28T18:15:00.000-07:00

Good morning post. I don't have any matter to write on but still I'll be writing this one. Lets not complicate things. Life in past few days was dull, dumb and to some extent judgemental. I have been like moron looking at stars, wondering wheredoes sky end, thinking of things and concluded HOW COMPLICATEDTHINGS ARE! I realise today nothing is as such. Khush raho, aish karo. Ummm..whatever. So this morning is a fine one. I was up at 5. My papa pulled me up straight in the morning when I was like-"nahi uthungi, !" disgust. He threatened me that he'll pass on all my chcopie to my sister so I had to wake up to better guard them.

And soon after laeving the bed, brushing my teeth to get back my close up muskan I went straight away to orkut to wake up people. Ummm...arz00n, navdeep,abishake, sunmay, abhi .. whom am i missing!My mom saw me and she was up with another threat-"phir se chipak gayi compooter se!!!" and she had to say leave the place otherwise ...well thats a top secret. Can't reveal the threat. anyway, to impress my mom I am ready after shower by 6:20 and no wonder I am here again writing a post! :D

Nevermind, mummy is not scolding anymore.I had been wondering since my childhood. Why don't I have an elder brother! ..and I have thrown this question on my parents a zillion times.I know I can't be more stupid but I used to envy my friends brothers[elder] when they used to talk of them.At least I wanted somebody who could be like-"aee..tune maara isko, ruk tujhe main abi dekhta hoon." I like this detergent ad where two kids a girl and a boy walking off to school and the girl got her dress dirty because of the ditch etc etc. and somebody who could keep a check if I have any boyfriends or if I really study or ..anything..but I don't have one...whoa ..A brother or a BHAI. sounds filmy? Nevermind, early this morning this thought is lingering around my my mind beacause my cousin brother about whom I had mentioned some months back here, will soon get married. To be honest he's the only close bhaiyya, whom I meet once in two months. grrr..well well, my bua informed me of this that she has been looking for some sundar, susheel kanya for him. Hurray! That means if they'll have kids I'll be bua!! yippee. But don't call me aunty!

KOi tension nahi hai I have this nonsense sis.okay we both share the nonsense part because last time somebody[me] cracked a PJ and this girl fell laughing. From fell here I mean she actually fell from bed and ended up with 5 stitches on her head. I had never seen such sir fad hasi!! So I am back to myself. No tension no worries. Tke it easy. Even if I have some. I will not go into some dilemma and switch on songs like "tanhayi" of dil chahta hai. Waise this is a cool song.

I guess I should end up here and do some study. I have to revise this class 10th syllabus..to get admitted to some good school for 11th and 12th! This is disgusting. I had been up to write a post? damn. but couldn't help. My nascent thought. I like to be the way I am!

waise bi kisi ne kaha hai-"sab moh maya hai". kisi aur ne kaha hai-"morning walk karr aa..gali ke kutte badde cute lagte hai early morning time mein". and kisi..ab kafi logon ne kaha hai kafi kuch...I'll continue with this later. mere bhai ki shadi hai. that means shopping shopping and shopping. hurray!!!

btw, hows my close Up muskan? :D

aap bade hokar kya banoge..??

2006-05-22T06:14:00.000-07:00

I slept this afternoon thinking when last I really spoke to my papa about my neighbour's dog rocky and if I have added adipose tissue or how was the last movie nagin which I was watching? Well, my papa is again out of city! Its okay. Work is worship! I fell asleep this afternoon thinking and entered the dreamland. I dreamt I was on a trip to some place out of this patna with my papa and scene is so acutely beautiful. I wonder why did I see two snakes there.My father was pointing it out and me watching two snakes very closely. It was a nice trip..only when my younger sis shook me -"uthti ho ya nahi!?! where did you keep my black pen?" Her God damn assignment!!

anyway, everybody around is too serious regarding their career. It reminds me of my stabilty regarding taking decisions. First time ever when I was asked a question like-"beta, aap bade hokar kya banoge?" My answer would be "cobbler"with a big smug. I had newly learnt the word and I found it extremely funny. Though I had no idea what does a cobbler do.

I was in class three, my elder cousin sis had recently learnt of astronauts! I liked this word again. It was the first day of our class three and we were asked anybody who wants become anything beside engineer and doctor? Many had their answer. I was all silent. Teacher-"any other?". I remember I was the only one in the end with a raised hand in class as high as I could. With a smile she asked "yes?" I stoop up proudly and answered in the tone as if I am on the top of the world with full pride because I knew none would have ever heard of this word. I proudly said it aloud "Astronaut". And I can still remember that teacher was like-"astronaut?" and started laughing and to which the whole class started laughing as well. I was still smiling and prepared my mind to kill my cousin next time on our meeting, what joke did I crack?

I changed my idea again. Not because my class laughed at me but because my cousin sis had been collecting information on computer engineers by then. So India will miss a kalpana chawla in near future. And I was busy announcing-"main badi hokar na, compute engineer banungi!" Then from basket ball player to a doctor to a teacher to....it kept changing! Now when everybody around have already decided in what field they would like to make their career. I am making chits and picking up one..umm...engineering? while my cousin sis has given her medical examination!

So life is running at the speed of light. I never realised I am 10th passed. Only a few days ago I had stepped in this school for the first time and my papa following me. With myself weeping and repeatedly saying- I'll be lost here[I found the school too big and a cross sign at the top of building scared me like anything.] Life from envying friends' pencil boxes and demanding a better one.. to buying stickers.. to my parents' smiling face while watching me first time in saari[in our farewell party]... to myself getting the certificate of 10th passed has been a long way. The first degree...Hmm..I have a long way to go , this is just a beginning after another end. Few days from now new school, new freinds, new environment, new ......everything would be new. aahhh

anyway.anyway. anyway. coming back to life! I have decided what am I aiming for! Hope I'll achieve that, otherwise nevermind I have one door still open for me. Cobbler!! :))

Whatever. I am looking forward to meet my papa, and talk of this lizard which has entered my room. We both used to get these ugly creatures out with a stick jumping all over the walls and the two bravo on prowl.

Things are changing...life is moving on...and I hate being philosiphical ! Let me get over all this and join school and get busy. Kambakht...itni holidays kyun milti hain? Life mein badi tension hai!

surprise..

2006-05-19T11:42:00.000-07:00

So after effects of result continues. Good as well as bad ones. A friend presently out of city called me up today and was expressing her dissapointment because she wanted one more marks, that would take her figure to the highest of our school this year. She has 95%. Whoa..all this certainly enraged me. I just can't flatter anyone.While she expressed her dissapointment I was like-" oh, I guess I should have jumped from my terrace by now! " ..and she was all silent for a moment. I can be very rude at times. I guess I'll have to get a book on 101 tips to control your anger and follow it strictly. Whats wrong with me? But these girls make me feel as if I am one lilliput in the land of gulivers! aah..fget it.

..and yesterday, I was made to realise how bad I am. A very close friend had some serious complaints(blame)[not regarding marks and its personal ] against me. We argued...and later I had tears in my eyes, something which wasn't since past one year. I don't cry...but it was for the first time ever in my life I had such feeling of bitterness. ..and mom saw this and she instead scolded me. "friends, friends, friends...can you think above and over this?."...I guess all these things happened impulsively, so no offences were meant because no mom would like tears in their child's eyes. I was hurt but then its okay, I realise I am bad. ...so if anyone feels so they can happily leave my company.

relax..I am not getting senti and all. On brighter side my dad was back home yesterday. It makes me feel as if it has been ages since I last saw him. and he was home with a grin on face. "ha ha..kya hua tera beta?" And we all laughed. My dad offered in his tone "kya chahiye?" I jumped up, "will I get something? yippeee :D" and in nanoseconds I hit him back "cellphone!" :D I could see his perspiring face. I made out from his expression, last time when my dad himself paid the phone bill he was asked-"STD bill?"

My mom was laughing and papa frowned. So ultimately it was decided I'll get a surprise!Now I realise 89 is rocking!!! :P but no cell phone for me, I understand it cannot be re-charged every fortnight. So lets see how can my parents surprise me! I'll pray hard for a cellphone, in case I'll have a boyfriend it will make things pretty it easy for me, if we decide things like "bhaag chalein":P

..and weather is absolutely thanda thanda cool cool! It was raining hard today. And things are absolutely fine with Indian team. So, on the whole presently life is cool except for one or two depressing moments. The only worry is about getting admission in a good school because most probably I'll not continue in my own school and then I hope its a co-ed one! :P

Its past twelve, and before my dad pours in to check if lights are still on I should go off to sleep!Winamp is playing "tu jahan" of Salam namaste. umm...Why do I like this song so much!

yeh kaise ho gaya?

2006-05-17T20:30:00.000-07:00

My boards result was out yesterday!I wrote a post yesterday,which vanished! 89.2%! Like always my mom and dad had no complaints, they insisted to be more focussed and come out with better results because I knew they had anticipated somewhere around 92-93% whcih I couldn't do!

I reacted to my result negatively, the moment I saw my marks on screen, but I knew I deserved this because I had wasted a hell lot of time and had to make up in february by waking up all nights!

..and today morning I woke and the first thing I did was to attend to a call waiting, that was of my sir. I knew what would be the next:

Sir: kya hua neha? kitne marks aaye?

Me: umm..89.2%.

Sir: awww...yeh kaise ho gaya?

Yeh kaise ho gaya! Now thats an interesting question. The tone with which the question was put up made sense to me as if marks were reserved for me but still I didn't get. ...and I know my teachers expected much more from me and I couldn't live up to their expectations. All blames to me!

But mind you, I don't care about anybody who don't care about me.There are people to discourage you. I know it was my fault. But I am not the one whom you can force to take up rat poison and say, man, you've 89, why not 90? Whether these marks matter in the long run or not , I have always taken my exams seriously. I know a number of people will certainly be calling me from all over since this news is in newspaper by now that results are out, to bug me and people whom, as I had said, I met before my birth. No matter what people will say,I don't care.

..and I am not dissapointed but I am happy. 89 is good. very good. at least if I would have made it to 90s, I am sure I would continue to neglect my studies. So theres always good behind everything. I am just too glad for my parents have always stood by me. ..and to abhi, who just made my day with a lovely congratulation card and a challenging:P + wonderful message attached. You are the best brother. You seriously encouraged me. Not only after my results but before examination as well.
and this message worked as compose dose for me just before examination:

tu tension mat le nanhi.bina kisi pressure ya tension ke ja.mai jaanta hoon you think of results,but yaad rakh,century ek ek ball khelne se banti hai. so don't rush ahead. b in the present and aram se exam de. take it from tera bhai who has seen al these exams and is just like u-bilkul normal exams hote hai.

Wonder if he's reading this!..and thanks to all those people for the best of luck and wishes and congratulations and encouraging words.. :)

..and I have lots of things to re-build and look back. I'll tell you, I won't dissapoint anybody, anybody who are special to me. whoa..I am chill, all this temper because of the teacher who called up!..and a number of calls still expected. Say whatever you want, it won't discourage me.Scream at the top of your voice, 89? huh?, I'll get this earphone and will be shaking to the tune of any rocking english song. If they feel 89 is like...whatever..you swallow the rat poison, I don't care... :P

mujhe itna gussa kyun aata hai? :O

disgusting :((

2006-05-12T13:42:00.000-07:00

Disgusting. Four days! FOUR DAYS. Even I cannot believe this I was away from net-working for four days. Damn. Damn to this fly over!What the hell!Its absolutely exasperating!huh!

*take a deep breath*

Anyway. It so happened... This stupid idoit rasc*l fly over which is being contructed here ate up all the landline connection of my locality. None can access any landline calls. Thank god we have cell phones[I snatched away my dad's, okay i call him papa]! Otherwise life would have been worse than hell for un-employed people like me!

Why am I feeling as if it has been ages since i was here last! Whoa..I am badly addicted. I rung up Priya this afternoon, I have had enough of patience, and unfortunaly the balance was incredibly un-balanced. She had to call me back. She checked up all mails for me..yeah yeah..she knows my P word. Man, I'll have to change all the passwords now. Thank god I don't have any private males..err..mails. ;)..but a big apology to the girl...for for..well she knows it.

and I had been busy doing many works. Sketching. I made the skecth of the scene outside my window. ..that includes that annoying mammoth machine which is controlled by some trained people. When I do a work I do it with full attention. I would not let my sis speak at all. What was I doing? Looking up..then down[on my paper]..up again and back to paper...again up[to observe more minutely]..and back again. So a man outside my window had been watching me doing this weird excercise. Obviously he could see my face and not my sketching book. He was sitting on the driver's seat and the work was at break I guess. I had been constantly excercising my eyes when I was copying down the machine. ..and the mis-undestanding was...[i guessed] 1.why the hell is she starting me this way since so long. 2.Forget it. must be mad.

I realised this only when my eyes scrolled down from top lining of the window to the scene inside the window of the macine. There was this guy sitting and staring back[at intervals]. When I saw him looking this side, I immediately realised. Shit ..gowd..I simply drew the curtain. Dammit! What would that man be thinking...damn. though i could hardly control my laughter. All this construction work is so close to my home that every work is visible..crystal clear.

I read science reporter. I don't read magzines at all. but I did. I read a number of fictions. I liked them. I was compelled to watch harry potter movies at gun point by my sister. I hate that movie. that character or anything related to it. I don't know but my sis is crazy. We have often fought over this HARRY POTTER movies from the threats to blackmails..everything. Well these fights are quite common. ..but everytime i see this harry potter ..i feel like..like ..like..i don't know. She has watched the movie over and over again. 27 times if she is to be trusted. ridiculous. anyway...supressing all my hatred I saw the 3rd part again. Why did I? I am still looking for an answer! :P

while ago smriti called me. I received the call. I knew whats gonna be her first words.
SMRITI: thank god. kahan thee?? my god..you'll draw me crazy...I felt like slapping u..

ME: like?..i know..chill yaar. meri koi galati nahi hai. yaar..poore area ka down tha. anyway...i sent u a message ..nai mila tere ko?

Smriti: kuch nai. nothing. anyway forget it. more important baat sun. aaj icse reults out honge. @ 12 tonite..

My heart skipped a beat. okay..i never dropped the receiver.

ME: shut up. i said will u jus shut up. kabhi toh achi news diya kar yaar!

and i had to log in immediately to check whats the status. this site says result will be out on 18th may..@ 4pm . Nahiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii...keh toh ki yeh jhooth hai..nahiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

:P:P

fingers crossed.

Okay I am not exaggerating things here. but..its natural i guess. I am not at ll worried about my results. not at all. except sometimes in the morining, sometimes at night sometimes in the afternoon and only...note to all my fellow friends: listen to me..kan+aankh+muh khol kar..if i get good marks well and good..and if i don't ..don't break off the friendship with me. :P:P

On a serious note: to fellow josephites and other icse victims. Check this and this site if you haven't. good luck.

so quickly i am ending my post here. I went through it once. ..tons of errors... i don't have either patience or stamina to re-read it! so patiently bear with me... :D

OH Thats last year's notice...blunder!..can be before 18th..was corrected by smriti. .

todays review..

2006-05-06T10:16:00.000-07:00

10:45 pm. I am all alone in my room. My sis is watching some movie. She is a happy fellow like any other worker because tommorrow is sunday.I haven't taken the dinner yet. Reason is so simple. I don't listen to mommmy and papa is out of station.

It was on the whole a very tiring day. I went out with mom for some shopping business. I have been pissing off my parents with my same usual demand. I want to learn guitar. mummy says no because she knows[she says so] that I'll take interest in it only for a day or two. She has some other reason to convince papa that soon I'll be joining coaching classes and school and whatever and then I won't be able to continue with guitar classes. Papa who at first had no objection to this now finds it better to be quiet on this. neither yes nor no.

I love playing musical instruments. I wanted to learn this violin but thought learning guitar was simpler. I tried to convince them by saying I need just one month class thereafter I'll manage by myself, through e-books on guitar.

Though I just talked to papa short while ago and I hope I'll convince the two. [fingers crossed]

On the whole it was a good day. We went out. One of our relatives visited us. I like meeting people and talking to them and making them realise how stupid I am. Two of my worried friends called up. They were worried because...

Now mom will throw away the dinner if I won't eat. Me going..eat+ let me see what stupid movie is my sister enjoying!Be right back.

I hate green vegetables! Achar rocks.It was some stupid movie. Stupid because I had not heard of the name before. Whatever. So, I was talking of my worried friends. None of them really intended to have those usual arbit talks. All of a sudden so serious? They have to say the only good school which is worthy and has some good reputation is St. Michaels. Else none. They have also to say, it appears that the whole patna is craving for the same school. hamara kya hoga? Well to some extent she was right. But at that time I couldn't give her any reply. I'll have to talk to my papa about this. Will it be better if I continue my high school studies out of the city or state? Decisions are yet to be taken. The other friend is confused. She has not yet been able to make out, what intersts her more, science or economics? How could I help her? I laid before her all my limited knowledge about the two fields and ultimately left it on her. After all she has to decide for herself. Making decisions are tough in life in every sphere.

Sometime back I was writing a diary. I have tried several times but failed to maintain a personal diary. To some extent, some, my blog comes to play. Anyway, I was writing a diary for silky. Difference in our birth dates is only of 20 days and this time none of us had gifted [birthday presents ]the either. We had decided we'll be writing a diary for each other..not full but few pages at least..with some flash back memories of school days. Of 10 years spent in SJC. I am badly missing my school and pals and campus and trees and playground and..thats it. No. not teachers[okay some] or principal. While writng it I recalled some absolutely funny incidents and many things. Chuckling and writing. ..I hope she'll like it. She is in dehradoon right now. I hope things are goin perfectly fine with her. She is too innocent[unlike+like me]. she has never been away from her family in all her life except for those 12 days of Bombay to goa trip of ours. Life away from home and family is a challenge. Nostalgia.I am myself inexperience in this case but can speak of this from my cousins' experience with whom I've been in constant touch.

Anyway..I can go on and on with my talks. I am feeling tired and drowsy. I'll go off to sleep. I saw the guitar in the market. I have spoken to papa. Now none can stop me.

I want some good result. I don't expect much because I don't think I did perfectly well in my examintaion. People on net says, these marks don't count. but here I have many other eyes fixed who are eagerly awaitng my results. Like all my relatives whom I last met before I was born, will call me up on the doomsday.

11:33. I am going to sleep. I guess she is enjoying the movie! I'll have to arrange this bed my self. difficult job :((

PS: i edited the other post because the person had objection..:

out of home not alone...

2006-05-04T12:16:00.000-07:00

It was 6:30. Mummy screamed.

Nehaaaaaaaaaaa.

I looked outside the window and fell back on bed. C'mmon. Its still night. My mom kept screaming at intallments and at last I had to leave bed at 7 am. This is very bad. When I am going off to bed early every night , I am woken up so early as well! *sigh*

Mummy informed me. We are going out today. I have some work to be done. You are not going to delay.

My ears collected the order and eyes caught sight of Mr. Mahajan's family. I felt dissapointed for the family. Anyway, I turned the page and read the prediction for the day which said that today I'll be travelling a lot. This time my eyes too gave attention to mom. "Where are we goin? "

Thats none of your business.

I frowned. Okay. At what time?

Around 1 pm.

Whoa..its so hot ouside and in midday? No reply. she went away.

After taking a shower and having break fast I came back to my room. I opened the Almira where I caught sight of the age old album. It had my parents marriage photographs and mine's when I was a little taller than this CPU lying aside. [ 2 yrs to be precise. as told to me by mummy]

My mom used to lock me up in my room. I was one of the most obstinate and mischievios child of my locality. When left free I would always crawl out of my house. One or two times I had created some bigger issue resulting my mom in tears and my neighbours gathered in our house. Papa and uncle were on their way to make a report about myself being 'gumshuda'.However I was discovered at my best friend/neighbours home. The family was out for vacation. There was nobody except for a 8 year old servant. None had thought of looking for me there but when I wasn't discovered anywhere the last option was also taken care of. I was sitting quite comfortably on the sofa with the remote control in my hand and was enjoying mogli show. I loved that. I like it today as well. and the servant was sitting on the floor, playing with my friend ,pummy's ,toys. My uncle carried me home where everyone was overjoyed to see me back and I was busy plucking out his hair one by one. But I was just wondering why the hell everybody is gazing me this way! How can I? I don't remember a bit of this. This is all what my mom told me 10-20 times trying to make me realise how big a headache I was for everyone!..nevertheless I am as well. :(

It was for the first time I was beaten up by my angry mom. But for the last time as well.*thank god*

Yesterday I went out with my friend surabhi. I robbed my mom's purse and we went out. After coming to a particular place, we both halted and thought for a while, where should we go? That was an intersting question! We are out of our homes with no idea what should we shop. So I bought a CD and some paneer. Then we went to some book store for time pass. Came out and thoought. What next? We decided to give some surprise. So both of broke into Dazy sweets and I asked the man to pack pastries and surabhi some rosogullas. I hate pastries. So after roaming here and there we decided to get back. Back home I handed over the things to mom who was pleased to see some development in this lazy fellow. I gave the rcord of every penny spent and mom wondered when did I become so responsible. My sister was busy gulping down pastries. So shopping is fun. I am learning. Bargaining is tough.I hope I''ll acquire the skills soon!

okay.
I guess enough of bakwass. Coming to present. I have to dress up immediately and get ready otherwise mom will kill me. I know, I know she needs an escort+ a security guard. So I must get in my uniform err casuals soon . Sunscreen lotion. I must not forget. main aa rahi hoon maaa...

Won't it be intersing when 10 years hence I'll read this post and laugh at my stupidity[nothing new] provided no tragedy takes place and I am alive. :P

Got money in pocket?

2006-04-28T11:28:00.000-07:00

I have finally managed to join this community of novel readers. I am too glad to know that the lucky book which I have completed is Pride and Prejudice. So after having read the book[almost], I had been like a stupid announcing and made it clear to my parents:"In my life, ever, if I will marry somebody that would be 'Darcy'." You get that. I know everytime my blabbers are despised by everyone. So they were sitting with stuffed ears and I thought I'd better continue and complete the book.

@ 3:00 am yesterday:

I was lying on my bed. My sis was asleep. Naturally. I was reading the novel. The clock suggesed its 3 ...and I heard some footsteps outside my room. Then there was something more interesting in the book and I ignored the sound outside. In few seconds the door of my room was banged opened. I was almost petrified and I looked in the direction in terror. My dad was standing with his eyes piercing into mine's. He looked at me and I kept looking at him with some [ishhhhh] expression. He looked at me and then at the clock and then again at me and then at the clock again. My mind questioned me "Time kya ho raha hai?"

Papa: Time kya ho raha hai?

I smiled but my faced never expressed the expression. How obstinate I can be!

Papa: I don't get whats the problem with you. Close the book and get off to sleep immediately.

me: Err..okay!

and like an obedient child I went of to sleep dreaming of Darcy. :P

Next morning[today] I woke up and I felt something heavy on my face. I couldn't see anything. I raised my hand and lifted it up. It was the newspaper. Okay this is the way my morning begins everyday. The newspaper is staight away placed on my face. Till that time I had only managed to open one of my eye which read about the same quota issue again. ....my eyes scrolled down. I was glad to know some fly over was being inaugurated in the city. Whew..Patna on road to progress.

I don't read the hindi newspaper not because my standard will fall by doing so. It's only when me and my sis are getting bored and we need some entertainmnet I read the headline aloud which is something of this sort. "Nitish ka chadha para-afsar shahi ko fatkara". "surajbhan aur pappu ko jhatka"..and the cartoon skids with such dialouges as "tohar ghar kahan hai bauuaa?"and the reply "loot-khasot wala barka babu ke daraj mein". :O

Myself and my sister will exchange glances and we'll fall laughing. Perhaps this is the reason why though patna being the native place I still cannot speak a sentence in the native language.

Anyway, skipping all the pages I cheked out what TOI has to fortell about my day[This is the thing I love reading]. Skipping it again I cheked out the sports column where I sympathised with Saurav G and envied Sania. Yes if I was allowed to continue as a basket ball player who knew I'd have challenged Sania's stardom :P.

Anyway the last page I read was the leisure. There was some news that was mind boggling ,at least for me. It was all about getting pocket money! I was almost stunned to know school going kids of 9th grade spends Rs 10,ooo-15,000 monthly !

Some anmol singh of class nine says:

"A guy needs to chill out, doesn't he?And that needs money. I go out with my friends three or four times a week..either to catch a movie or for just eating out. I really like gadgets and own a funky mobile too. I only buy branded clothes. My parents don't monitor my spending, if I ask for more they usually oblige. But it depends on how I perform in stuides and sports. And then, I also save what's left!

..and there were few more. I was almost shocked. I am not against pocket money but spending something like 10,000-15,000 on just freaking out etc is surprising. Well, I guess this amount is many people's monthly salary if I am not wrong. When I asked my parents for pocket money. They simply disagreed . They had always one and same thing to say. Ask what you want and if you don't get then complain, but don't come again asking for pocket money! Which I never did. Anyway, I have got nothing to do with that. But then its shocking. Whoa..21st century! :O I am yet to receive the cultural shock as well!

I can see its already past 12:30 and before my father comes again banging the door and comparing who looks better, the hanging clock or my face, I guess I must go to sleep! Gnite. ;)

'break' dance

2006-04-23T11:20:00.000-07:00

..and in one single statement...my nascent thoughts were missing this page..so blogging starts again..I know I am pretty unpredictable. :D

So the latest in my life is as follows. My time table is something like this. Eating, sleeping, reading novels[seldom], watching movies and listening to the music and as usual downloading songs and sharing files with my friends and surfing and watching some catoon shows [better than those saas bahu shows]. What a life! I am making a note of this and would read it some time hence..."woh bhi kya din the!"

..and I forgot to wish one of my close friend on her birthday. The greatest mistake I could have made. I mean I never ever forgot even the birthdays of my online friends and I forgot hers. She almost killed me on phone by her venomous words when I rang her three days hence only because another friend reminded me. Like a culprit I offered her my head, "kat lo yaar..." drag me to supreme court. I swear I won't commit this crime again ever in my life. Whoa..mind you, forget your own name but don't you dare forget birthdays!

Life is smooth. Things are going fine till date. May is appraoching. Of course. The result of my board examination will be out this May and thereafter life won't be smooth. My sis keeps torturing me with her songs.I am trying to improve my word power by reading this thick book by Norman Lewis. Ok. I have jus read the introduction so far.

One important thing I have learned. Never ever regret in life. Every mistake is a lesson. Don't care about what others will say if you go your own way. Learn from every mistake you make and don't pester yourself uselessly thinking "oh! I should never have said/done so". After all every human being makes mistakes though only fools repeat them. So things are fine.

In this holiday I have turned a bit lazy. Silky will leave on Tuesday. I'll badly miss her. Weather ain't too hot and labourers are working comfortably.

..here ends the crap of the day and so continues the 'break' dance. ;)

PS:Comment moderation was needed so has been allowed.

2006-04-16T11:12:00.000-07:00

I don't know but blogging no more interests me! So I have decided[and will stand by it].... Here ends the nascent thought of neha!

Final break. No dance this time! :P

Don't fall in love

2006-04-14T14:58:00.000-07:00

I had this site bookmarked! I checked it out today, and found this poem pretty interesting. So decided to post it up....

Forte

The quickest way to break your heart, make you depressed and ill,
Is to get tangled up inside; the side effects could kill.
All passion is a waste of time, a deadly game pour vous.
I am your friend, your cher ami, I wouldn't lie to you!

If you must love someone, may I suggest you love yourself!
Just think it through.
You'll never leave and you will find you'll get more rest.
You'll always feel as good as new.
Your freedom is the most important thing, my friend.
You must be strong! You mustn't bend!
Don't talk for hours, don't send flowers, don't write poems,
Don't sing songs and dance beneath the stars that shine above!
Don't fall in love!

Oh, don't do it.

As soon as your heart rules your head, your life is not your own.
It's hell when someone's always there; it's bliss to be alone!
And love of any kind is bad: a dog, a child, a cat.
They take up so much precious time! Now where's the sense in that?

Love takes the wildest heart and makes it tame.
If you're turned on, then just turn off!
Emotions are a thing all great men overcame.
Please don't make this your catastrophe!
Don't get attached to anyone or anything.
There's nothing worse than things that cling!
You'll go to pot, you'll turn to drink, you'll never rest,
You'll end up mad and looking like some poor, demented dove.
Don't fall in love!

Don't fall in love!

I take a break from blogging. How long..I don't know!

Just chill..chill..just chill....

2006-04-09T23:25:00.000-07:00

It is sharp 12 noon.Roads are burning ablaze. Hot dry winds of northern India is piercing through the naked bodies of labourers working nearby. So oblivious of the the perspiring faces,they are damn busy to earn their livlihood.I can imagine the perspiration trickling from their matted hair on to their shoulders and making rivulet down thier sinewy thighs. Streets are almost deserted. Some sugar-cane juice seller is standing on the street anxiously awaiting a customer. The shops are opened where hardly somebody is up with thier lists of things for homely consumption. The rikshaw puller with his worn-out clothes drenched in sweat is asleep on the negligible available space refusing to drive any passer by to his destination. The respective faces of people are dull and pale [no sunscreen lotion]. Herbs are craving for water. The bland and genial bossoms are struggling in scorching heat.

All of a sudden an orb got out of the orbit. A labourer who was continously carrying loads of bricks from one place to the other like a pendulum suddenly fainted. Others took him to shade and watered his face with the warm tap water available. He was made to relax. The work must go on. Others proceeded. The colourful bossoms of trees are deprived of their rhapsodies. The labourer is still in shade.The rikhshaw puller is still asleep. The shopkeepers are swooning. Everybody seems dizzy and tired. The poor people who have no shelter over thier head are resting under the shades of tree craving for some air conditioner. The sky is shimmering and the ruthless sun is conflagranting. The black dogs[without sunscreen lotion] on street are hauling themselves and looking at the cats listlessly.

The labourer woke up and walked back to his fellow mates. The other labour embedded eight heavy bricks on this covered head and the pendulum started swinging. A customer approached the sugarcare-juice seller and he is busy in sqeezing juice. The sophisticated women with sunglasses and sunscreen lotion[thank god she had it] is hurrying home in agility. The rikhshaw puller awoke.

...and so do YOU. It's still April. Not that hot.So Chill.Realx. I am cool........... =)) =))Woh, actually I was trying to test myself. I have never blogged to test my english and look at me I've done this as well. Now don't rush to the wall and strike your head against it.Time pass :D

Sonu Nigam is best but lucky Ali is good as well. So I was listening to this song and I thought how stupid any lyricist can be! He has no answer to any questions. I thought of giving give him some sense. I'll justify that. :D

Song: Kyun chalti hai...

Lyricist:...kaun hai yaar?

Film: Kaho naa pyaar hai ;;)

Q. Kyun chalti hai pawan.....!

A. Due to pressure gradient. :D

Q. Kyun jhoome hai gagan.....!
A. Due to high wind velocity. :D

Q. kyun machalta hai man....!
A. Because you're listening to that stupid idiot himesh rehamiya's song.[I hope I got the spelling correct]

naa tum jaano na hum...
oye, I know. U don't.

Q. Kyun aati hai bahar......!
A. Due to land and sea breeze. :D

Q. Kyun lut ta hai karar....!
A. I understand. Due to examination tension. :D

Q. Kyun hota hai pyaar....!
A. *wink wink* unlike poles attract? :D

naa tum jaano na hum...
I know I Know I KNOW... :-w

Q. Kyun gum hai har disha.....!
A. Due to dense fog, mist and smog. :D

Q.Kyun hota hai nashaa....!
A. You drunkard! X-(

Q. Kyun aata hai mazaa....!
A. Because exams are over now. :D

naa tum jaano na hum...
Oye. I know it yaar. why don't you get it !!!

Q. Kyun milti hai nazar....!
A. Because you don't have any eye defect. :D

Q.kyun hota hai asar....!
A. asar? what asar...question over ruled. Be more specific :D

Q. kyun hoti hai 'sahal'..!
A. what's the word? sahal? I didn't get it. anybody knows?

naa tum jaano na hum...
now somebody has a pistol???

:P:P

Now you know how foolish this lyricist is. right? :P

By the time you think what's 'sahal' , I'll go and check out if any other labourer has fainted or not. :P:P

Conclusion: Neha is mad. I know. You don't have to tell me. I am tired of this. *rolls my eyes*

..revolution :D

2006-04-08T07:57:00.000-07:00

There three big problems with scorpions[provided you've minutest of belief in astrology].
1.Jealous
2.fanatacal
3.vindictive

Unfortunately,it's very true in my case. However hard I try I can't do away with these but yes I've suceeded much as far as the foremost point is concerned. As usual there aren't any happenings to blog about, so I thought this is the best time I can make use of to do some thinking about my own self.

Like everybody[ most probabably] there are two things I want :
1.To make everybody around me happy.
2.To be happy.

The latter is only possible if I suceed in the former. Again it's not possible unless and until you can keep or make everybody happy at the same time. So I thought I'll turn a bit selfish and will think of none other than myself and some close people whom I really care for. From this I don't mean I'll turn oblivious towards others but I can't spent kilo-calories of energy thinking about everybody. It's never reflected on my face but even the minutest of things hurts me a lot and according my disposition I'll end up having severe headache for a reason I am unaware of! So be happy, stay happy. There's nothing in your life that's more important than your own self which should really give you tensions and worries and consumes your time and enery ultimately giving no positive result.Whether I am trying to preach myself console myself or whatever I've no idea. This is the way I am and this the way I'll be. I am happy and you cannot hurt me. You cannot make me go the way you want. I'll do what I think is good for me with a little bit of guidance. I might sound selfish. I might sound rude. You cannot help it. Accept me as I am or you don't. I'll be happy ever and forever. I don't expect anything from you and so do you. :)

.... I guess enough of lecture to myself, but to do away with any tensions I simply walk to my mirror[not to confirm I've scary look ] and I talk to myself. It works. It has helped me a lot.

The present gap is the most torturing time for all of us. Everyone[10th ers] are pissed off like anything. Spending hours at pc, near the idiot box and doing things just to pass out time is as boring as hell could be! For me to utilize time in constructive work is as difficult as to solve the kashmir problem. Nevertheless you can try. So I thought I am going to bring out some revolution in myself otherwise I'll fall in some serious trouble in near future.

1. To talk sense and stop my non sense.

The Bihar's government has changed, Indian cricket team is winning matches, fly overs and traffic lights are being put up here at Patna, Manmohan singh has started giving speech without the reference written paper but I am same blabber since past 16 years. Nevermind people do change and so will I. keep trying.

2. To read books and novels.

I am as impatient as ...well...myself. Though I must confess I got some good advice by him on his post, When I start reading any stuff my superactive mind starts running 10 steps ahead. Even before the writer will introduce the mystry my brain starts looking for the soultion! I can't help it. Till date I've only read two books and that of none other than "hardy boys" only because my sis had challenged me that I can't do it. These days I'm reading da-vinci code.Thanks to him. It's a good book but I am sure I'll complete it on the very day India will be declared a developed nation.

3. To control my emotions.

This is the second point about scorpions I mentioned above. I get over enthusiastic about anything. Either too happy or too depressed. Like extremists and unlike moderates I have extremes of nature. I'll try to keep my cool.

4. Cut of the online visting hours to just an hour or two per day.

Can mallika start wearning salwar suits? Can Indian hockey team win matches? Can Indian soccer team win the soccer world cup? Can atal Bihari vajpayee ji give speeches without a single pause, in one breath?.....so what? nothing is impossible. I'll try this out. :D

5. I'll not watch cricket match.

You think I've gone mad? Well you don't have to, I am since birth. Now since four points weren't looking good to end up with I thought of making it to five. So, don't you dare think I am going to stop watching cricket matches. :D

...so there are two kinds of people on this earth. One who just makes plans and the other who makes them and follow them. Like anybody I'd like to fall in the latter category so wish me luck. :D

Now because I cannot always make everybody happy by putting up another crazy stuff I thought to turn out a bit selfish and to write a crazy stuff for myself! :P

now I am too lazy to reread my post and edit..so pardon me for the mishtooks..

xyz...

2006-04-03T12:15:00.000-07:00

12:45 am and I am not yet asleep. Cool breeze is blowing outside after the hot scorching day today. Artificial mediums do give comfort but natural cool breeze is always soothing! My grandpa is strictly against these mediums and has always been telling me to enjoy the breeze at terrace at least, if you cannot intake those fresh soothing air of a village, everytime he pays a visit.

My sis is asleep. Her school is reopening tommorrow. Now I am wondering what the hell am I going to do in her absence at home! I was sitting by my window and was very minutely trying to observe the ongoing fly over construction near my home. My sis came to me and ended up with her face very close to mine's with a weird expression. I looked back at her with my eyebrows raised. She went back and continued her work of covering the books. She came back again to me and gazed me with same expression and then again went back and continued the same job. Then all of a sudden she began to laugh! Now that was the limit. I had to ask.

"Have you gone mad?"

"me? I thought it's the case with you. I was wondering you've no intersting story to come up with. How can you be so silent!"

..and such are the funny acts with which everyone has to tease me.

I don't know but for the past one month around a guy who choose to call himself "rajiv" is after me like anything. I have declared hundred times I don't have any boyfriends and I've never talked to a guy face to face though I've met many. This guy is the limit. He makes following confessions when I dared to ask:

who's there?Kaun bol raha?

rajiv.

kaun rajiv.

yaad karo..

what rubbish is this?

yaad karo..hum mile the.

Hello? excuse me. kya kaam hai aapko?

kaam toh bahot hai..

..and the phone was banged.

I wonder such guys have nothing better to do. He knows my dad by his profession and these days he's not just calling at my place but to that of neighbour's looking for my father saying he cannot contact our place because the phones aren't working! Surprised and shocked. I am damn sure it's some local gunda doing all this rubbish. I wonder if it'll become a police case. Whatever, we are safe. Hopefully. Trust me life of a girl ain't easy in many respect.

Forget it. I am looking forward to meet some of cousins. My five year old cousin sis and a year old cousion brother will be paying a visit very soon. My cousin who had been preparing for her med-exams is also coming tommorrw.. err...today!I am eagerly looking forward to meet them. Small kids are the best company to be with. At least all that while I'll be a mute listener to their sweet conversations. They are just lovely.

My beloved friend silky will be very soon leaving for dehradoon for her senior secondry studies. I am still unable to take this up, how we are all parting away. Only a few days ago we were careless school going students and now it seems all are moving apne apne raste. I will miss you a lot yaar. I can bet I can never have a better friend as you've been. Stay in touch wherever you are! I know two more years and there would be a complete change of scenario. I fear if we'll meet with those formalities "hey, Hows life of yours?" condracting to presents informalities and carelessness and a loving and caring company! 10 years is not a small phase and friends like this will not be everywhere. There are some feelings which stays in your heart and you cannot express. At present I don't know but I am still wondering....but the crystal fails to forecast where life will take me!

Anyway I guess these days I am thinking too much! Life is beautiful I know. It's a suspense! I love it...

I haven't gone throgh what I've said above but-"keh diya, toh bas keh diya"!...and I must hope appu shouldn't wonder if I really do get time to think so much which is never reflected in my personality!

The song-"tu jahan" by sonu nigam of salam namaste is wonderful and right now winamp is playing the same.

It's 1:10, I guess I must go to sleep!..gnite...btw, breeze is wonderful!

Neha and Pandora

2006-03-30T04:14:00.000-08:00

Neha and Pandora were sitting together yesterday night and had this conversation:

Pandora : Ha..life on net is beautiful. You make so many friends, you engage yourself in so many creativities. There are so many who appreciate you. You get opportunity to meet people from different backgrounds.You get to understand human psyche specially when you've very narrow idea about the real world outside. You get opportunity to debate and what not! It becomes like a family and it's great. Isn't it?

Neha : I know and I won't disagree to it as well. I know you're liking it. I know it has almost become a part of your life. But think for a while. Aren't you giving more priority[time] to world wide web than your family? Your mother wants to talk to you but you are busy in your own world. Your father has objected quite often and asked you to reduce the hours spent here but you are taking advantage of the liberties you've been given. Your sister would like to share some jokes with you and you selfish girl has to think of nothing but yourself!

Pandora : Yeah. You've the point but what are you trying to say? You mean I should stop this! I should remove my identity from here, from the world of internet! You think that's possible? You're doing the blogging business and everytime you're learning something new. Aren't you?

Neha : I am and I never said I should stop this networking business. Think again everything in life looks good when they're in limit! You were so busy during exams and now sitting and killing mosquitoes like an unemployed Indian! Involve yourself in something better. Continue everything but don't lose your real self. Don't forget you're Neha first and then Pandora. Read books. Write poems. Have fun. Do everything, but in limit. Don't forget you've a family. You need them and they need you. You cannot afford to neglect them. Can you?

[Pandora was lost. She was thinking, and she realised that Neha was lost in Pandora.]

Pandora : All right. You want me to leave ? I'll do so. I need a vacation. I am going but mind you I'll come back whenever I want. Till then take your identity. You are Neha. NEHA. :)

Neha : Sure, you can comeback anytime. I am glad that you agree with me. :)

...and this was the conversation of Neha and Pandora. You may miss Pandora but Neha wants her identity. She wants to be her own real self. At least for sometime!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So after a long time in fact for the first time, I went out to my friends house where so many of us[myself,Apurwa, Shagun, Jayanti, Gargi, Shruti] gathered at Onam's place. I had lots of fun and masti. It was all pre-planned. And I was talking of this visit as the upcoming 'interesting' thing in my last post. After long long time we met. Ah, and I was extremely happy. So at 12:00 noon I was at her place and everybody were already there except the two late comers[Jayanti, Shruti]. We had pretty long chit chatting like innocent sweet girls all the time aunty[Onam's mom] was around. The moment she left we had the change of topic like a bit less innocent sweet girls ;). Guys form the main part of our conversation though! :D

So at the dining table we all sat for our lunch and aunty served us those deliciously cooked meals. It was only then the two late comers arrived. We had our lunch and all through none of us were quiet. Every now and then somebody had to crack a joke at which we almost fell. Though aunty was a wonderful company to be with!

The music system was roaring and after having stomach full lunch we decided to tap our feet to the beat. Tap?..ha! we shook the building. Now I don't remember when last time I had danced but this time we were all in full fledge. Hairs all open and everybody danced crazily. That was super fun we had. I loved it.

All tired and we sat to relax a bit. It was then when some unplanned heated up debate took place. Topic? It started from co-ed schools to conservative families to boyfriends to 'falling in love'! Someone had to raise a point and the other tried to cut it off and the former would justify it. The number of cases to which we were eye-witness were put before where somebody ran away with her driver and some with her cook etc. Questions were raised how mind gets diverted and some infinite questions. I thought everybody actively participated except Shagun who had to yawn! :P

From MMS cases to school going girls ending up at gynaecologists , falling in love, rising in love etc etc! The moment I felt things are pretty heated up, I started singing a tune of a song and ended up saying-"pyaar kiya nahi jaata...bas ho jaata hai" ! A momentory silence but the environment cooled and I gladly gathered Apurwa's "wah wah wah". So the long pointless or may be not conversation ultimately ended up. When our aunty had to say mockingly to her darling Onam-"Iski shaadi jaldi kar deni hogi, kya pata kab kiske saath bhaag jaye"! We all fell laughing and teasing her.

Anyway...it was evening and was time for us to say goodbye. We left but after a long time I guess I really enjoyed otherwise I was pissed off at home like anything. A busy and purposeful life is much much better, I feel!

...and the girl pissing you off isn't Pandora, it's Neha! :P

propose a girl....ishhhh

2006-03-28T13:59:00.000-08:00

For the past two days I was busy!Busy doing some interesting chat with some [interesting] people! I find this girlfriend - boyfriend problem everywhere! ha..Why do people fall in love if it's such a tension imparting thing.Whatever.

I was saying that the chatting begins with the enquiry of my future plans and then ending up to whether I have any boyfriends. Now I am tired of answering this question. I don't have any and I don't want to make any either. Simple funda implies here-stay single and simple! I have never imagined what a co-ed school is like and how are the guys actually! So far I've found most of them flirtuous[ like myself :P]! This is my experience on net. :D

Two more months I'll be ending up in some co-ed school where I expect the percentage of boys will be more than girls. This implies that they'll be dominant! A complete change of scenario for we josephites! Anyway...

I was talking about busy neha. :D

..so this is a part of chat I had with this guy, I'll not disclose who this person is!

***** ***** (3/27/2006 5:13:54 PM): but this is onesided love

neha_sinha44 (3/27/2006 5:14:14 PM): oh!...so sad...how do u know btw...!!

neha_sinha44 (3/27/2006 5:14:16 PM): that its one sided

***** *****(3/27/2006 5:14:51 PM): yeah

***** *****(3/27/2006 5:16:07 PM): meri kabhi himmat nahi hui usse bolne ki[I never had the courage to propose her]

neha_sinha44 (3/27/2006 5:17:43 PM): hmmm...mauka dekh kar bol daalo...arre bilkul positive result aayega...and even if nahi aaya toh kya....u cannot live with same "HOPE" always naa....aage bado..look for better ;) [ propose her at the rite time ..you'll get the positive result..even if you don't you cannot live with the same "HOPE" always ...move ahead and look for somebody better]

***** *****(3/27/2006 5:18:49 PM): darr lagta hai kahi thappad na pad jaye[I am afraid if I'll be slapped me]

neha_sinha44 (3/27/2006 5:19:33 PM): oye...thoda cool style mein propose karo naa...thappad ka sawal hi nahi hota agar sensible ladki hai toh ! :P

***** *****(3/27/2006 5:20:21 PM): ok i will try

neha_sinha44 (3/27/2006 5:20:55 PM): will ya?

neha_sinha44 (3/27/2006 5:21:00 PM): best of luck

neha_sinha44 (3/27/2006 5:21:11 PM): aapki manokamna purn ho. :D

All right so this is what idle neha is doing these days ;)!
[@my gang: request hai, don't be after me for this! ]

I just had some increased general knowledge. Don't ask me what is it actually![Priya you know it well ;)]

By the way I wrote this post because I wanted to share this which I just saw on orkut:-
You'll get this computer program even if you're an economics student. Read this and have fun :D

/* Program to Propose a girl */

#include

#include

#define Cute beautiful_lady

main()

{

goto college;

scanf("100%",&ladies);

if(lady ==Cute)

line++;

while( !reply )

{

printf("I Love U");

scanf("100%",&reply);

}

if(reply == "GAALI")

main();

/* go back and repeat the process */

else if(reply == "SANDAL ")

exit(1);

else if(reply == "I Love U")

{

lover =Cute ;

love = (heart*)

malloc(sizeof(lover));

}
goto restaurant;

restaurant:{food++;smile++;pay->money = lover->money;return(college);

}
if(time==2.30)

goto cinema;

cinema:

{watch++;

if(intermission)

{coke++;Popecorn++;

}

}

if(time ==6.00)

goto park;

}

all right so I have no couselling centre on Y messenger about [how to impress+propose a girl]...and I am enjoying this! ;)

PS: So I'll be busy for the next few days, something interesting is coming up...and I am pretty excited! Not this chatting business!!

Note:The above post was meant to have fun[provided you had it], it's never written to hurt somebody's sentiments! So, please spare me and don't blame me that I am wasting mine as well as yours time!

...and I wonder what the hell am I doing here at my PC at four in the morning! damn! :O ..gnite..yaaawn..excuse me!

....It's all about "HUM" and "TUM"

2006-03-26T22:00:00.000-08:00

I was at my cousins place for past two days. We had some stupendous time out there. We had lots to talk to, lots to do! We talked everything like "of shoes-and ships-and- sealing- wax, Of cabbages and kings; And why the sea is boling hot-And whether the pigs have wings!" All I want to say is it was a mere chit chat and nothing else! We saw the photographs of our cousins[other] who're offshore...and I thought how much this "I" ego is prevalent. Who thinks of "WE"?...

..and I read this....

"YOU say that our government is inefficient. YOU say that our laws are too old. YOU say that the municipality does not pick up the garbage. YOU say that phones don't work. The railways are a joke. The airlines are the worst in the world. Mails never reach their destinations. YOU say that our country has gone to the dots and is absolute pits. YOU say, say and say.

What do YOU do about it ?

Take a person on his way to Singapore. Give him a name-YOURS. And a face YOURS.

YOU walk out of the airport and you are at your international best.In Singapore, YOU don't throw cigarette butts on the roads.

YOU wouldn't dare to buy an employee of the telephone exchange in London at 10 pounds(Rs 650) a month to "see to it that my STD and ISD calls are billed to someone else."

YOU would not dare to speed beyond 88 kmph in Washington and then tell the traffic cop,"Jaanta hai saala main kaun hoon?(Do you know who I am?).I am so and so's son. Take your two bucks and get lost."

Why don't YOU spit paan on the streets of Tokyo? Why don't YOU buy fake certificates in Boston?

WE are still talking of the same YOU. YOU who can respect and confirm to a foreign system in other countries but cannot in your own.YOU, who will throw papers and cigarettes on the roads the moment you touch Indian ground.

If you can be invoved and appreciative citizen in alien country, why cannot you be the same here in India? "

Jessica lall. Everyday newspaper has the full coverage on "justice to Jessica"! The way public is united it's a great thing! ...but what about the other thousands of jessicas who aren't a renowned model but have been a victim in a more barbaric way!...Why are we asleep? Why do we have to say "yaar, this is world. You cannot change it."

Can't we...?..May be this "I" factor is prevalent! Who cares about "we". May be America. Aurtralia, England are developed, who cares if India remains the same developing nation. May be another 50 years passes by who cares India remains the same developing nation! May be .....who cares...." I am happy and why should I waste my time ".

May be you say "ha, what the hell this 16 year old girl will say".....

....if you boast to be the proud youths of our country....can you tell me "What do YOU do for your country" and I include myself in this You. I am no exception.

I wrote this not just for sake of writing a post but all I can say is that it justifies my blog title. I read this...you'll read this..may be you'll reflect for a while or may be not and then all of us will be back to "I".

....and India was. India is. and India will be? a developing nation!

get up now...subah ho gayi mamoooo :))

keys....

2006-03-25T01:35:00.000-08:00

I wrote a long post on my farewell party and it's all gone. Thanks to this low server! If somebody would have given me a licensed pistol I would have shot my pc then and there. These days every petty things enrages me. I wonder what's wrong with me?

To realax and chillax I opened this jet audio and I am listening to songs and was looking at the photographs of bombay to goa trip of ours! We had this trip some two years back when I spent some quality time with my friends. I came across the photograph of the backyard of the goan hotel and it reminded of an incident.
It was a three starer hotel and so four of us were in the same room. The fifth one of our famous five group[we are five best friends] was missing. After a tiring but refreshing travel we were back to our hotel.We were waiting outside our room were completely exhausted. The conversation followed:

Smriti- Silky give the keys and get the door opened. Quick. I'll fall down here.

Silky had a weird expression on her face!

Keys? Which key? I have no keys!

Smriti: Stop kidding you.

Silky: oye..

Me: Priya? you have it?

Priya: Me? I never took it. I saw gave it to you naa..

After this the exhausted four came back to senses!

Hold on!Where's the key? What the hell happening...

We went back to reception hoping we'd submitted the keys there before leaving!

Can we please have the keys of room number one nought two[yeah,I do remember the room number]!

sure..

he went back and after a shortwhile returned.

I'm sorry but the keys aren't here!

We looked at each other in surprise. What??

I enquired: are you sure?

..and there was no positive reply.

errr...okay. We went back to our room rather the door! Thinking in series what we did,where we went,what we kept, where we kept just before leaving. Something struck Priya.

I got it ! Keys are inside. Credit to Silky.

What? me. She recalled and realised that in hurry she'd left the keys in there, on the table itself !Of course we never needed the keys to lock the room.

Now if our teacher accompanying us would ever had this idea of our carelessness, I guess we would have had sleepless night. We could manage a duplicate key from the reception but complaint was obvious. So I thought of something clever...ya ya sometimes I do or better say in such situations in doing some mischiefs my brain becomes superactive.

What I suggested:

Our room was on the groundfloor. The verandah faced the backyard of hotel. I remebered we left the back door opened though we weren't very sure. We rushed back to that part of the hotel and we saw a small garden not actually a garden though but a small fenced area and then a bit higher up was the railing of our verandah.

I gave the idea and Priya suggested somebody to cross the fence and climb up the railing!

Now none of us was ready for this. Smriti had to say it's better to borrow the bedsheets and yehi bistar lagaa dein? ;)

...short controversy but as usual I was the escape goat. :(

I jumped over the fence. Walked through that grassy area wondering what if any insect bites me! Yeah I fear insects even grasshopers! Holding the railing I pulled myself up and in a minute I was in the verandah..

yipeeeee

now like a Mumbai's underworld don I said "kaam ho gaya" :P

Door was opened. We were in. Everybody realxed and we wondered that cruel teacher humse kya kya na karayein...

PS:Okay I am suked up here at home and 2 din se sab ka sir kha rakhi hoon. Being in the same city I haven't met my cousins since long time and so in a short while I'll leave! :)

Happy Independence Day.....

2006-03-22T01:58:00.000-08:00

How was Nelson Mandela feeling after he was released from 27 years(if i am not wrong) of imprisonment? How was Veer feeling when he met Zara baiis(22) saal baad?....ummm...no more examples coming to mind...all I wanted to say is I am freeeee!!.....aazad.....................boards over...yipeeeeeeee!!

I can't believe it was only shortwhile ago I was so much worried about my exams and the much awaited day 22nd march is here! So all through these days I was as busy as George Bush considering the fact whether you believe or not but I actually started my studies seriously towards the end of January! Never ever in my academic life I was so careless. Thanks to this internet and world wide web.

Still I think I have done pretty well but what does this pretty stands for, I'll let you know in May. So a humble request to all of you DO NOT enquire about this exhausting board examination!

Anyway forget it! I have lot's to put up here before I forget them. So I'll be putting up some of the flash back memories of these past 3 months.....

and one thing more:-
hearty congratulations to my dear dear deer smiiirrtii (smriti) for winning the crown of miss SJC 2006 on the farewell party eve. (PS @ abhi:- guess what was written on the trophy which she was awarded...'smirti'...haha :D )
though i'll be putting up the details of farewell party of josephites in saari in flash back 1.

...lot's have to be done but me back to business. It's better one than that of Mittal's....business of blogging :D

btw, India lost to England :(

anyway..how happy i am?...so much..... as the pic shows! :D

Shhhhhhhh

2006-02-08T20:04:00.000-08:00

Life mein badi tension hai. Now don't ask me why I am not visiting blogs or not updating mine's. Simply I have had enough of fun and I wouldn't like to continue else I am going to blabber all about my blogging experience and chatting lingo in my examination paper. So I had decided that it would be better if I continue my writing practise through pen rather keyboard. "pen is mightier than keys" :

Ok. I am not exaggarating things, I mean my examination. Pehli pehli baar hai....so nervousness is obvious! :P

So I am even not going to put up my blabbers or put up any Idiotic long post. I wish......well I wish many things but all wishes don't come true :((((
Wasted my january as well! how could I afford to be so careless. Anyway no time for repents, I have to make up! I need to concentrate just one thing at present i.e. U know.

I'll take a break and just wanted to thank all those great souls for appreciating my blabbers posted here and leaving the offline messages. :D...ahaaaa....great :D

Ok then I'll be back again on march 22nd[ending up with my exams then]. Our independence day! But You people aren't going to understand my miserable plight. Imagine Indo/Pak cricket match and I have to miss my crush :P

All right then. So what do I expect of you? that stop laughing on my haal! better pray that I get through this comfortably and get back to blogging ways with a frolicking post and not the one which would need condolences :P

anyways.....
neha is studying and silence please..........shhhhhhhh

it hurts...

2006-01-18T22:31:00.000-08:00

This is very bad. Absolutely disgusting. Somebody confides in you and you without giving a single thought ,go and reveal the secret or the fact which you don't want to share with everyone to not just one but three. :O Now this hurts and I am absolutely disgusted by her freakish act. I mean why do people have such appetite and do not digest things? Why can't they keep things to themselves? Now that makes me think whom should I trust! Absolutely exasperating. I am feeling so sorry for myself. Now that I'll be hesitant to share anything with anybody! Ok. relax...

It so happened that I chose to discuss or tell something [which I don't choose to share here] to a very good friend of mine. Well no doubt I trust her a lot and even she trusted me as well. However I am absolutely depressed at her silly idiotic act. I mean if she was the confidant,how could she ever do this? how? I am not sure if she did it willingly. May be it was her carelessness but then you cannot be such irresposible at all. If you choose to share something with someone and not with everyone and unfortunately it passes to out to somebody who will add spices to it and make things appear as such which would surprise yourself !I I mean never in the wildest of my dreams had I thought of sharing this thing with the other person who is now known to the fact. Simple because I cannot trust her anyway, who keeps making false speeches that you are the best or something or whatever and at the back criticises you. I hate flaterrers and Hypocrites! Hope she[other girl] get that. I was shocked when the other girl made the call to me enquiring!

Ok. things done are done. It is not disturbing that the secret is divulged. It's not that big thing but which has hurt me is that her act of stupidity. I have lost my trust in her! It hurts. it does.Someone whom I trusted so much !! You can never afford to be such careless. That is genuinely freakish. Ridiculous.Whom should one trust? Myself? how sad it is.

Well don't know what I have written above but right now I am quite enraged and have posted it just impulsively to let out "bheje ki steam" !!

Wanna get pissed? Then read through...

2006-01-12T09:30:00.000-08:00

Long time but no posts! I know. I think it'll continue for some days to come.Sigh! there are no happenings around which I can really put up. Monotonous days. No school. No friendz & these dayz no net as well. Get up early.

Mummy will say-"Beta serious nahi ho,padhai kar lo."

Papa-"Kitna portion complete hua?"

Me-"errr..........

Papa-"Physics ?Maths?"

Me-"errrr.........

Papa-"Time kam hai."

Everybody calling up."Neha is baar boards degi naa?"This boards is a real monster,scary and neha is frustrated.I indulge in net,I can't concentrate and if I choose to spend some time with books I get bored reading about India's Independence, temperature and requirements of crops, soil, functions, computer programs, chemical equations, physics numericals.....! AAh too heavy a load for me. I guess our physics teacher said so rightly-"You people actually don't live,you take 20-22 years of your life to learn or train yourself to live and then live" !!

Even my sis is not discluded. These days she is on me like my shadow itself :(( .She won't allow me to make any calls to any of my friends. No chatting, no surfing."padho!"Hold it! She is younger sis of mine. Thanks to the liberties given by me :P . I know I am not one of those who commit atrocities on their younger sibblings. In fact the case is reverse here :P:P Anyways, I know she is more responsible than me :(

Monotonous. Boring. No fun. It sucks. Life is.....well....lets be practical. right?

Practical! Arre haan. we had chemistry practical today. I mean I am not sure how many such chem. practicals I have given till date but I am sure I have not managed more than this score-5/15. All rite. nothing to laugh at. I did it :D This was the final practicals of boards or preboards! I mean all of us damn confused. Whatever. I made the right observation this time. :D Ammonium chloride and I did it. fully correct. Hurrayyy :P

ok. forget it.

It was a lovely day because I met my school friends after quite a long time. Hugs, hugs,Hugs!!:D

Ah by the way...guess what? My bhaiyya paid a visit yesterday and greeted me with a complement at first sight-"moti ho gayi ho" !!

I was about to take my place and i stood up -WHAT!! :O

:)))

After so many months I saw him and was too excited again. Gowd! as usual I lost control over myself. I had lots of things to tell him and I started:-

Kab aaye?

kal!

acha..pata hai ..............

All right. Now you can imagine I completely pissed him off .My bak bak was interrupted by the ringtone of his cell. I left the room for a while. So finished with his talk he did not find me around. Taking the advantage of my absense he stood up and told my mummy-"maami abhi chalta hoon, baad mein aaonga"!!

hahahahahha...."bechara" :P:P

Anyways! Congratulations!You people are bechare as well! You have reached the end of the post :D" *clap clap* Thanks for bearing with my blabbers here. I am sure You all are pissed of as well. Nevermind. "Hum toh bhai jaise hain waise..." :P

Anyways, I have nothing interesting happenings in these days of my life! neha is pissed off and enterataiment at home is strictly forbidden. I know I am crazy but....... Now don't conclude I am tortured at home yaar :P India to take on pakistan :D but .... :((.

and guess what.....oops! sis here. :( catch ya later[farewell party eve] till then bbye and take care :)

and btw my bhaiyya did not leave because of me. His friend rang him and called him. I am not that idiot of course :P

friendz forever

2006-01-04T22:25:00.000-08:00

A good honest friend! Everybody craves for it. Don't you? Of course yes. Nobody is out of this world. Everybody is popular or rather recognized by someway or the other. Your virtues entices others. Many may be around you because you are intellectual or because of your charming personality,helpfulness, hilarious nature or whatever. We enjoy their company and so they do. We may boast of big friend circle. We enjoy and share our happiness or ecstacy with them and bask in the friendship. When things go your way everything is set to perfection. We enjoy, we live and we love life.

Unfortunately life isn't that smooth. At some point of life we have to encounter failures. It is then we are a looser. We are distressed and depressed. If I fail someday how many backs will I get to see? How many will really come up to share my grief, sorrows and put genuine selfless efforts to do away my anxieties and problems.How many will really stand by me when I am not myself !?! Very few. I am sure very few or may be none(unconsidering the family). The crowd may disperse leaving you solitary!

It is at such point of life we actually recognize our true and honest pal(s). we may have a box of attractive, beautiful, huge collection of gems but out of them ony seldom we find the rare and precious ones!! If you are fortunate to have discovered that then that is the best present one can ever ask for in life. Such gems are invaluable. Isn't it?

Ok. I know I know I am stupid to be up with such crap perhaps..but impulsive it is.My nasent thought !

good bye skul dayz and 2005 :(

2005-12-30T04:00:00.000-08:00

Time is running out of hands. We are again at the verge of another year and are eagerly awaitng 2006[not me though]. The year 2005 has been a great year for me and as far as I can remember the best of my life so far.

This was last year of my school life and we tried to make it as memorable as possible by some silly acts we never did actually. Celebrated the bonanza week ,took snaps in all possible poses :D.
All rite the most funny incident was when class 10 'D' was punished by Mrs Jacobi(my class teacher) facing the wall in class 10 'A' before the students of 10'A' with fingers on our lips :)). It was supposed to be embarrasing but ask me and Panna and in fact everybody the way we controlled our laughter. I mean if she would have seen me, I think I would have laughed at her face itself..baap re...jaan bachi.

I had managed to climb a tree along with another friend of mine in my school to pose for a snap for my friend and the rest crowding around the tree. CHEEEEZ. Now time to get down..everybody moved and myself sitting on that lower branch and wondering how to get down."hey hey help me!!" ..and eveyone ROTFL =)).
And then there were innumerable mischiefs we did :D...ooof i started again :P

BTW I met my brother(cousin) after a long time and when I saw him I was --> :O I think he has already touched 6 feet almost. Still two years younger than me :O.....he's heading for the sky I guess.
It was this year itself I started blogging and have really been enjoying it. I met some real great people this year. some real good online friendz. lucky me!! :) Yes yes...and a cute bro too :D...no less than "circuit" hahaha..

All right, the year 2006 is goin to be the turning point of my life. I know.
I could decipher the following causes responsible:-
1. My numerology says that the coming year is the beginning of another cycle of some years. (I believe in numerology...so far very true for me)
2. I am gearing up to face the first public examination ever. "ICSE BOARD 2006" class X.
3.The ten golden years of my life in SJC will come to an end and with the farewell party I'll be an Ex-Josephite. :(
4.Cannot think of anything beyond SJC at present but will have to. New college, new friendz and new millieu. I can't believe this :O. "Old is Gold for me"

Even the smallest of my wishes have been fulfilled so far by my parents. I love them. I just hope I would never dissapoint them anyway anytime in my life. Hmmm...with a braod smile I now welcome the year 2006. I am ready to face the uphill task ahead.

ahem..ahem

So then from here I take another (short) break from blogosphere. With a promise to be back and as usual back with a bang hopefully :D

Wish U a very very very very very very HAPPY NEW YEAR.
May the coming year fill your life with joy and love. May all your dreams come true. May you achieve your goals. Have a wonderful, bright, beautiful and and a great year ahead.

Goodbye and take care and keep smiling:)

with lot's of love and wishes :)

apaharan-a real life experience

2005-12-28T00:22:00.000-08:00

'M' was on his way to attend a marriage ceremony from one to the other town of our state. On reaching an almost desolate area they(he and driver) were forcibly brought to a sudden halt. He was picked up and when the driver offered resistance he was shot!

A bolt from the blue. The new spread out like fire stunning the whole lot of the family members. Everybody shocked and petrified.

And then the drama began..........

Strikes and protest calls near the CM house. The regular visits of police and press waale kept bugging them,but to no avail.No news of him.
And then came the ransom call. A huge amount was demanded which left the family aghast!! These abductors had every bit of information of whats happening in their home.Who visited? Who left? Who was in the balcony? Who was roaming on the terrace? What did he say...etc,etc..EVERY BIT! The complete tapori(dirty) language,full of threats(to life of course),etc. and dirty abuses. Threats like-"Khatam kar denge pooray khandaan ko"!!

The tears in the family could'nt stop. Even his(victim's) daughter had her engagement the very month which had to be postponed.

When there were calls..only his daughter would receive them(they were xtremely arrogant and more threatening to males) she wud call"bhaiyya..mere papa ko chod do" just to be as polite and humble as possible. The response would be-"Le..le..sun..tere ko behan mili hai...bahin" and wierd laughs "dekh tere baap ko juice pila pila ke mota kar diya hai".

These people unhesitatingly accepted and said.."hum log ka isme thoda hi maal hai..baaki to upar jayega..n% CM ka m%..iska ...x% iska and all such open confession.

After ransom calls the place of subsission of the money was alloted, a particular person was asked to deliver that.It was very clearly evident that they had the plans of another abduction. Certainly somebody else was sent to the asked spot.Quite young man and the ransom money was bargained to less than half of the demand.

On reaching the alloted spot another vehicle arrived.He sat in silently when he felt the gunpoint. After the formalities the person came back.After a day or 2 he(victim) was released by the abductors much to the joy of the family.

He was...he appeared..well place yourself in such a situation and just think how and what expression you'd have!!No juice of course and the only relief was he wasn't tortured at all and was treated with respect!

And today when I visited them-they've no servants,no workers nobody else besides family members except for their driver(eyes of suspicion did stare him once though)who was discharged from the hospital.

This was my real life experience, two years back. The most dreadful ever. The victim 'M' was my 'mausa'(uncle) !! How dirty is politics and politicians!!! Don't know about others but certainly here in Bihar. With the new government in much is expected of it but then again nobody knows! I've simply lost my faith in politics and polticians.Our state has never progressed despite talented people here.Who is responsible for this??.Abductions is no less than a business here.The movie brought out the true face of this place but the dramatic end!

Life's certainly turned out to be a hell for them!! You never know at what point of life you have to face what. Evil does exists all over the world.

I simply wonder....Why did Pandora ever opened the box of troubles and let in such evils creep into the society here in this world threatening happy and peaceful and loving life of "aam insaan"(ordinary people)!!

no no..this pandora(me) never gives such troubles :P

A love letter from....

2005-12-25T01:45:00.000-08:00

In my last post I had confessed that i'd be writing on apaharan. woh aisa hua ki meri article ka apaharan ho gaya hai...have to get it released by paying the ransom money till then read this....;)

On the eve of the last and the best birthday of my school life it so happened...

In the evening I was cheking my mails.....just had a glimpse of all the senders...I had to scroll back and my eyes rested on this:-

sender-Rahul Mehta
subject-Happy Birthday neha

RAHUL MEHTA!..ok..I was never known to this guy. I stressed and pressed my brain further-do I have a brother named Rahul?No..No..certainly not...thn who is this :-? Ok..there was a broad smile on my face-wah wah...even stangers do know it :)

Eager to know I first hit upon this and started to read.My broad smile was converging and my eyes diverging. I had the shock of my life. Eyes wide opened and I was still....

This was the received mail:-

"
dearest neha,

u know what......i.........i like you very much......i know u dont know me........but i know you very very well via net n wanted to express my feelings 4 you.
i cant resist myself from writing to you. my heart is really throbbing while i am writing this to you for i dont know how will you react... i know you since the last 22 days. i saw your comments about your principal in your blog but posted no comment because i wanted to do something special. i loved reading your articles. my heart was broken when i heard about your first crush but i was much relieved when i saw it was all about cricket. phew!!!!! i love you neha and i want to talk to you somehow.....please dont refuse my request.........my cell number is *********** an please call me. i am eagerly waiting to hear you. i am waiting for your reply.......otherwise i will keep mailing you..............i love you dear......very very very much......so much so that i dont know how much.......please reply me.......please reply.......please..........u may call me a mad lover or u may hate me after this act, i dont care......i have just expressed my feelings about you. love you sweetheart:)

rahul mehta
your mad lover

"

so this left me dumfounded :O......who's this new character...to whom i've never uttered a word...who has never had a glimpse of me and neither did I...and who is this stupid to have such crush by just forming an illusion of mine via my blog...a new blogger and none of the post so personal....it sounded weird...but at the moment i was like --> :O
I thought this certainly is a stunt..or somebody's time pass. wht if...it's neither !!
Fine I disclosed this to 'Panna' and 'Silky'...and both of them laughed their heart out.....then I was adviced to give him a dhamakedar or zordar reply...certainly this is a prank.

finally i decided not to make it an issue and ignored it.

24 hours hence....i received

"
oh neha......

u have much misunderstood me.....i am not that kind of a person who sits on net frequently trying to pass out my time uselessly.......i m a student of STEPHENS COLLEGE of delhi and studying economic honours.actually under the extreme pressure of my emotions, i forgot to wish you happy birthday. i am really sorry. i feel like cutting my head for having forgotten the birthday of my dearest----???

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NEHA

neha please do not develop any misconceptions about me. i truly like you and i assure you that i can do anything for you. if you have any problem with me or you feel uncomfortable, i will try to make myself comfortable but please n please speak to me. if you dont speak to me, i will continue to write to you till the end of my life and dont take this as an object of laughter, i really mean what i am typing.
please mail me dear.......please

love you neha
rahul mehta>

"

Hadd ho gayi !!...now that was the limit. Impossible...I was so frustrated that.....

Just then 'Smriti' rang me

me: hi bol

she: Woh Rahul Meh....

me: WHT? tujhe kaise pata? :O
( I never revealed this to anybody except..... I hate rumours.)

she : Mujhe mail mil....

me : WHT? tujhe bhi :O..I knew..I knew this guy is a hoaxer.

she : arey nahi...teri enquiry ho rahi thi !!

me : Don't tell me...he's the limit yaar. gawd yeh sab hai kya??

she :Toh ...kya reply maaroon...

me : chup karo...kuch karne zaroorat nahi. agar yeh sab papa ko pata chala....I'll be kicked out along with my PC. ajeeb musibat hai!!

she : toh..

Me : toh kya..I have decided ...mamma ko mai bata dungi..

she : nahi nahi....arey this isn't needed. C'mmon. Ignore yaar.

Me : Wht rubbish is all this..."feel like cutting the head" etc etc

she : aisa kaha?? :))))))))))))))))))

me : tujhe hasi aa rahi hai....

she : :)))))))))))))))))))) :))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))......listen neha...woh aisa tha naa...yeh sab hamara plan tha...tera B'day surprise. maine+Silky ne milkar yeh saari planning ki thi and.....:)))))))))))

as for my reaction it was full ...overloaded with...anger, surprise and a laugh. So I brushed my anger wich hardly lasts for 120 secs...and confessed "ruk tum dono ko batati hoon....Y didn't this ever came to me !!" :(( mazak ban gaya mera toh...y always me ?? :(((

the plan was so plotted- a new id was created by 'Silky'....mails compliled by duo...so all this translates to:- the director was 'Smriti'...Producer and script editor 'duo'.....and then released.

ok. the very nxt day. It was sports day in our skul...I was given a special welcome by my junta....everybody almost fell laughing in particular "Silky" and "Smriti".......and I fell upon them....

So..wht a pleasant birthday surprise....this made it even more memorable :)) hmm...I was gifted a boyfriend --"mr. nobody"
fine-so my Birthday much resembled April fool's day :((

that was all super fun they(we) had.......

(had to much shorten this long tale of mail from female as a male :P) it just struck me when i was reading this
btw wish u all merry christmas :)

buzzzzzzzzz

2005-12-21T23:22:00.000-08:00

...I am back...back to the blogging world n as usual back with a bang! So in this long hibernating interval...had many many experiences...scores of changes...n inumerable happenings!

So the latest is ...Mrs Jacobi(our class teacher) accepting the junior's invitation announced-
"U R invited to the farewell party on 25th of January".
time:by 10 am shud be @skul
dress code:-saari !!

The biggest happening is-I've done with my school dayz :( . No more of it...i cannot beliv that :O

btw I heard Priety n Nes Wadia soon entering the marital knot!! ok I've nothing 2 do wid that.

yes.i saw Harry Potter and the Goblet of fire...n liked it... liked it? Nay...I hated...How could a handsome n a smart guy like Cedric be murdered :( huh detesting...

Anyways. So during my pre boards xams...it was...was...well..... day mares n night mares..."world Wars" Huh!! Why did they ever took place..saare bombs toh hum students par girey :(
...n jus for change I thought of watching a movie (which I rarely do)...n guess what? I watched the flop movie "Main Prem ki diwani hoon"...gosh! the movie's full of overacting though not that bad...abhishek was superb...hmmm...so he deserves a place in my list of favourites.:D
I know... I know my taste is tasty :P.

btw...I watched that sallu Miya's movie as well..."Kyonki" eeeeeghh!...The worst ever!!!

arey haan. how could i miss that-CRICKET Could'nt resist myself frm watching cricket. Be it a test match...Yeah...that's what I love watching.

..saw "Apaharan" also as soon as I reached home after my last paper.

n wht the hell's happening in cricket?? How could this treatment be done to S.G. How cud Cricket board be so...so...so...idiot...stupid .. senseless... thoughtless... whtever...agree. I wasn't satisfied with his previous perfomances. Found him inconvincing n had no complains for giving him rest for a while. But when he returned back with score of 40 around in both the innings...how cud he be dropped or rather kicked away??Have they lost their brains...I'm talking abt selection commitee. An experienced guy like him...the most successful Indian Captain...the Bengal's tiger...whose perfomance was satisfactory..ever deserved this treatment??...Well Dravid's my favourite ever n forever but I'd side with S.G n deeply sympathize.Ok..ok...no more cricket

... Btw...India is playing superbly...winning in succession...hope it wud carry the rhythm..well...dhoni is jus too impressing n Yes congrats to Kumble for 100th test n Sachin for 35th century. Ok fine no more :(

So....gotta watch Neal n Nicky too...

have seen many changes around...but me the same...the same blabberer :D....U need hajmola 2 digest them? Ok fine...I know u don't.

More... Hv decided that till now hv taken all my xams bit easily...so now neha's goin 2 get serious. seriousness n me are poles apart :D

alrite..wrapping up for now...till then y don't u watch 'apaharan'?..hmm nxt post definitely on this...

adieu

2005-11-09T09:42:00.000-08:00

well...need a break!! i mean blog of mine needs it..i mean i need it...i mean the commentators need it...i mean.... u got it i hope!!
i repeat-seemingly heated up blog of mine needs to cool down..winter's close at hand...so both of us(me n [hopefully] my blog :P) have decided to hibernate..well spring will come. n promise to be back...but after some interval !!
wanna keep away from this blog...!!

see ya
after.......

and again no misunderstang plzzz......it's all my predecided step!

'none'..publicizing some personal..

2005-11-07T12:49:00.000-08:00

Who am I? Why am I here? What am I craving for? What's life?......

Ah..I am in an inevitatble state of mind. Hassled and tedious for no perceptible reason :( I am not sure what actually I want to confess. At present my mind, my soul is crestfallen.I am in a pensive mood.

I agree, I talk rubbish, blabber, often kidding or whatever. Yes. I am moody and at present dull and cheerless. Perhaps I am boring and wearisome. I take it-I am in such lovable milieu. Fenced in among intimates(who loves me despite my negatives) Still...but still I feel lonely, solitary,remote sometimes.I want to do something.I want to speak something.I want to share something.But what? I have attempted to decipher myself..life...but to no avail.I try to be vivacious or may be I am. Do people like that? I can't hurt anybody and if I do(unintentionally), it keeps bugging me for hours and days.:( Perhaps this is why i try to adjust myself in accordance with everyones' disposition! Yes I am introvert kind of person and timid.

I prefer silence, serenity and calmness(at present at least). There isn't anything absorbing around. I am only physically present here,mentally.. far away... on a sea beach..in a garden.. in a church..or in silence...thinking something deep..very deep..in an attempt to reach the root but in vain..engrossed in in my irrational thoughts without any head or tail.Sometimes I sit at night gazing the starry skies..gripped again in some thoughts..nascent ones!

Ah..I have heard many a times..Life's beautiful. Is it really? If yes. then how? I can't feel so....It's(life) on its track,hauling me alongwith. Dragging on and on and on and...

Am I complicated or am I making things appear so? Am I stupid or impractical? Am I confused? Ah..I am dull and sullen . Well I am in disgusted and nauseous state of mind.

My sincere apology for this obscure and dowdy post/thinking of mine. May be it's crappy for you. Just blurted out to unsaturate my drenched mind :(
Sorry nothing appealing to entice you...

Guyspeak and girl talk.....

2005-11-03T18:15:00.000-08:00

For the two species of Homo Sapiens, the opposite sex have always been the hot topic in their respective conversations/discussions. Conversations(substancial one of course) are often thought-provoking. A topic was at the back of my mind which i wanted to discuss over. I read an article which enforced me to post this one.

MEN and WOMAN. It's commonly heard that the former regards the latter by "It's difficult to understand woman". m sure the vice versa is true too. Well i am almost utterly aloofed from male counterpart having been a product of girls school, having no own brother and yes do have ' He' cousins but mainly younger ones :( Anyway I have had( in few months) my GK aggravated to some extent :p

A bit astray. All right coming to the point. You yourself eavesdrop on the conversation of men and that of woman. Yes, the two species are poles apart but are their conversations too??? What difference(s) can you spot? I spotted some(from article and from my limited access)...

Men develop closeness through shared interests and activities. They mainly tend to share financial, professional and physical worries with their male peers, talking about sexual issues etc. quite contradicting to the deep(emotional) conversations of women.

Women on the other hand prefers discussion over personal topics, vocalizing their feelings for each other. "emotions and displaying them are never ever a crime in woman's book" :)) I am not saying it(crime) is for males!!

Women describe their friendship in terms of closeness and emotional attachment. For them the willingness to share important feelings,thoughts,experiences as well as support ,characterise a friendship. Well I agree but ..."And these qualities are somehow not visible on the horizon in the interaction between men".Is it?
"Normally ,they (males) shy away from discussing illness with women as they don't want to appear physically vulnerable in front of the fairer sex." :o

Men talk to impart information conveying facts not details, are goal oriented and not very likely to seek help or direction .Women rather talk about people than things conveying feelings and details, relationship oriented(goal oriented too) and ever ready to accept help and directions.

Think patiently...is it true? It seems as if as far as conversations are concerned, they run parallel(never meets).

Women do personalise experiences expressing them emotionally...
As far as males are concerned a social phsychiatrist has something different to explain "In our culture ,men have grown up with stoic fathers who never cry or display any strong emotion.They have seen male members of the family always in control.So for them, being strong translates into not getting involved in any emotional discourse,leave alone demonstrating any emotion.This is probably why you will see that men are more comfortable talking to close female friends about deep personal issues. "

Anyway there are always exceptions!! Unconsidering the blabbers my highlighter ran through the main(general)conversation.

Hmmm....the most enigmatic enigma for men is women and for women is men.And for U? I hope it isn't my post :p:p:p

Whishing u a very happy n safe diwali....

2005-10-31T23:47:00.000-08:00

With lots of love and wishes :)

with lots of wishes...:)

2005-10-28T08:10:00.000-07:00

i m completely out of mind...oh...not gettin actually how to or rather from where to begin! my heart is overwhelmed. Wow! what a special day..really, do i deserve so much..so much love..so many wishes?

On 27th of oct..i knew the coming next day has something special..of course it was India to take on Srilanka...beliv me. i wasn't so very excited abt my B'day..but it was the love of some real nice souls around which made the day..so very special that i myself ..cannot belive...

10..9..8...7..6...5...4...3...2...1....Trinnnnnn!!! were u counting..i was simply amazed calls started pouring just ..at the moment when the two needles at 12 kissed each other! hey onam..were u counting? wow..one down n ready to take on other of anjali..yet another of shagun n two at a time..hey u all made me feel as important as PM or rather more :)...my sis, mom n dad..all wishing"happy B'day, neha" wow.. n this was the buzz around 2day :)

i slept n was woken up at 4 in morn..thn again slept n woken..i reached my tution early morn n was welcomed by a lovely b'day song( yes, i got the wishes of my sir too )...headin for skul..n i entered those green gates..on..on..on..to my class..placed my load..AND...
jus in a matter of few secs..i was crowded by my beloved friends..all embracing(ah..nice n tight :P)...with their wishes.."Happy b'day..^n) inumerable wishes...wow..i was feeling so special!! i have been wished since a month before every day..oh!thnx to anjali:) embraces..tons of kisses...and infinite number of b'day wishes...n yes the B'day song at the recess by the big huddle around "happy b'day to u...happy b'day to u...many boyfriends to u ....:))" wow..i was the centre of attraction on the campus..when my dear ones almost broke on me to giv me BRITHDAY BUMPS.....in skul..they had almost done..aaahh..i was almost on ground lying on my back..resisting...hooo...!! what a special treatment :p

...hugs ..kisses ..wishes..was the word of the day!! got unexpected wishes..gawd ..did the world knew it was my birthday?? i cannot beliv me...every year..this day came but none was as lovely as this

....back home...mom was ready wid my fav dishes....my mouth was watering......n yes india playin spectacularly!!!

well..the wishes of my online friendz..the e cards..the SMS's..calls...all those who took trouble to wish me otta busy shedule of theirs..n made the day 4 me...:) of course ict's present was too a valuable one...wht a victory!! that was icing on cake :)well...all this not to show or anything..just to highlight the selfless love..care..n yes the strong memo of my friens(gals hv elephant memory..rite?)well the boyz too:p ...at the moment my eyes are flooded...n heart is heavy...so much love...so much importance? m i worth ..do i ...oh what to say.....jus couldn't handle
.....I mean each n every wish....means a lot to me...how much?...i really can't say!

hey..m gettin emotional.....the flooded eyes..oh kahin overflow naa ho jaye.....................

thnx again...4 makin the day so very special to me....a memorable one..which is engraved in my memo...ahhh...it's all your love that is my strength...i know thnks is too small a word..but yeah...u made my day the best in 16years...each of your wishes n love mean alot to me...:)

a special dedication to those gr8 souls..who have moulded me so lovingly...to make me so very special..i love u mom..dad..n yes my sis!I LOVE U MY DEAR DEAR DEAR FRIENDZ.....

m gettin too sentimental......

My first crush.....

2005-10-25T06:10:00.000-07:00

dekha tumko jab se
bas dekha tumko yaara
tumse koi acha hai naa
tumse koi pyaara

the latest one..! not actually latest coz unfortunately it's the only one i had :(

BOLD?? ..beliv me! it's a CRUSH !!

i thought n pondered n reflected n thought...shud i disclose??? n came to this conclusion....
"dil hai ki maanta nahi"

Before i continue ....i'd like to dedicate a ditty for him....
"mai shayar toh nahi...magar aye ---.....jab se dekha..maine tumko..shayari..... aa gayi"

true ..it's very true..
i haven't divulged it yet..but one thing is for sure...mujhe shayari zaroor aa gayi.

Days n nights ..hours n minutes ..i thought of nothing but him :)
It was the strange spell that his facet cast on me that made me his oblivious follower..i knew he had many such lovers around..but i had lost myself..i dunno
...he was there ..everywhere..in my thoughts...in my dreams...in my books(shayari)...on my lips...and in my heart. i could not help thinking about him. i thought my studies are goin to be affected but my (unreasonable) love was so strong ...i couldn't stand that my love has weakened me..so academic results too improved :) mere life mein bahar aa gayi.

i was BOLD by his aggressive personality(of course never on me)...his attitude..dedication..courage...n wht not.He wasn't always available...hamari mulaqat kabhi kabhi hoti thi....ask me..mujh se poocho maine kaise har pal bitaya uski yaad mein...bas woh aur kuch nahi... My sis had given up..she made fussy attempts to keep me from him...my mom had spent hours explaining me...my dad enraged ...scolded angrily, tried to explain lovingly but i could not..."dil hai ki maanta nahi"mai use bhool nahi sakti thi.

i dunno how..but it happened !!! he was stalked by many and he enjoyed it...n i was one among them.i could not resist...could not control myself...my biggest weakness was once again victorious- m ruled by my heart!:(

examination times were also same...khayalo mein woh bas woh....was that my infatuation? i never knew..n i did not care..coz i just loved n enjoyed his company....i was just crazy..!!
"uske siwa koi baat nahi... uske siwa kuch yaad nahi..."

well tell u.. he was mast..and y not? after all I was fida..toh kuch to khaas hoga hi :P

i guess enuf of hide n seek!! might be intuitive..??

chalo..bata hi diya jaaye...

he is..

is..

is...

is...

actually i was BOWLED by cricket :))))

i was crazy about it...very impatient during matches...well i spent nights n dayz...hours n mins etc thinking wht shud be SG's nxt plan. well:))...cricket fever was there durin my examination too...mom ,dad, sis were tired of explaining n did their best to keep myself away frm TV durin matches..i cud not afford to miss a single ball !!

as far as shayari is concerned..i had written many poems..on cricket and cricketers..etc etc..:P :P

a small incident..which reflects my stupidity...:((
i was at railway station in a nasty mood coz i never wanted to go anywhere since we had indo pak match that day.....:((
n i had missed almost the whole....:((((( i kept myself updating with the score though
then fortunately i saw the last over of the match at station itself..a close match..dragged to the last ball
..nail biting one..i was still. n my eyes glued to TV..n that of my folks to me... irritatingly!!
last ball..pak needed a boundary n india a wicket (to win)

...thn..the ball was hit n kaif took a spectacular catch...i springed up in exhilaration...with both my hands raised...!!!! :-Omy folks...other waiting passengers..all eyes turned around n focus was on me.. ..:P well..wht can i say...i was so very embarrased at my juvenile act..my father sitting with a raised eyebrow..anyway. who cares ? hum jeet gaye ;)

anjaane mein..i gave my folks a gud opportunity to poke fun at me even till 2day :((...that momentary scene created by myself makes me grin at myself :P :P

anyway..that was my crush..interesting naa?

now y "was"..coz few months back i had crushed this crush!! so it is my first crush ;)
anyway..i have realised ...i haven't seen match since many months...i m sure ICT needs me :P..well jab tak i was watchin evrythin was smooth ...n now!!

...m here team india...i m back to charge u up ;)

well..m sure ind is gonna come back to track very soon...

C'mmon INDIA !!

I LOVE INDIA...N..CRICKET !

i wanna get back my tag...Priya ka zaheer...Smriti's Irfan....n mine????
pooray gyarah ;)

m comin...to cheer u...mai aa rahi hoon..................

btw..wht did u think was my crush :P :P :P

Do u burn the midnight oil?

2005-10-17T01:02:00.000-07:00

If TOI (education times) wasn't at your door step today, check this out. Well, I found this article quite convincing. Just to add -if u have sound sleep daily - I guess u need not waste your time reading this!!

"LATE NIGHT LESSONS
Of late there is an increasing number of individuals who complain of various academic problems.Some can't study while others despite studying ,do poorly in their examinations.Some even complain that they do not feel like studying or feel mildly depressed,while others have even been prescribed anti-depressant medication by the doctors.

Percy is a case in point. A contentious child,he worked hard on preparing for his standard XII board exams and CET.He began drinking large quantities of coffee at night and would sleep for just a few hours.He also aquired a collection of loud alarm clocks so that he would be on time for his early morning tution classes.

But despite all the hard work, he kept making careless mistakes and lost a lot of marks.The tranquillisers prescribed by his family doctor only made things worse. Even after sleep-deprivation was narrowed down as a possible cause, he kept arguing,"sleep is a waste of time!"After much persuasion ,he agreed to try sleeping longer for a few weeks just to see what happened.Within days,his mother noticed the difference:he looked happier,was less irritable and was doing much better at studies.

Like Percy,there are an increasing number of 'sleep deprived' youngsters.Sometimes,youngsters,because of their studies or long hours spent playing computer games, surfing or chatting with friends on net or even watching television, get very little sleep. Scientific research shows that sleep is important to health and sleep deprivation aggravates and increases the risk of developing a number of psycological and physical illnessess including heart attacks and obesity.

Recent research by sleep reseacher psychiatrist Dr Guillo Tononi of the university of Wisconsin shows that even the friut flies sleep!

Indeed, it is a universal phenomenon in the vast majority of living species. Most importantly, he has found that adequate sleep enhances creativity, learning and memory. Some of the most creative insights and discoveries occur during sleep!

Most youngsters need 7 to 8 hours of sleep every night, though some need up to 10 hours. In late adoloscence, there is a spurt of growth and maturation in the brain and during this period the individual needs much more sleep. While these small 'sleep debits' can be made up by sleeping more the next day, it is not a good idea to sleep for a few hours on weekdays and then try to make it up over the weekend.

Stimulants like caffeine in coffee, tea, colas and energy drinks may give a temporary sense of wakefulness but they interfere with the quality of sleep and induce anxiety. After using stimulants, some students follow it with tranquillisers to counteract the effect of the stimulants. We know that they actually worsen the quality of sleep due to supression of phase of sleep called rem. During rem sleep, one dreams and it is believed that during this stage of sleep the brain does it's housekeeping connecting new data with old and removing all that is unnecessary so that we are not overwhelmed by extraneous stimuli and learning.

One must learn to appreciate the need for sleep and allow one self as much sleep as needed. The best indicator that one has had enough sleep is if one wakes up feeling fresh and remains that way through the day. Often, prolonged sleep deprivation or stimulant abuse lead to insomnia and one has to learn how to sleep well.

A little time spent learning to effectively manage one's time and learning enhancement techniques can help free up the time to enjoy one of the few luxuries of life for which one does not have to pay anything!

It also says...

WAYS 2 SOUND SLEEP...
1. Restrict intake of stimulants, like coffee, tea,colas after 5pm
2.Do some mild exesrcise for hours before going to sleep
3.Draw the drapes and darken your bedroom so that the sun does not disturb you in the morning
4.Do not wake early morn unless something really urgent comes up
5.Switch off your mobile phones before going to sleep
6.You may use your eyeshades or ear plugs to deal with envirnmental disturbances
7.Develop a sleep ritual like listening to the music or reading before going to sleep
8.Use yourbed gor sleeping and not for studying or watching television
9.A light snack-banana or skimmed milk-before going to bed is helpful."

well personally i put my question mark over 3rd and the 4th points.
what do u comment? Is that yaaaawwwwnnnnnn??? :P

Woh lamhey...Woh yadein...

2005-10-15T00:27:00.000-07:00

"As u know..it's a pride for our skul that this year we'll be celebrating the 150th anniversary..a big milestone.....(a long speech) ..so the school has decided to take u to a trip"
"trip?...arey yaar wohi trip to the zoo :)) " c'mmon..150th! there must be something special...may be a trip to Rajgir:)) :))" "huh!..St Michaels take their students to Rajgir or Bodhgaya every year..!"
"Attention..you've got to make the selection...within a day or two because ur tickets have to be booked as soon as
possible.."Bombay to Goa or Ooty to bangalore"
"WHT?":-O
Eyes wide open and ears still shocked!..Wow...is this jassi announcing?there was a loud cheer and applause. I couldn't believe. was that possible?
so five of us(Silky..Smriti..Surabhi..Priya..amd myself) were ready to convince our parents and definitely we suceeded. Unfortunately Surabhi had to back out.
personally i wanted Ooty and goa ;)
those were really gr8 days..wonderful time out there with my best pals :)now it isn't possible for me to narrate each and every incident coz each n every moment was a memorable one..! Jus highlighting
some hilarious..light moments

before that..

Mumbai was wonderful and Goa simply too romantic and ravishing(my favourite). What i most liked were the beaches..they were lovely...those cool onshore breeze brushing the hair and passing by gently kissing ;) those beautiful sunset was picturesque..that was just ...well words cannot describe feelings. I was imbued ;)

okay ..back to friends :)well..one of the most engrossing happening was :))..most hysterical..definitely funny tha toh Silky hi hogi ;)
It so happened ma'm was njoying her fruti when a SOMEONE distracted her. well HE was constantly watching her without a blink..m sure silky's systole and diastole might have accelerated when she was chased by HIM. Silky aage and HE after her..shit..she lost the race ...?tab kya hua?..Silky's fruiti was snatched :)) :)) :))and HE was nobodyelse but our ancestor..Mr. Monkey!! We could hardly control our laughter when we saw her with a blank expression..Well Silky it was a gud race..u never gave up! Neither the fruty nor the race.btw..i have got the evidence too..i took the snap of that monkey who was then on the tree ..njoying the fruity :D

another one..this time it was me:-

we(i was with smriti) were shopping...silky and priya were boating ....i had selected a nice white kurta for papa..bargaining was on..whew i was njoyiong that!!
Jus thn
"neha beta..."
"smriti..kuch suni?"
"yep..koi tumhe bula raha hai.."
"but mujhe yahan kaun jaanta hai?..(it was a male's voice)"
"sahi hai..may be koi aur neha.."
bargaing was on...
"neha beta..."
me: "yet again..i think something is wrong here.."
"mai bula raha hoon..idhar"
we turned and wht did we see?

an elderly man...sitting and selling lemonade..he was smiling..

"xcuse me..aap neha ko bula rahe the..?"
"hmm!"
"aap kaun hain?" " how do u know her name?"
both baffled!!
"..mai aap logon ka driver hoon(tour bus).."

"oh acha.." "but still aapko mera naam kaise pata..aur yeh nimbu pani..??"(i swear i had never noticed him)
"tum log ek doosre ko bulate ho..bas aise hi..( we were told... by the time we enjoy sight seeing etc..he sold lemonades)

still that was bizzaring..otta so many ..y only me? m still confused.. abhi tak! Smriti do have any ans?well he offered us lemonade ..though we politely refused
..on with shopping..

suddenly realizing
we r late..damn..bus!!
we rushed..thnk god bus was there.. all were already in..though we got thodi si daant..still bus ko toh rukna tha..i saw that driver in his seat ;)

this time a serious one..!

Bihar and biharis :(

the word Bihar comes and what comes to ur mind? is that Mr. Laloo Yadav and his ardhangini Mrs Rabri Devi?I mean.. i can't understand what do ppl think about Biharis..! Jahan jao..ppl were saying -oh u all are from Bihar!! woh laloo Rabri ke state se. I was really sick of those comments. Finally i had opened my mouth-"Bihar has many other ppl besides that couple..huh"..that was exasperating. People commenting- it doesn't seems that u ppl have come from Bihar. Now what does that mean?Biharis have special look or is there some special tag that they hold! those mumbaiyas were amazed to see Biharis speaking English!! i was really bilious-do hell with those ppl..just to say Bihar is no exception..they are indians too and yes they can speak fluent english..with a decent accent..and if it's the native language that is made fun of..every state has it's own..jus that politicians have spoilt the image then why should always the poor citizens suffer. If any of my non Bihari readers hold such false impression..plzz i request u..Bihar isn't bad. Well...truly biharis have always to be mute listeners to several comments..anyway we
girls weren't ready to accept it..and definitely gave smart replies to those idiot chaps..who at last had to seal their mouths. and we having a good laugh then...anyway..whatever u say.whether"i don't the trust indians..or ..eggjactly.." that looks good till kidding and plz no hard feelings for Biharis..!!

a bit out of way..coming back to the trip we had a gala time out there..jus enjoying..masti coz we knew very well"har pal yahan..jee bhar jiyo..jo hai sama ..kal ho naa ho"

essel world..water kingdom..ellora caves..museum..planetorium..mumbai's bhelpuri..those rooms of hotel was no less..everything was just perfect..wonderful..or what to say!cruise ride in goa was a beauty...whow! that was too romantic...couples were invited to dance on the stage..i m sure..silky ke list ka
koi naa koi might be there in her imagination..woo and wht abt priya?? well..smriti..emm i think she is akalmand like me ;) Silky ..howzzat?

there were numerous funny incidents..darkness scares me ..aur raat ko...1 baje UK was contantly knocking at our door..and none of my friends ready to awake..! God..first time i wasn't at home..so far ..aur UK ki toh...nxt...He..he..he..raat ko hi use Rekha Singh(hindi teacher) se daant padi.."sidhi apne kamre mein jayeingi..suna aapne?" :))

..something i regret the most is that my camera...:( beach pe woh namak wala paani :(( spoilt it...well it had a beautiful photograph of ours..it would be the best one..par sab par pani fir gaya :((

bon fire..music..they were gr8.
Hmm disco...(jus 4 gals rather josephites..boyz not allowed) all enjoyed it well..but to be very frank discos aren't my cup of tea..u can say bashful. yet it was gr8 fun watching everyone tapping rather bouncing ;) their feet! at last Priya dragging me for kaanta laga..mohabbat hai mirchi..and yes o.ho hoo ..ho..! whew..somebody knew how to whistle..a senior..i think :)) :))

..so 10 days passed..and yeh pata hi nahi chala. homesickness..was the word..but still among such loving and caring friends..it was different.After the tour we returned much matured ..much experianced..learnt to live away frm home.. make adjustments for sake of others..all of us making petty sacrifices! It was jus gr8 time..and we five..got even more close..we are gr8 friends..have gr8 understanding..have been sharing all are emotions...!

For the first time like most of my friends i was away from home..and i had wet eyes when we boarded the train(4 mumbai) ..my friends though being in same plight..wiped my tears..jus that Silky's funny line soaked my tears.."yaar..sab emotional hain...par where r my tears? i need glycerine" we all burst into laughter.Back home...and i embraced my folks...too happy to see them :)

well..that was my mesmerizing trip...

i hope smriti ki dil ki murad poori hui...who is goin to pay for the loss of energies... electrical...mental...muscular...etc ??? ;) ;)

Jassi jaisi koi nahi

2005-10-09T11:46:00.000-07:00

Yet again no picnic:( What the hell does this principal(Sr. Justina-so called Jassi) thinks!She definitely lacks empathy towards her students. Why can't she realize that this is our last year and we should have some privilege(s). I just want to screw her up[to bring the disorder state of brain into order] and I am sure my friends are on my side. She has just changed the face of our so called one of the best school of Patna.
"Girls cannot wear jeans on special occasions." Just imagine if it were co-ed we would be asked to come in burkhas I guess!! It's a big school-with big campus,big buildings,big trees but no canteen!! Damn. We have demanded canteen thousand times but she will sit with her stuffed ears. Every other day for sake of something or the other she has to collect money, fund etc. ?These missionaries!!! I doubt they send these funds to right place or they fill up their own banks. Gawd! the way they collected Rs.400 from each one of us for the sake of building contruction by organising a lottery. That was a shit and when we fulminated this she started her same old ghisa pita saying "we are doing this for poor children..." blah blah. Saying -u can not contribute for them and if it were for tour u would have willingly offered. Now definitely we could willingly offer if she was ready to teach those children free of cost if not at negligible pay..ab a handful of students can do nothing. 5 outta 3000!! that's a poor figure.
150th celebration of our school-open fete organised! All reputed schools were invited. I was dumbfounded-school, school nahi disco lag raha tha. Well it was cool but imagine where was this principal sitting?... where the songs were being dedicated-"this song is dedicated to x by y"dekha tumko jab se..!! This is the same principal who has prohibited girls for wearing jeans.
And yet again on this teachers day when 9th std performed their show on "dhoom+das bahane" they were sent back in between by her! Yet again wasn't that an insult?
She expects her 21st century students to tap their feet on gazals and tribal dance. Sorry if u like it!
Every year where are we taken for picnic? That "Sanjay Gandhi Jaivik Udyan". zoo. yuck! no outing! chidiyaghar mein each year rather alternate year le jaa kar beetha dete hain and this time woh bhi nahi:(( I guess by now those monkeys and animals might have recognized us! they might be wondering that why didn't the Josephites turn up this year!! With whom will you sympathasize? With those animals or with us?
For the 1st time in my life I've been such a critic of someone but I think she deserves this!Kewal ek hi punya kiya hai-that is.. " bombay to goa tour" a memorable one:) par woh bhi in celebration of 150 years of our school..that was luck -in 8th std!!anyway that open fete was also cool ;) afterall there was greenery for the first time in our school;)
Did I say too much?
anyway..unconsidering the principal, our school is the best coz we've spent 10 beautiful years of our life and as usual we Josephites will keep the lamp of our school burning. May it celebrate a wonderful 200..250..years and so on :)

Why blog?

2005-10-09T11:44:00.000-07:00

why blog? Kabhi kabhi mere dil mein khayal aata hai....!Just to post my khayals. Something which i would like to share with my dear friends. From frutrations to Emotions be it happy or a sad one.And yes to get your comments on my thoughts!!
For introductions if you don't know me-I am a scorpion. a genuine one. I celebrate my Birthday with Bill gates. I am a sensitive girl but if you'll talk to me I guess u'll doubt this. Reason is simple my friends always say-Grow up neha..but i don want to! I don't like people with those grave serious looks. that makes me feel life's so dull and monotonous. I like kidding always being funny and charming- coz that makes life beautiful since by that u can make the world smile:) However when i am quiet my world comes to know something is wrong here!! And i can't say leave me alone:(