my nascent thoughts

yippee..i wrote again ;)

2012-02-18T04:07:00.000-08:00

Okay, guess what it's 4 am! I haven't gone to sleep. After ages i am up till this hour.

Didn't had a very good start of the day, but it ended well actually perfectly well. I mentioned in my previous post about the cloud computing workshop and I bunked it! Lazy me! Good news is that it's Sunday today and I have a choice to get up late! Monday too, is a holiday. I am planning to fast for Shivaratri. Fasting, for the first time in my life!

Swati(my ROOM MATE, actually she pretty attached to the word "room mate") is sleeping! Yeah, she's human and if my mommy is reading this post I am sure she'll definitely bombard me with her questions!

I have to wrap up this post. It's very late. goodnight neha! off to sleep. :)

I can blog!

2012-02-17T02:35:00.000-08:00

Its been long long long time since i have updated my blog. I often visit my blog and some other blogs which i used to visit way back in 2005-2006! Whoa! 2005? Seriously its 2012 now, right?
When i scroll through my posts which i used to post in my school days, and when i read the comments, it brings smile on my face. I miss that life, my school life, my school friends particularly Smriti, Silky, Priya, Surabhi and all.

Two days back, I made an attempt to contact Priya, but her numbers are not available. :( We all had promised we'll stay in touch, but things change. I miss them a lot at time.

Okay, I am just another "engineer to be", 3 more semesters and college life will be over! Well presently, I want it to get over, but I am sure when it actually happens I am definitely going to miss my college life. I have made new friends here. Swati, Ruchi, Roshni, Shiwani and all.

Swati, well on her, I can write a book. She a girl of that disposition which every person on earth wish to be with. She is just perfect. I don't have words, but honestly, she is a gem at heart who is so innocent, so lovely! At times I feel do people like her, still exist? She seems so out of world.

I don't know what else to write and I am not even sure when will I write again, but when I am writing this, am getting a weird kind of feeling! hehe! I used to blog so much, I was so involved here and was so much lost in this virtual world since I found it more fascinating and all of a sudden I took such a long break, and just avoided everything, social network, blog, chats, almost lost all enthusiasm. ACTUALLY I am liking it, and since I have started, I guess I'll continue my blabbers here.

So cleaning, dusting, removing all pale leaves here, nascent thoughts will be recorded. Life till my 3rd year of engineering has been smooth, in fact lovely! I love my milieu. I don't actually like college life,but hostel life is super fun!

So, am gonna put up more and more crap and stuffs here, to laugh few years hence like I do now when I pass by "my nascent thoughts" of my school days at times!

2:30 am, no music. Have to attend a seminar on cloud computing tomorrow. So Baby! Time to sleep. :)

autowale bhaiyya

2007-01-05T23:24:00.000-08:00

Till I was in 10th, I don’t remember a single day I traveled alone. Okay I am not talking of traveling from India to Afghanistan but like from machua toli to macharhatta. The two Ms are places in Patna. …and my knowledge about different places here was same as that of a three year old’s or you can say worse than that. I mean even if I were kidnapped I could be safely kept in the fifth building to mine’s, I’d be wondering where on earth am I. Basically, I spent half of my day at school and rest at home. Life is different now. I mean I go out alone, that too on my own. It might sound silly but it’s quite an achievement for me. From coaching to everywhere I do the traveling without any known company. It’s interesting.

There is a rush for autos when 100s of students come out of coaching centers. Mostly jumping, skipping, dancing or somehow boys manage to attack autos. The one who are left are the girls or at least I am the last one left anyway unless the autowala with a heart as big as hippopotamus refuse the boys and offers the seats to girls. Yesterday, a person came next to us[me and a friend],-“kaha jana hai madam?” “X road!” “Toh aayi ye na, mera auto aage hai.” My friend-“cool yaar, itni jaldi!great luck, C’mmon.” My detective mind came to play. Kidnapping? :O I mean how can it be so easy, when there are so many passengers still waiting, you are invited as if Rabri devi is your mami. But before I could resist, my friend dragged me, I had no time to explain her. But 15 steps ahead an auto was waiting. We sat. The autowala started, two more boys(students) came, the autowala made them sit on his either side. Another came, he was about to sit next to us when autowala screamed-“ A A A idhar aao bhai! ” …and he sat next to where 3 people were already sitting. For those who’ve never seen what’s an auto is like let me tell you 4 people were sitting on seat which was meant for one.

Both of us exchanged glances. “Whats going on, exactly!” Till the time in the auto there were 6 people. 2 girls sitting comfortably on 3 seats and 3 boys with autowala on a single seat were hanging like guavas from mango tree. Okay, we weren’t dropped at fifth building to mine’s but to exact place where we had to. When we came out and paid the fare, the autowala asked with a pleased smile on his face-“ koi taqleeef nahi hua na madam? Hum sambhaal kar chala rahe the!” He meant he drove minimising the jerks on smooth roads of Patna. I frowned but could not help smiling, -“thank you, bilkul nahi.” The three guavas…err…I mean boys sat finally on 3 different seats and the auto was on its way. We exchanged glances nth time and burst into laughter scaring away the street dog who was comfortably asleep.

Girls do have advantages. Nahi? Well at least this incident made me feel so. Safe and sound I was at home. No I am not obsessed by ‘kidnapping’ but this incident is still fresh in mind.

Anyway…I hope we come across such autowala everyday. :D

Changed scenario

2006-12-27T01:35:00.000-08:00

Love is like a butterfly.
The more you chase it, the more it eludes you.
But if you let it fly, it would come to you when you least expect it.

No no...I am not in love. Relax. I was just looking for something to begin this post. Liked this quote, found it good, so pasted it here.Anyway.

Its been a long time since I stepped into this blog world. Thanks to nitin. Well actually I owe him a lot! Blogging has been quite an experience for me.

And another year is at its verge. 2006 was of okay types. I mean this year was completely different. Everything has changed. I mean my routine was nearly same for past 10 years, and its pretty different now. This was the year of many' firsts' and 'frusts'. First time appeared for board examination. First time discovered what's co-ed is like. First time I was away at some other school, where there were none of my dear pals namely Silky, Smriti, Surabhi , Priya, Jayanti, Sneha. But I have Lekhi here. First time somebody proposed me. [It was this day when I felt ...err...I'm not a kid] First time I rejected my first proposal. :P I don't believe in gf and bf thing! First time I felt good about myself, I mean...forget it.

Well, look how competitive things are. I discovered yesterday my cousin brother has got AIR 1 in NTSE or some competition. Cool. Mindblowing. I am so happy for him& have just received his new year card with wishes-"Aim for the moon"! *wipe off the perspiration* .I hope am not getting competitive at all but these things build a lot of pressure, when you are told look everybody's performing. Papa expects a lott. I am never compared but competitons develop automatically.I just hope I'd fulfill everybody's expectations. kambhakt life mein bott tension hai, yaar! Btw, he won a digi-cam. I am envious, you know. :P Hey I hope amitanshu isn't reading this. If you are, don't take it in negative sense. Mis-understanding is the worst thing, which hampers every relationship. Life wasn't smooth in past few months.I have just overcome some serious problem which is not worth mentioning here.

Something I learnt this year. You just can't make things happen the way you want. Be patient, be your true self, you'll always get the positive output.

Whoa! Am I sounding like someone suffering from OCD or something? Nah! I am in no dilemma. Now while I am typing this I have such a serious expression on my face as if it has been ages since I smiled. anyway anyway anyway. Ab hamara jaane ka time shime ho gaya. Bole toh mere ko jaane ka hai.

Wish you all a VERY VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR, 2007!

......am alive.

2006-12-14T02:00:00.000-08:00

Examination time! Ended up with my chemistry paper[ which I obviously screwed up], and landed here in cc, after a long long time. This time I was asked if I want my net connection back, but I refused. I am still wondering what made me say so... . I have got to get back home, but after I finish writing this. Its pretty difficult, I mean I never feel comfortable in cafes, anyway, I have lot of things in mind..so much is happening around, my life has incredibly changed and so have I.

I am in a bit of hurry. This cafe is pretty dark. DAV is ridiculous yet 'cool'. There is so much bf and gf kinda things here,its fun.

What Sarjana did was...was really interesting. There's a guy T, god damn good looking and has mind blowing personality[according to her].Everytime she sees him around she'd start jumping like anything in excitement. T discovered, obviously he had to, and yesterday approached her. Actually I am skipping few things which happened before yesterday.

T approached her. She was with her friends then[I had left when it all happened] and he walked up to her. "Can I have a word?"

Rest left. Obviously the girls were giggling.[..err..thats my imagination], am surprised Sarjana didn't faint. :P

T: Is it true what A and T told me!

S: YES!

T: I mean...you don't know me, do you? And in fact never knew my name..

S: Love @ first sight. [She was 2 the point, and now I am sure and certain she's mad. Are you reading this...miss??]

T: I don't believe in such things.

S: Your problem! I do.

T: Anyway...well..all I can say is...friends?

They shook hands and they're friends.[She told this to me with utmost zeal] :))

So, this is all which happens everyday here. Pretty interesting. I find. As for myself ...ummmm...next post. Its already too late. Mom will kill me if I don't get back on time.

As for me. Mon to Sat- school. Plus monday alternate maths separate classes and Tuesday alternate Physics. So I am left with Sunday which is litrally free. Still wondering where should I adjust chemistry. 9 days a week could have made things easy. Anyway, I have become a bigtime sucking. I have read some 10-12 novels so far which I hated @ some point of time. Silky is back for two months from dehradun. I met her. Thinner and prettier. Smriti and Priya getting beautiful'ler'. ...Life is a bit busy but cool unlike me.

Would boast something before I conclude: Guess what?? I got two proposals so far. :D:D. I think its like a competition how many proposals do you get...phew...anyway will give a detailed a account of all these 'silly' things next time. Time to leave.

PS: sorry lekhi. next time. You are so cute, sweet, great. please!!:D

title is...pata nai...

2006-09-12T12:26:00.000-07:00

Another post-midnight post! [12:45 a.m.] :D

Right now my sis is standing right in front of the mirror and can see she is pretty scaringly[not sure if this word exists] scolding her image since past 20 minutes. Actually she is busy with her debate practice. I think only mad people practise debate at 1am. Anyway, thats boring, I am trying to disturb her by enrique's "love to see you cry!". and and and and and..what else to write...? ummmm..

Yes. Actually I am very stubborn and obstinate type girl.[..and I am boasting? silly me.] This attitude of mine always makes me fall into trouble. I fought with mommy today. :((( I don't know how can I be an obediant and good mamma's daughter. I'll have to work hard on this. By the way, classes are suspended tomorrow, and I don't know why. I think they'll remain suspended this complete week.

How are practical exams and viva taken? My god I never knew it would be so interesting. In my previous school I used to be so apprehensive about viva and practical and here its absolute fun. Boys really do have tremendous sense of humour. I am a actually a product of convent school and now in DAV. So when a friend saw the pic of my ex-school's pricipal in her formal uniform of nuns, he was like -" arre yeh toh gadar waali hai!"

My new school has very relaxing environment. No strict rules for discipline and all, as it was in convent. We have lots of free periods, one can easily bunk classes [btw, i haven't any yet. conclusion: I am good girl], library is good enough for time-pass, every class has almost one gulabo and a group of munna bhai type gang. Munna bhai type must be clear but from gulabo I mean...actually, there is a guy in our class, spherical in structure. Even before the teacher throws the question he jumps up with some answer which never makes sense. He stands with one of his hand bent near his abdomen and palm hanging down..well..due to gravity. It's pretty difficult to explain in words actually. He has approx 10000 doubts in every chapter. He walks like a she-model walking the ramp, what you call cat-walk! That's brief description of gulabo. I know its bad to make fun of somebody, I sometimes feel sorry[yeah, I am saint type] for the poor guy as well, but I bet he never does for hiself. He is actually a chipku type.

OK. leave gulabo aside. It's so much fun here in this school. Teachers are very very very friendly[exceptions exixts]. Two months have gone by and my new friends have discovered a lot a about myself- "Neha, how can you be so careless?" "You are crazy!" "You, IDIOT" I am obliged, I am pretty known here by my virtues, you know.

Papa has been giving long big huge gigantic lectures-"nobody will ever respect you unless you stand on your own feet and all by your own..blah blah..."[I am sure though I don't use wheel chair]. Well the ultimate conclusion of his theories is - Study hard, study study and study else you'll regret later in life." Yaaaaawwwnn!! I am feeling sleepy now. My god I had nothing to write and still I wrote so much? :O

Presence of 'absent' mind

2006-09-01T06:08:00.000-07:00

“You know, apka face Kisi se milta hai?” Fifth time. Fifth time somebody told me this in past one month. Can it be a mere co-incidence? I never knew my face is as common as my name itself…

By the way, its past mid-night and after a long time since my net connection has collapsed, I am up at this hour and sitting here typing something. Exams are over. Damn classes once again begin from tomorrow.

...And including them even I have failed to figure out who this ‘kisi’ is, who has this misfortune of having similar face to that of mine. My friends say we sisters have similar looks, so I think we have. Yet it’s obvious those who pointed out aren’t talking about my sister. Okay. It looks like I am making this an issue as alarming as if it’s a case of identification of any terrorist. Fine. Coming over it.

And I have not been able to get over my absent mindedness. My dad asked me to fetch his calculator from the other room. Next, I found myself in the dining room and with the refrigerator’s gate opened, looking for calculator!!

I said my exams just got over. Before my physics exam I was up till 1 am and again woke up at 4 in the morning. I was at my bus stop by 7 and waited for the bus, which turned up. I took my seat and the bus was on its usual way, I found nothing strange till a senior sitting on the adjacent seat fortunately saw me and yelled. “ Nahiiiiiii….BUS ROKIYE”! For a fraction of second school-bus-kidnapped kind of thing flashed in my mind. Bus came to a halt. I was sitting there with a stupid face, completely bewildered. She said in a vigorous tone-“Get town, 11th std has no paper today.” I bet I never had more stupid expression ever, how could I be so reckless? I immediately got down feeling glad-“ Thank God I didn’t land at school, only to make more fun of myself ” and wondering “ how come she remembers 11th ers time-table? I never remembered even my board examination ones” and “three hours of sleep for this?”. Next, I had to seek a rickshawala’s help to my way home. Would you believe it, if I say that it was the first time I was actually traveling alone, on my own. I found it a bit funny.

I’ve something like more than 20-30 new friends [not actually friends though]. I’ve met people with a variety of disposition and some with particularly weird attitude off late. Most of the girls in my tuition use respectful terms like “aap”. Its fine when you talk to your aunt or mom or any senior citizen but it sounds weird if your own batch mates calls you so. When I said, “why don’t you call me “tum”, we belong to same class if I am not wrong.” They hit back-“No, aap sounds good rather pleasing. Don’t you think? No harm.” I gave a confused smile with “okay” wondering the respect I have displayed for people elder to me by “ages”. “Tum” for my elder cousins is very common and yes if I use “Abe, tu, stupid etc” for this elderly responsible citizen of the country particularly, I wonder they’d shoot me by their glances once they ever find me talking in such tones.

… I can go on and on with my silly talks. Actually I still have lots to talk of but I can see its 1 am by now and certainly I have to get up at 5 tomorrow. I’ll be at school tomorrow and I may get to hear – “ Yes. Yes. Got it!!!! You resemble Aishwarya Rai”! No harm in hoping. What say? * blush *

Anyway, guess what winamp is playing. “Ladki badi anjani hai..” of KKHH. I remember the movie was released in late 1999…I was a big girl then, you know.

blogging resumes..partially!

2006-08-25T04:05:00.000-07:00

I guess I need a break! So a post at intervals is just enough for the time being! Let’s not get into the details of why am I not Blogging etc and simply come to my new school. So as said I am a lil’ grown, mark, I said ‘little’ because I have always been a poor kid among my group of GROWN UP friends! [I’ll include Silky in my set too.]

Anyway the fact is DAV has good things about it. First- its co-ed! And second it has a gym! From co-ed all I mean is ‘for a change’ and from gym I don’t mean I have indulged in some body building activity or something! So relax! Btw, is anybody really reading this post? I thought of resuming Blogging chupke se...Nevermind. Let’s not get astray! I was talking of Gym. So I have opted for physical education as the optional subject and the funny thing is that I am now NCC cadet Miss Neha Sinha! AH! Sounds good, no? Advantage of taking physical education is easily scoring marks without much effort and if you’re getting advantage of playing volleyball etc, it’s just icing on the cake!

For the first few days I was like a girl in the land of aliens. Now this only means I had never seen how a co-ed is like! Boys-girls ratio is something like 5:2 in my class! As for my first day experience I can sum up and say “poor me”! I’ll put few interesting incidents to justify this!

But I was extremely surprised to know boys out here are extremely shy! Now even I am shy-ish type girl but unexpectedly they’re far more than me! Now I don’t mean all of them but yes most, otherwise we have spiked hair guys here as well who appears to be fond of shocks, I mean electrical ones! One biggest positive I have found in boys is that they’re not just helpful but extremely helpful. Err…well at least when it comes to helping girls!

Anyway, what happened is, my mom later in the evening came up to me saying I have a cousin brother in my own class whom I had never seen all my life! Now that really made me wonder how big family is of ours! Anyway, she gave a brief description of his! My father and uncle [his father] often meet but we’ve never. Though he knew me because he knew my name but it wasn’t so either way! I thought its good to have a brother in my own class and it would be interesting to meet him. Unfortunately mom had no idea of his name! Now that made it a bit difficult. So I made a guess! Actually there was this guy who from the very first day kept looking at me at intervals during class hours ,always making me uncomfortable. I concluded either something is wrong with me or definitely with him! Now I thought may be he is my so called cousin! Wonder why I always look at every guy as my brother. : P anyway, I managed to reach him when the last bell rang. Surprisingly though the school is said to be co-ed but the rules keeps boys and girls always away from one another! Wonder why girls and boys can’t interact! Anyway, I went up to him after the last bell.

Me- excuse me!

The guy turned back. Eyes wide open as if in shock! [Am I that scary?]

Me-okay....tum Amar uncle ke bete ho kya? [I was a bit nervous, not sure why! perhaps that was the first time I really spoke to some guy face to face]

Now can you guess how he reacted? He actually blushed. Looked at ground! I kept staring him!

He-No.

No, he didn’t say so. He actually shook his head!

I continued!

What? Nahi??? [As if you accept else I’ll shoot you]

Shook his head again and rushed…blushing.

First I was embarrassed of making the wrong guess! Second I was shocked. Do boys blush like this?! I mean this doesn’t suit them at least! ..but mind you he was just too good looking. :P

But the most funny thing is what happened next! He appeard to be some nerdy good looking seeda sada type guy. Okay. my first impression about him. You know what since then[i mean since that day] everytime my eyes scroll the boys side during class hours I am surprised to find him staring me. In morning he enters the class..and one glance at girls side is for sure! The dav ridiculous and frustrating rule is that boys go downstairs during recess and girls have to stay upstairs ! so he'll be the last one two leave the class and will definitely ....you know! This is absolutely funny! ..I barely control my laughter with my new friends always commenting.."look your bhai!" now thats funny!

Anyway, guess I wanted to write something and I did so! Will end up here with mere one incident but there are number of them. I need a break from studies seriously! LIfe is too dull at present. I miss my SJC a lot! Silky is hating life there in dehradoon and so are swasti and ritu in andhra! In mere 3 months how have things changed! anyway..I'll have to wrap this up immediately..actually I have a DATE with calculus today, unfortunately! ;)

PS: now making grammatical mistakes is my virtue!

fresh start ...

2006-06-09T18:23:00.000-07:00

Recently I had been orkutting too much and it looks like I am irregular in blogging. Well, I wrote a number of posts but they are still saved as draft.Too personal to be displayed here. In past few days I was in some resigned mood. There are a number of things in life which I want to UNDO, number of things I want to erase from memory. However its not that simple as pressing the delete button or clicking the undo icon! The harder I try to get rid of them the deeper it gets engraved!The human and computer memory!

Anyway, on brighter side , in fact on brightest side, I am in love with my city! I guess its absoultely right time when one can visit us. I mean one don't need summer camps[ okay. I know summer season is over] but to hell with the swimming pools of new patna club and hotel maurya etc.!The roads are perfect place for this. I mean you go out and just have a look, every street looks like another swimming pool! News says a number of people fell in manholes! Vehicles can hardly ply in certaing areas. ..and though a good number of fly overs are being constructed here in the city the negative aspect is all of them are being done simultaneouly..so damaged roads, water logging, slippery groud etc. I mean the sight in 2-3 years will be different I am sure. It will be different place 3-4 years hence but presently things have become so difficult to move out of house.

One more test to go. Few more days , life will be busy thereafter!Ummm.. I am looking forward to challenges ahead! Why do I keep saying so? I need to charge my self every now and then, certain things discourages me but I am an ambitious girl with big dreams and big goals. Challenges are interesting to take up and feels great when you get all kind of support. I mean I may not get what I am aiming for. I may not be what I dream of! ..but no loss in trying! Money always being the last concern, certain things I'd like to prove to certain people who actually prays hard for my failure[yes, there are! ..and I know some.].

All right, looks like my battery isn't working properly! Gets discharged every now and then. 7 o' clock and my sis is asleep. Now I am going to start committing untold attrocities on her. Kick her out of bed and have a fresh start of the day with another fight with her. Aha! thats refreshing! ;)

good morning INDIA

2006-05-28T18:15:00.000-07:00

Good morning post. I don't have any matter to write on but still I'll be writing this one. Lets not complicate things. Life in past few days was dull, dumb and to some extent judgemental. I have been like moron looking at stars, wondering wheredoes sky end, thinking of things and concluded HOW COMPLICATEDTHINGS ARE! I realise today nothing is as such. Khush raho, aish karo. Ummm..whatever. So this morning is a fine one. I was up at 5. My papa pulled me up straight in the morning when I was like-"nahi uthungi, !" disgust. He threatened me that he'll pass on all my chcopie to my sister so I had to wake up to better guard them.

And soon after laeving the bed, brushing my teeth to get back my close up muskan I went straight away to orkut to wake up people. Ummm...arz00n, navdeep,abishake, sunmay, abhi .. whom am i missing!My mom saw me and she was up with another threat-"phir se chipak gayi compooter se!!!" and she had to say leave the place otherwise ...well thats a top secret. Can't reveal the threat. anyway, to impress my mom I am ready after shower by 6:20 and no wonder I am here again writing a post! :D

Nevermind, mummy is not scolding anymore.I had been wondering since my childhood. Why don't I have an elder brother! ..and I have thrown this question on my parents a zillion times.I know I can't be more stupid but I used to envy my friends brothers[elder] when they used to talk of them.At least I wanted somebody who could be like-"aee..tune maara isko, ruk tujhe main abi dekhta hoon." I like this detergent ad where two kids a girl and a boy walking off to school and the girl got her dress dirty because of the ditch etc etc. and somebody who could keep a check if I have any boyfriends or if I really study or ..anything..but I don't have one...whoa ..A brother or a BHAI. sounds filmy? Nevermind, early this morning this thought is lingering around my my mind beacause my cousin brother about whom I had mentioned some months back here, will soon get married. To be honest he's the only close bhaiyya, whom I meet once in two months. grrr..well well, my bua informed me of this that she has been looking for some sundar, susheel kanya for him. Hurray! That means if they'll have kids I'll be bua!! yippee. But don't call me aunty!

KOi tension nahi hai I have this nonsense sis.okay we both share the nonsense part because last time somebody[me] cracked a PJ and this girl fell laughing. From fell here I mean she actually fell from bed and ended up with 5 stitches on her head. I had never seen such sir fad hasi!! So I am back to myself. No tension no worries. Tke it easy. Even if I have some. I will not go into some dilemma and switch on songs like "tanhayi" of dil chahta hai. Waise this is a cool song.

I guess I should end up here and do some study. I have to revise this class 10th syllabus..to get admitted to some good school for 11th and 12th! This is disgusting. I had been up to write a post? damn. but couldn't help. My nascent thought. I like to be the way I am!

waise bi kisi ne kaha hai-"sab moh maya hai". kisi aur ne kaha hai-"morning walk karr aa..gali ke kutte badde cute lagte hai early morning time mein". and kisi..ab kafi logon ne kaha hai kafi kuch...I'll continue with this later. mere bhai ki shadi hai. that means shopping shopping and shopping. hurray!!!

btw, hows my close Up muskan? :D

aap bade hokar kya banoge..??

2006-05-22T06:14:00.000-07:00

I slept this afternoon thinking when last I really spoke to my papa about my neighbour's dog rocky and if I have added adipose tissue or how was the last movie nagin which I was watching? Well, my papa is again out of city! Its okay. Work is worship! I fell asleep this afternoon thinking and entered the dreamland. I dreamt I was on a trip to some place out of this patna with my papa and scene is so acutely beautiful. I wonder why did I see two snakes there.My father was pointing it out and me watching two snakes very closely. It was a nice trip..only when my younger sis shook me -"uthti ho ya nahi!?! where did you keep my black pen?" Her God damn assignment!!

anyway, everybody around is too serious regarding their career. It reminds me of my stabilty regarding taking decisions. First time ever when I was asked a question like-"beta, aap bade hokar kya banoge?" My answer would be "cobbler"with a big smug. I had newly learnt the word and I found it extremely funny. Though I had no idea what does a cobbler do.

I was in class three, my elder cousin sis had recently learnt of astronauts! I liked this word again. It was the first day of our class three and we were asked anybody who wants become anything beside engineer and doctor? Many had their answer. I was all silent. Teacher-"any other?". I remember I was the only one in the end with a raised hand in class as high as I could. With a smile she asked "yes?" I stoop up proudly and answered in the tone as if I am on the top of the world with full pride because I knew none would have ever heard of this word. I proudly said it aloud "Astronaut". And I can still remember that teacher was like-"astronaut?" and started laughing and to which the whole class started laughing as well. I was still smiling and prepared my mind to kill my cousin next time on our meeting, what joke did I crack?

I changed my idea again. Not because my class laughed at me but because my cousin sis had been collecting information on computer engineers by then. So India will miss a kalpana chawla in near future. And I was busy announcing-"main badi hokar na, compute engineer banungi!" Then from basket ball player to a doctor to a teacher to....it kept changing! Now when everybody around have already decided in what field they would like to make their career. I am making chits and picking up one..umm...engineering? while my cousin sis has given her medical examination!

So life is running at the speed of light. I never realised I am 10th passed. Only a few days ago I had stepped in this school for the first time and my papa following me. With myself weeping and repeatedly saying- I'll be lost here[I found the school too big and a cross sign at the top of building scared me like anything.] Life from envying friends' pencil boxes and demanding a better one.. to buying stickers.. to my parents' smiling face while watching me first time in saari[in our farewell party]... to myself getting the certificate of 10th passed has been a long way. The first degree...Hmm..I have a long way to go , this is just a beginning after another end. Few days from now new school, new freinds, new environment, new ......everything would be new. aahhh

anyway.anyway. anyway. coming back to life! I have decided what am I aiming for! Hope I'll achieve that, otherwise nevermind I have one door still open for me. Cobbler!! :))

Whatever. I am looking forward to meet my papa, and talk of this lizard which has entered my room. We both used to get these ugly creatures out with a stick jumping all over the walls and the two bravo on prowl.

Things are changing...life is moving on...and I hate being philosiphical ! Let me get over all this and join school and get busy. Kambakht...itni holidays kyun milti hain? Life mein badi tension hai!

surprise..

2006-05-19T11:42:00.000-07:00

So after effects of result continues. Good as well as bad ones. A friend presently out of city called me up today and was expressing her dissapointment because she wanted one more marks, that would take her figure to the highest of our school this year. She has 95%. Whoa..all this certainly enraged me. I just can't flatter anyone.While she expressed her dissapointment I was like-" oh, I guess I should have jumped from my terrace by now! " ..and she was all silent for a moment. I can be very rude at times. I guess I'll have to get a book on 101 tips to control your anger and follow it strictly. Whats wrong with me? But these girls make me feel as if I am one lilliput in the land of gulivers! aah..fget it.

..and yesterday, I was made to realise how bad I am. A very close friend had some serious complaints(blame)[not regarding marks and its personal ] against me. We argued...and later I had tears in my eyes, something which wasn't since past one year. I don't cry...but it was for the first time ever in my life I had such feeling of bitterness. ..and mom saw this and she instead scolded me. "friends, friends, friends...can you think above and over this?."...I guess all these things happened impulsively, so no offences were meant because no mom would like tears in their child's eyes. I was hurt but then its okay, I realise I am bad. ...so if anyone feels so they can happily leave my company.

relax..I am not getting senti and all. On brighter side my dad was back home yesterday. It makes me feel as if it has been ages since I last saw him. and he was home with a grin on face. "ha ha..kya hua tera beta?" And we all laughed. My dad offered in his tone "kya chahiye?" I jumped up, "will I get something? yippeee :D" and in nanoseconds I hit him back "cellphone!" :D I could see his perspiring face. I made out from his expression, last time when my dad himself paid the phone bill he was asked-"STD bill?"

My mom was laughing and papa frowned. So ultimately it was decided I'll get a surprise!Now I realise 89 is rocking!!! :P but no cell phone for me, I understand it cannot be re-charged every fortnight. So lets see how can my parents surprise me! I'll pray hard for a cellphone, in case I'll have a boyfriend it will make things pretty it easy for me, if we decide things like "bhaag chalein":P

..and weather is absolutely thanda thanda cool cool! It was raining hard today. And things are absolutely fine with Indian team. So, on the whole presently life is cool except for one or two depressing moments. The only worry is about getting admission in a good school because most probably I'll not continue in my own school and then I hope its a co-ed one! :P

Its past twelve, and before my dad pours in to check if lights are still on I should go off to sleep!Winamp is playing "tu jahan" of Salam namaste. umm...Why do I like this song so much!

yeh kaise ho gaya?

2006-05-17T20:30:00.000-07:00

My boards result was out yesterday!I wrote a post yesterday,which vanished! 89.2%! Like always my mom and dad had no complaints, they insisted to be more focussed and come out with better results because I knew they had anticipated somewhere around 92-93% whcih I couldn't do!

I reacted to my result negatively, the moment I saw my marks on screen, but I knew I deserved this because I had wasted a hell lot of time and had to make up in february by waking up all nights!

..and today morning I woke and the first thing I did was to attend to a call waiting, that was of my sir. I knew what would be the next:

Sir: kya hua neha? kitne marks aaye?

Me: umm..89.2%.

Sir: awww...yeh kaise ho gaya?

Yeh kaise ho gaya! Now thats an interesting question. The tone with which the question was put up made sense to me as if marks were reserved for me but still I didn't get. ...and I know my teachers expected much more from me and I couldn't live up to their expectations. All blames to me!

But mind you, I don't care about anybody who don't care about me.There are people to discourage you. I know it was my fault. But I am not the one whom you can force to take up rat poison and say, man, you've 89, why not 90? Whether these marks matter in the long run or not , I have always taken my exams seriously. I know a number of people will certainly be calling me from all over since this news is in newspaper by now that results are out, to bug me and people whom, as I had said, I met before my birth. No matter what people will say,I don't care.

..and I am not dissapointed but I am happy. 89 is good. very good. at least if I would have made it to 90s, I am sure I would continue to neglect my studies. So theres always good behind everything. I am just too glad for my parents have always stood by me. ..and to abhi, who just made my day with a lovely congratulation card and a challenging:P + wonderful message attached. You are the best brother. You seriously encouraged me. Not only after my results but before examination as well.
and this message worked as compose dose for me just before examination:

tu tension mat le nanhi.bina kisi pressure ya tension ke ja.mai jaanta hoon you think of results,but yaad rakh,century ek ek ball khelne se banti hai. so don't rush ahead. b in the present and aram se exam de. take it from tera bhai who has seen al these exams and is just like u-bilkul normal exams hote hai.

Wonder if he's reading this!..and thanks to all those people for the best of luck and wishes and congratulations and encouraging words.. :)

..and I have lots of things to re-build and look back. I'll tell you, I won't dissapoint anybody, anybody who are special to me. whoa..I am chill, all this temper because of the teacher who called up!..and a number of calls still expected. Say whatever you want, it won't discourage me.Scream at the top of your voice, 89? huh?, I'll get this earphone and will be shaking to the tune of any rocking english song. If they feel 89 is like...whatever..you swallow the rat poison, I don't care... :P

mujhe itna gussa kyun aata hai? :O

disgusting :((

2006-05-12T13:42:00.000-07:00

Disgusting. Four days! FOUR DAYS. Even I cannot believe this I was away from net-working for four days. Damn. Damn to this fly over!What the hell!Its absolutely exasperating!huh!

*take a deep breath*

Anyway. It so happened... This stupid idoit rasc*l fly over which is being contructed here ate up all the landline connection of my locality. None can access any landline calls. Thank god we have cell phones[I snatched away my dad's, okay i call him papa]! Otherwise life would have been worse than hell for un-employed people like me!

Why am I feeling as if it has been ages since i was here last! Whoa..I am badly addicted. I rung up Priya this afternoon, I have had enough of patience, and unfortunaly the balance was incredibly un-balanced. She had to call me back. She checked up all mails for me..yeah yeah..she knows my P word. Man, I'll have to change all the passwords now. Thank god I don't have any private males..err..mails. ;)..but a big apology to the girl...for for..well she knows it.

and I had been busy doing many works. Sketching. I made the skecth of the scene outside my window. ..that includes that annoying mammoth machine which is controlled by some trained people. When I do a work I do it with full attention. I would not let my sis speak at all. What was I doing? Looking up..then down[on my paper]..up again and back to paper...again up[to observe more minutely]..and back again. So a man outside my window had been watching me doing this weird excercise. Obviously he could see my face and not my sketching book. He was sitting on the driver's seat and the work was at break I guess. I had been constantly excercising my eyes when I was copying down the machine. ..and the mis-undestanding was...[i guessed] 1.why the hell is she starting me this way since so long. 2.Forget it. must be mad.

I realised this only when my eyes scrolled down from top lining of the window to the scene inside the window of the macine. There was this guy sitting and staring back[at intervals]. When I saw him looking this side, I immediately realised. Shit ..gowd..I simply drew the curtain. Dammit! What would that man be thinking...damn. though i could hardly control my laughter. All this construction work is so close to my home that every work is visible..crystal clear.

I read science reporter. I don't read magzines at all. but I did. I read a number of fictions. I liked them. I was compelled to watch harry potter movies at gun point by my sister. I hate that movie. that character or anything related to it. I don't know but my sis is crazy. We have often fought over this HARRY POTTER movies from the threats to blackmails..everything. Well these fights are quite common. ..but everytime i see this harry potter ..i feel like..like ..like..i don't know. She has watched the movie over and over again. 27 times if she is to be trusted. ridiculous. anyway...supressing all my hatred I saw the 3rd part again. Why did I? I am still looking for an answer! :P

while ago smriti called me. I received the call. I knew whats gonna be her first words.
SMRITI: thank god. kahan thee?? my god..you'll draw me crazy...I felt like slapping u..

ME: like?..i know..chill yaar. meri koi galati nahi hai. yaar..poore area ka down tha. anyway...i sent u a message ..nai mila tere ko?

Smriti: kuch nai. nothing. anyway forget it. more important baat sun. aaj icse reults out honge. @ 12 tonite..

My heart skipped a beat. okay..i never dropped the receiver.

ME: shut up. i said will u jus shut up. kabhi toh achi news diya kar yaar!

and i had to log in immediately to check whats the status. this site says result will be out on 18th may..@ 4pm . Nahiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii...keh toh ki yeh jhooth hai..nahiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

:P:P

fingers crossed.

Okay I am not exaggerating things here. but..its natural i guess. I am not at ll worried about my results. not at all. except sometimes in the morining, sometimes at night sometimes in the afternoon and only...note to all my fellow friends: listen to me..kan+aankh+muh khol kar..if i get good marks well and good..and if i don't ..don't break off the friendship with me. :P:P

On a serious note: to fellow josephites and other icse victims. Check this and this site if you haven't. good luck.

so quickly i am ending my post here. I went through it once. ..tons of errors... i don't have either patience or stamina to re-read it! so patiently bear with me... :D

OH Thats last year's notice...blunder!..can be before 18th..was corrected by smriti. .

todays review..

2006-05-06T10:16:00.000-07:00

10:45 pm. I am all alone in my room. My sis is watching some movie. She is a happy fellow like any other worker because tommorrow is sunday.I haven't taken the dinner yet. Reason is so simple. I don't listen to mommmy and papa is out of station.

It was on the whole a very tiring day. I went out with mom for some shopping business. I have been pissing off my parents with my same usual demand. I want to learn guitar. mummy says no because she knows[she says so] that I'll take interest in it only for a day or two. She has some other reason to convince papa that soon I'll be joining coaching classes and school and whatever and then I won't be able to continue with guitar classes. Papa who at first had no objection to this now finds it better to be quiet on this. neither yes nor no.

I love playing musical instruments. I wanted to learn this violin but thought learning guitar was simpler. I tried to convince them by saying I need just one month class thereafter I'll manage by myself, through e-books on guitar.

Though I just talked to papa short while ago and I hope I'll convince the two. [fingers crossed]

On the whole it was a good day. We went out. One of our relatives visited us. I like meeting people and talking to them and making them realise how stupid I am. Two of my worried friends called up. They were worried because...

Now mom will throw away the dinner if I won't eat. Me going..eat+ let me see what stupid movie is my sister enjoying!Be right back.

I hate green vegetables! Achar rocks.It was some stupid movie. Stupid because I had not heard of the name before. Whatever. So, I was talking of my worried friends. None of them really intended to have those usual arbit talks. All of a sudden so serious? They have to say the only good school which is worthy and has some good reputation is St. Michaels. Else none. They have also to say, it appears that the whole patna is craving for the same school. hamara kya hoga? Well to some extent she was right. But at that time I couldn't give her any reply. I'll have to talk to my papa about this. Will it be better if I continue my high school studies out of the city or state? Decisions are yet to be taken. The other friend is confused. She has not yet been able to make out, what intersts her more, science or economics? How could I help her? I laid before her all my limited knowledge about the two fields and ultimately left it on her. After all she has to decide for herself. Making decisions are tough in life in every sphere.

Sometime back I was writing a diary. I have tried several times but failed to maintain a personal diary. To some extent, some, my blog comes to play. Anyway, I was writing a diary for silky. Difference in our birth dates is only of 20 days and this time none of us had gifted [birthday presents ]the either. We had decided we'll be writing a diary for each other..not full but few pages at least..with some flash back memories of school days. Of 10 years spent in SJC. I am badly missing my school and pals and campus and trees and playground and..thats it. No. not teachers[okay some] or principal. While writng it I recalled some absolutely funny incidents and many things. Chuckling and writing. ..I hope she'll like it. She is in dehradoon right now. I hope things are goin perfectly fine with her. She is too innocent[unlike+like me]. she has never been away from her family in all her life except for those 12 days of Bombay to goa trip of ours. Life away from home and family is a challenge. Nostalgia.I am myself inexperience in this case but can speak of this from my cousins' experience with whom I've been in constant touch.

Anyway..I can go on and on with my talks. I am feeling tired and drowsy. I'll go off to sleep. I saw the guitar in the market. I have spoken to papa. Now none can stop me.

I want some good result. I don't expect much because I don't think I did perfectly well in my examintaion. People on net says, these marks don't count. but here I have many other eyes fixed who are eagerly awaitng my results. Like all my relatives whom I last met before I was born, will call me up on the doomsday.

11:33. I am going to sleep. I guess she is enjoying the movie! I'll have to arrange this bed my self. difficult job :((

PS: i edited the other post because the person had objection..:

out of home not alone...

2006-05-04T12:16:00.000-07:00

It was 6:30. Mummy screamed.

Nehaaaaaaaaaaa.

I looked outside the window and fell back on bed. C'mmon. Its still night. My mom kept screaming at intallments and at last I had to leave bed at 7 am. This is very bad. When I am going off to bed early every night , I am woken up so early as well! *sigh*

Mummy informed me. We are going out today. I have some work to be done. You are not going to delay.

My ears collected the order and eyes caught sight of Mr. Mahajan's family. I felt dissapointed for the family. Anyway, I turned the page and read the prediction for the day which said that today I'll be travelling a lot. This time my eyes too gave attention to mom. "Where are we goin? "

Thats none of your business.

I frowned. Okay. At what time?

Around 1 pm.

Whoa..its so hot ouside and in midday? No reply. she went away.

After taking a shower and having break fast I came back to my room. I opened the Almira where I caught sight of the age old album. It had my parents marriage photographs and mine's when I was a little taller than this CPU lying aside. [ 2 yrs to be precise. as told to me by mummy]

My mom used to lock me up in my room. I was one of the most obstinate and mischievios child of my locality. When left free I would always crawl out of my house. One or two times I had created some bigger issue resulting my mom in tears and my neighbours gathered in our house. Papa and uncle were on their way to make a report about myself being 'gumshuda'.However I was discovered at my best friend/neighbours home. The family was out for vacation. There was nobody except for a 8 year old servant. None had thought of looking for me there but when I wasn't discovered anywhere the last option was also taken care of. I was sitting quite comfortably on the sofa with the remote control in my hand and was enjoying mogli show. I loved that. I like it today as well. and the servant was sitting on the floor, playing with my friend ,pummy's ,toys. My uncle carried me home where everyone was overjoyed to see me back and I was busy plucking out his hair one by one. But I was just wondering why the hell everybody is gazing me this way! How can I? I don't remember a bit of this. This is all what my mom told me 10-20 times trying to make me realise how big a headache I was for everyone!..nevertheless I am as well. :(

It was for the first time I was beaten up by my angry mom. But for the last time as well.*thank god*

Yesterday I went out with my friend surabhi. I robbed my mom's purse and we went out. After coming to a particular place, we both halted and thought for a while, where should we go? That was an intersting question! We are out of our homes with no idea what should we shop. So I bought a CD and some paneer. Then we went to some book store for time pass. Came out and thoought. What next? We decided to give some surprise. So both of broke into Dazy sweets and I asked the man to pack pastries and surabhi some rosogullas. I hate pastries. So after roaming here and there we decided to get back. Back home I handed over the things to mom who was pleased to see some development in this lazy fellow. I gave the rcord of every penny spent and mom wondered when did I become so responsible. My sister was busy gulping down pastries. So shopping is fun. I am learning. Bargaining is tough.I hope I''ll acquire the skills soon!

okay.
I guess enough of bakwass. Coming to present. I have to dress up immediately and get ready otherwise mom will kill me. I know, I know she needs an escort+ a security guard. So I must get in my uniform err casuals soon . Sunscreen lotion. I must not forget. main aa rahi hoon maaa...

Won't it be intersing when 10 years hence I'll read this post and laugh at my stupidity[nothing new] provided no tragedy takes place and I am alive. :P

Got money in pocket?

2006-04-28T11:28:00.000-07:00

I have finally managed to join this community of novel readers. I am too glad to know that the lucky book which I have completed is Pride and Prejudice. So after having read the book[almost], I had been like a stupid announcing and made it clear to my parents:"In my life, ever, if I will marry somebody that would be 'Darcy'." You get that. I know everytime my blabbers are despised by everyone. So they were sitting with stuffed ears and I thought I'd better continue and complete the book.

@ 3:00 am yesterday:

I was lying on my bed. My sis was asleep. Naturally. I was reading the novel. The clock suggesed its 3 ...and I heard some footsteps outside my room. Then there was something more interesting in the book and I ignored the sound outside. In few seconds the door of my room was banged opened. I was almost petrified and I looked in the direction in terror. My dad was standing with his eyes piercing into mine's. He looked at me and I kept looking at him with some [ishhhhh] expression. He looked at me and then at the clock and then again at me and then at the clock again. My mind questioned me "Time kya ho raha hai?"

Papa: Time kya ho raha hai?

I smiled but my faced never expressed the expression. How obstinate I can be!

Papa: I don't get whats the problem with you. Close the book and get off to sleep immediately.

me: Err..okay!

and like an obedient child I went of to sleep dreaming of Darcy. :P

Next morning[today] I woke up and I felt something heavy on my face. I couldn't see anything. I raised my hand and lifted it up. It was the newspaper. Okay this is the way my morning begins everyday. The newspaper is staight away placed on my face. Till that time I had only managed to open one of my eye which read about the same quota issue again. ....my eyes scrolled down. I was glad to know some fly over was being inaugurated in the city. Whew..Patna on road to progress.

I don't read the hindi newspaper not because my standard will fall by doing so. It's only when me and my sis are getting bored and we need some entertainmnet I read the headline aloud which is something of this sort. "Nitish ka chadha para-afsar shahi ko fatkara". "surajbhan aur pappu ko jhatka"..and the cartoon skids with such dialouges as "tohar ghar kahan hai bauuaa?"and the reply "loot-khasot wala barka babu ke daraj mein". :O

Myself and my sister will exchange glances and we'll fall laughing. Perhaps this is the reason why though patna being the native place I still cannot speak a sentence in the native language.

Anyway, skipping all the pages I cheked out what TOI has to fortell about my day[This is the thing I love reading]. Skipping it again I cheked out the sports column where I sympathised with Saurav G and envied Sania. Yes if I was allowed to continue as a basket ball player who knew I'd have challenged Sania's stardom :P.

Anyway the last page I read was the leisure. There was some news that was mind boggling ,at least for me. It was all about getting pocket money! I was almost stunned to know school going kids of 9th grade spends Rs 10,ooo-15,000 monthly !

Some anmol singh of class nine says:

"A guy needs to chill out, doesn't he?And that needs money. I go out with my friends three or four times a week..either to catch a movie or for just eating out. I really like gadgets and own a funky mobile too. I only buy branded clothes. My parents don't monitor my spending, if I ask for more they usually oblige. But it depends on how I perform in stuides and sports. And then, I also save what's left!

..and there were few more. I was almost shocked. I am not against pocket money but spending something like 10,000-15,000 on just freaking out etc is surprising. Well, I guess this amount is many people's monthly salary if I am not wrong. When I asked my parents for pocket money. They simply disagreed . They had always one and same thing to say. Ask what you want and if you don't get then complain, but don't come again asking for pocket money! Which I never did. Anyway, I have got nothing to do with that. But then its shocking. Whoa..21st century! :O I am yet to receive the cultural shock as well!

I can see its already past 12:30 and before my father comes again banging the door and comparing who looks better, the hanging clock or my face, I guess I must go to sleep! Gnite. ;)

'break' dance

2006-04-23T11:20:00.000-07:00

..and in one single statement...my nascent thoughts were missing this page..so blogging starts again..I know I am pretty unpredictable. :D

So the latest in my life is as follows. My time table is something like this. Eating, sleeping, reading novels[seldom], watching movies and listening to the music and as usual downloading songs and sharing files with my friends and surfing and watching some catoon shows [better than those saas bahu shows]. What a life! I am making a note of this and would read it some time hence..."woh bhi kya din the!"

..and I forgot to wish one of my close friend on her birthday. The greatest mistake I could have made. I mean I never ever forgot even the birthdays of my online friends and I forgot hers. She almost killed me on phone by her venomous words when I rang her three days hence only because another friend reminded me. Like a culprit I offered her my head, "kat lo yaar..." drag me to supreme court. I swear I won't commit this crime again ever in my life. Whoa..mind you, forget your own name but don't you dare forget birthdays!

Life is smooth. Things are going fine till date. May is appraoching. Of course. The result of my board examination will be out this May and thereafter life won't be smooth. My sis keeps torturing me with her songs.I am trying to improve my word power by reading this thick book by Norman Lewis. Ok. I have jus read the introduction so far.

One important thing I have learned. Never ever regret in life. Every mistake is a lesson. Don't care about what others will say if you go your own way. Learn from every mistake you make and don't pester yourself uselessly thinking "oh! I should never have said/done so". After all every human being makes mistakes though only fools repeat them. So things are fine.

In this holiday I have turned a bit lazy. Silky will leave on Tuesday. I'll badly miss her. Weather ain't too hot and labourers are working comfortably.

..here ends the crap of the day and so continues the 'break' dance. ;)

PS:Comment moderation was needed so has been allowed.

2006-04-16T11:12:00.000-07:00

I don't know but blogging no more interests me! So I have decided[and will stand by it].... Here ends the nascent thought of neha!

Final break. No dance this time! :P

Don't fall in love

2006-04-14T14:58:00.000-07:00

I had this site bookmarked! I checked it out today, and found this poem pretty interesting. So decided to post it up....

Forte

The quickest way to break your heart, make you depressed and ill,
Is to get tangled up inside; the side effects could kill.
All passion is a waste of time, a deadly game pour vous.
I am your friend, your cher ami, I wouldn't lie to you!

If you must love someone, may I suggest you love yourself!
Just think it through.
You'll never leave and you will find you'll get more rest.
You'll always feel as good as new.
Your freedom is the most important thing, my friend.
You must be strong! You mustn't bend!
Don't talk for hours, don't send flowers, don't write poems,
Don't sing songs and dance beneath the stars that shine above!
Don't fall in love!

Oh, don't do it.

As soon as your heart rules your head, your life is not your own.
It's hell when someone's always there; it's bliss to be alone!
And love of any kind is bad: a dog, a child, a cat.
They take up so much precious time! Now where's the sense in that?

Love takes the wildest heart and makes it tame.
If you're turned on, then just turn off!
Emotions are a thing all great men overcame.
Please don't make this your catastrophe!
Don't get attached to anyone or anything.
There's nothing worse than things that cling!
You'll go to pot, you'll turn to drink, you'll never rest,
You'll end up mad and looking like some poor, demented dove.
Don't fall in love!

Don't fall in love!

I take a break from blogging. How long..I don't know!

Just chill..chill..just chill....

2006-04-09T23:25:00.000-07:00

It is sharp 12 noon.Roads are burning ablaze. Hot dry winds of northern India is piercing through the naked bodies of labourers working nearby. So oblivious of the the perspiring faces,they are damn busy to earn their livlihood.I can imagine the perspiration trickling from their matted hair on to their shoulders and making rivulet down thier sinewy thighs. Streets are almost deserted. Some sugar-cane juice seller is standing on the street anxiously awaiting a customer. The shops are opened where hardly somebody is up with thier lists of things for homely consumption. The rikshaw puller with his worn-out clothes drenched in sweat is asleep on the negligible available space refusing to drive any passer by to his destination. The respective faces of people are dull and pale [no sunscreen lotion]. Herbs are craving for water. The bland and genial bossoms are struggling in scorching heat.

All of a sudden an orb got out of the orbit. A labourer who was continously carrying loads of bricks from one place to the other like a pendulum suddenly fainted. Others took him to shade and watered his face with the warm tap water available. He was made to relax. The work must go on. Others proceeded. The colourful bossoms of trees are deprived of their rhapsodies. The labourer is still in shade.The rikhshaw puller is still asleep. The shopkeepers are swooning. Everybody seems dizzy and tired. The poor people who have no shelter over thier head are resting under the shades of tree craving for some air conditioner. The sky is shimmering and the ruthless sun is conflagranting. The black dogs[without sunscreen lotion] on street are hauling themselves and looking at the cats listlessly.

The labourer woke up and walked back to his fellow mates. The other labour embedded eight heavy bricks on this covered head and the pendulum started swinging. A customer approached the sugarcare-juice seller and he is busy in sqeezing juice. The sophisticated women with sunglasses and sunscreen lotion[thank god she had it] is hurrying home in agility. The rikhshaw puller awoke.

...and so do YOU. It's still April. Not that hot.So Chill.Realx. I am cool........... =)) =))Woh, actually I was trying to test myself. I have never blogged to test my english and look at me I've done this as well. Now don't rush to the wall and strike your head against it.Time pass :D

Sonu Nigam is best but lucky Ali is good as well. So I was listening to this song and I thought how stupid any lyricist can be! He has no answer to any questions. I thought of giving give him some sense. I'll justify that. :D

Song: Kyun chalti hai...

Lyricist:...kaun hai yaar?

Film: Kaho naa pyaar hai ;;)

Q. Kyun chalti hai pawan.....!

A. Due to pressure gradient. :D

Q. Kyun jhoome hai gagan.....!
A. Due to high wind velocity. :D

Q. kyun machalta hai man....!
A. Because you're listening to that stupid idiot himesh rehamiya's song.[I hope I got the spelling correct]

naa tum jaano na hum...
oye, I know. U don't.

Q. Kyun aati hai bahar......!
A. Due to land and sea breeze. :D

Q. Kyun lut ta hai karar....!
A. I understand. Due to examination tension. :D

Q. Kyun hota hai pyaar....!
A. *wink wink* unlike poles attract? :D

naa tum jaano na hum...
I know I Know I KNOW... :-w

Q. Kyun gum hai har disha.....!
A. Due to dense fog, mist and smog. :D

Q.Kyun hota hai nashaa....!
A. You drunkard! X-(

Q. Kyun aata hai mazaa....!
A. Because exams are over now. :D

naa tum jaano na hum...
Oye. I know it yaar. why don't you get it !!!

Q. Kyun milti hai nazar....!
A. Because you don't have any eye defect. :D

Q.kyun hota hai asar....!
A. asar? what asar...question over ruled. Be more specific :D

Q. kyun hoti hai 'sahal'..!
A. what's the word? sahal? I didn't get it. anybody knows?

naa tum jaano na hum...
now somebody has a pistol???

:P:P

Now you know how foolish this lyricist is. right? :P

By the time you think what's 'sahal' , I'll go and check out if any other labourer has fainted or not. :P:P

Conclusion: Neha is mad. I know. You don't have to tell me. I am tired of this. *rolls my eyes*

..revolution :D

2006-04-08T07:57:00.000-07:00

There three big problems with scorpions[provided you've minutest of belief in astrology].
1.Jealous
2.fanatacal
3.vindictive

Unfortunately,it's very true in my case. However hard I try I can't do away with these but yes I've suceeded much as far as the foremost point is concerned. As usual there aren't any happenings to blog about, so I thought this is the best time I can make use of to do some thinking about my own self.

Like everybody[ most probabably] there are two things I want :
1.To make everybody around me happy.
2.To be happy.

The latter is only possible if I suceed in the former. Again it's not possible unless and until you can keep or make everybody happy at the same time. So I thought I'll turn a bit selfish and will think of none other than myself and some close people whom I really care for. From this I don't mean I'll turn oblivious towards others but I can't spent kilo-calories of energy thinking about everybody. It's never reflected on my face but even the minutest of things hurts me a lot and according my disposition I'll end up having severe headache for a reason I am unaware of! So be happy, stay happy. There's nothing in your life that's more important than your own self which should really give you tensions and worries and consumes your time and enery ultimately giving no positive result.Whether I am trying to preach myself console myself or whatever I've no idea. This is the way I am and this the way I'll be. I am happy and you cannot hurt me. You cannot make me go the way you want. I'll do what I think is good for me with a little bit of guidance. I might sound selfish. I might sound rude. You cannot help it. Accept me as I am or you don't. I'll be happy ever and forever. I don't expect anything from you and so do you. :)

.... I guess enough of lecture to myself, but to do away with any tensions I simply walk to my mirror[not to confirm I've scary look ] and I talk to myself. It works. It has helped me a lot.

The present gap is the most torturing time for all of us. Everyone[10th ers] are pissed off like anything. Spending hours at pc, near the idiot box and doing things just to pass out time is as boring as hell could be! For me to utilize time in constructive work is as difficult as to solve the kashmir problem. Nevertheless you can try. So I thought I am going to bring out some revolution in myself otherwise I'll fall in some serious trouble in near future.

1. To talk sense and stop my non sense.

The Bihar's government has changed, Indian cricket team is winning matches, fly overs and traffic lights are being put up here at Patna, Manmohan singh has started giving speech without the reference written paper but I am same blabber since past 16 years. Nevermind people do change and so will I. keep trying.

2. To read books and novels.

I am as impatient as ...well...myself. Though I must confess I got some good advice by him on his post, When I start reading any stuff my superactive mind starts running 10 steps ahead. Even before the writer will introduce the mystry my brain starts looking for the soultion! I can't help it. Till date I've only read two books and that of none other than "hardy boys" only because my sis had challenged me that I can't do it. These days I'm reading da-vinci code.Thanks to him. It's a good book but I am sure I'll complete it on the very day India will be declared a developed nation.

3. To control my emotions.

This is the second point about scorpions I mentioned above. I get over enthusiastic about anything. Either too happy or too depressed. Like extremists and unlike moderates I have extremes of nature. I'll try to keep my cool.

4. Cut of the online visting hours to just an hour or two per day.

Can mallika start wearning salwar suits? Can Indian hockey team win matches? Can Indian soccer team win the soccer world cup? Can atal Bihari vajpayee ji give speeches without a single pause, in one breath?.....so what? nothing is impossible. I'll try this out. :D

5. I'll not watch cricket match.

You think I've gone mad? Well you don't have to, I am since birth. Now since four points weren't looking good to end up with I thought of making it to five. So, don't you dare think I am going to stop watching cricket matches. :D

...so there are two kinds of people on this earth. One who just makes plans and the other who makes them and follow them. Like anybody I'd like to fall in the latter category so wish me luck. :D

Now because I cannot always make everybody happy by putting up another crazy stuff I thought to turn out a bit selfish and to write a crazy stuff for myself! :P

now I am too lazy to reread my post and edit..so pardon me for the mishtooks..

xyz...

2006-04-03T12:15:00.000-07:00

12:45 am and I am not yet asleep. Cool breeze is blowing outside after the hot scorching day today. Artificial mediums do give comfort but natural cool breeze is always soothing! My grandpa is strictly against these mediums and has always been telling me to enjoy the breeze at terrace at least, if you cannot intake those fresh soothing air of a village, everytime he pays a visit.

My sis is asleep. Her school is reopening tommorrow. Now I am wondering what the hell am I going to do in her absence at home! I was sitting by my window and was very minutely trying to observe the ongoing fly over construction near my home. My sis came to me and ended up with her face very close to mine's with a weird expression. I looked back at her with my eyebrows raised. She went back and continued her work of covering the books. She came back again to me and gazed me with same expression and then again went back and continued the same job. Then all of a sudden she began to laugh! Now that was the limit. I had to ask.

"Have you gone mad?"

"me? I thought it's the case with you. I was wondering you've no intersting story to come up with. How can you be so silent!"

..and such are the funny acts with which everyone has to tease me.

I don't know but for the past one month around a guy who choose to call himself "rajiv" is after me like anything. I have declared hundred times I don't have any boyfriends and I've never talked to a guy face to face though I've met many. This guy is the limit. He makes following confessions when I dared to ask:

who's there?Kaun bol raha?

rajiv.

kaun rajiv.

yaad karo..

what rubbish is this?

yaad karo..hum mile the.

Hello? excuse me. kya kaam hai aapko?

kaam toh bahot hai..

..and the phone was banged.

I wonder such guys have nothing better to do. He knows my dad by his profession and these days he's not just calling at my place but to that of neighbour's looking for my father saying he cannot contact our place because the phones aren't working! Surprised and shocked. I am damn sure it's some local gunda doing all this rubbish. I wonder if it'll become a police case. Whatever, we are safe. Hopefully. Trust me life of a girl ain't easy in many respect.

Forget it. I am looking forward to meet some of cousins. My five year old cousin sis and a year old cousion brother will be paying a visit very soon. My cousin who had been preparing for her med-exams is also coming tommorrw.. err...today!I am eagerly looking forward to meet them. Small kids are the best company to be with. At least all that while I'll be a mute listener to their sweet conversations. They are just lovely.

My beloved friend silky will be very soon leaving for dehradoon for her senior secondry studies. I am still unable to take this up, how we are all parting away. Only a few days ago we were careless school going students and now it seems all are moving apne apne raste. I will miss you a lot yaar. I can bet I can never have a better friend as you've been. Stay in touch wherever you are! I know two more years and there would be a complete change of scenario. I fear if we'll meet with those formalities "hey, Hows life of yours?" condracting to presents informalities and carelessness and a loving and caring company! 10 years is not a small phase and friends like this will not be everywhere. There are some feelings which stays in your heart and you cannot express. At present I don't know but I am still wondering....but the crystal fails to forecast where life will take me!

Anyway I guess these days I am thinking too much! Life is beautiful I know. It's a suspense! I love it...

I haven't gone throgh what I've said above but-"keh diya, toh bas keh diya"!...and I must hope appu shouldn't wonder if I really do get time to think so much which is never reflected in my personality!

The song-"tu jahan" by sonu nigam of salam namaste is wonderful and right now winamp is playing the same.

It's 1:10, I guess I must go to sleep!..gnite...btw, breeze is wonderful!

Neha and Pandora

2006-03-30T04:14:00.000-08:00

Neha and Pandora were sitting together yesterday night and had this conversation:

Pandora : Ha..life on net is beautiful. You make so many friends, you engage yourself in so many creativities. There are so many who appreciate you. You get opportunity to meet people from different backgrounds.You get to understand human psyche specially when you've very narrow idea about the real world outside. You get opportunity to debate and what not! It becomes like a family and it's great. Isn't it?

Neha : I know and I won't disagree to it as well. I know you're liking it. I know it has almost become a part of your life. But think for a while. Aren't you giving more priority[time] to world wide web than your family? Your mother wants to talk to you but you are busy in your own world. Your father has objected quite often and asked you to reduce the hours spent here but you are taking advantage of the liberties you've been given. Your sister would like to share some jokes with you and you selfish girl has to think of nothing but yourself!

Pandora : Yeah. You've the point but what are you trying to say? You mean I should stop this! I should remove my identity from here, from the world of internet! You think that's possible? You're doing the blogging business and everytime you're learning something new. Aren't you?

Neha : I am and I never said I should stop this networking business. Think again everything in life looks good when they're in limit! You were so busy during exams and now sitting and killing mosquitoes like an unemployed Indian! Involve yourself in something better. Continue everything but don't lose your real self. Don't forget you're Neha first and then Pandora. Read books. Write poems. Have fun. Do everything, but in limit. Don't forget you've a family. You need them and they need you. You cannot afford to neglect them. Can you?

[Pandora was lost. She was thinking, and she realised that Neha was lost in Pandora.]

Pandora : All right. You want me to leave ? I'll do so. I need a vacation. I am going but mind you I'll come back whenever I want. Till then take your identity. You are Neha. NEHA. :)

Neha : Sure, you can comeback anytime. I am glad that you agree with me. :)

...and this was the conversation of Neha and Pandora. You may miss Pandora but Neha wants her identity. She wants to be her own real self. At least for sometime!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So after a long time in fact for the first time, I went out to my friends house where so many of us[myself,Apurwa, Shagun, Jayanti, Gargi, Shruti] gathered at Onam's place. I had lots of fun and masti. It was all pre-planned. And I was talking of this visit as the upcoming 'interesting' thing in my last post. After long long time we met. Ah, and I was extremely happy. So at 12:00 noon I was at her place and everybody were already there except the two late comers[Jayanti, Shruti]. We had pretty long chit chatting like innocent sweet girls all the time aunty[Onam's mom] was around. The moment she left we had the change of topic like a bit less innocent sweet girls ;). Guys form the main part of our conversation though! :D

So at the dining table we all sat for our lunch and aunty served us those deliciously cooked meals. It was only then the two late comers arrived. We had our lunch and all through none of us were quiet. Every now and then somebody had to crack a joke at which we almost fell. Though aunty was a wonderful company to be with!

The music system was roaring and after having stomach full lunch we decided to tap our feet to the beat. Tap?..ha! we shook the building. Now I don't remember when last time I had danced but this time we were all in full fledge. Hairs all open and everybody danced crazily. That was super fun we had. I loved it.

All tired and we sat to relax a bit. It was then when some unplanned heated up debate took place. Topic? It started from co-ed schools to conservative families to boyfriends to 'falling in love'! Someone had to raise a point and the other tried to cut it off and the former would justify it. The number of cases to which we were eye-witness were put before where somebody ran away with her driver and some with her cook etc. Questions were raised how mind gets diverted and some infinite questions. I thought everybody actively participated except Shagun who had to yawn! :P

From MMS cases to school going girls ending up at gynaecologists , falling in love, rising in love etc etc! The moment I felt things are pretty heated up, I started singing a tune of a song and ended up saying-"pyaar kiya nahi jaata...bas ho jaata hai" ! A momentory silence but the environment cooled and I gladly gathered Apurwa's "wah wah wah". So the long pointless or may be not conversation ultimately ended up. When our aunty had to say mockingly to her darling Onam-"Iski shaadi jaldi kar deni hogi, kya pata kab kiske saath bhaag jaye"! We all fell laughing and teasing her.

Anyway...it was evening and was time for us to say goodbye. We left but after a long time I guess I really enjoyed otherwise I was pissed off at home like anything. A busy and purposeful life is much much better, I feel!

...and the girl pissing you off isn't Pandora, it's Neha! :P

propose a girl....ishhhh

2006-03-28T13:59:00.000-08:00

For the past two days I was busy!Busy doing some interesting chat with some [interesting] people! I find this girlfriend - boyfriend problem everywhere! ha..Why do people fall in love if it's such a tension imparting thing.Whatever.

I was saying that the chatting begins with the enquiry of my future plans and then ending up to whether I have any boyfriends. Now I am tired of answering this question. I don't have any and I don't want to make any either. Simple funda implies here-stay single and simple! I have never imagined what a co-ed school is like and how are the guys actually! So far I've found most of them flirtuous[ like myself :P]! This is my experience on net. :D

Two more months I'll be ending up in some co-ed school where I expect the percentage of boys will be more than girls. This implies that they'll be dominant! A complete change of scenario for we josephites! Anyway...

I was talking about busy neha. :D

..so this is a part of chat I had with this guy, I'll not disclose who this person is!

***** ***** (3/27/2006 5:13:54 PM): but this is onesided love

neha_sinha44 (3/27/2006 5:14:14 PM): oh!...so sad...how do u know btw...!!

neha_sinha44 (3/27/2006 5:14:16 PM): that its one sided

***** *****(3/27/2006 5:14:51 PM): yeah

***** *****(3/27/2006 5:16:07 PM): meri kabhi himmat nahi hui usse bolne ki[I never had the courage to propose her]

neha_sinha44 (3/27/2006 5:17:43 PM): hmmm...mauka dekh kar bol daalo...arre bilkul positive result aayega...and even if nahi aaya toh kya....u cannot live with same "HOPE" always naa....aage bado..look for better ;) [ propose her at the rite time ..you'll get the positive result..even if you don't you cannot live with the same "HOPE" always ...move ahead and look for somebody better]

***** *****(3/27/2006 5:18:49 PM): darr lagta hai kahi thappad na pad jaye[I am afraid if I'll be slapped me]

neha_sinha44 (3/27/2006 5:19:33 PM): oye...thoda cool style mein propose karo naa...thappad ka sawal hi nahi hota agar sensible ladki hai toh ! :P

***** *****(3/27/2006 5:20:21 PM): ok i will try

neha_sinha44 (3/27/2006 5:20:55 PM): will ya?

neha_sinha44 (3/27/2006 5:21:00 PM): best of luck

neha_sinha44 (3/27/2006 5:21:11 PM): aapki manokamna purn ho. :D

All right so this is what idle neha is doing these days ;)!
[@my gang: request hai, don't be after me for this! ]

I just had some increased general knowledge. Don't ask me what is it actually![Priya you know it well ;)]

By the way I wrote this post because I wanted to share this which I just saw on orkut:-
You'll get this computer program even if you're an economics student. Read this and have fun :D

/* Program to Propose a girl */

#include

#include

#define Cute beautiful_lady

main()

{

goto college;

scanf("100%",&ladies);

if(lady ==Cute)

line++;

while( !reply )

{

printf("I Love U");

scanf("100%",&reply);

}

if(reply == "GAALI")

main();

/* go back and repeat the process */

else if(reply == "SANDAL ")

exit(1);

else if(reply == "I Love U")

{

lover =Cute ;

love = (heart*)

malloc(sizeof(lover));

}
goto restaurant;

restaurant:{food++;smile++;pay->money = lover->money;return(college);

}
if(time==2.30)

goto cinema;

cinema:

{watch++;

if(intermission)

{coke++;Popecorn++;

}

}

if(time ==6.00)

goto park;

}

all right so I have no couselling centre on Y messenger about [how to impress+propose a girl]...and I am enjoying this! ;)

PS: So I'll be busy for the next few days, something interesting is coming up...and I am pretty excited! Not this chatting business!!

Note:The above post was meant to have fun[provided you had it], it's never written to hurt somebody's sentiments! So, please spare me and don't blame me that I am wasting mine as well as yours time!

...and I wonder what the hell am I doing here at my PC at four in the morning! damn! :O ..gnite..yaaawn..excuse me!